Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say...

Who do you confide in when you are at the end of your rope?  Do you bottle everything up inside, or do you reach for your cell phone?  

Do your close friends know every detail of your fledgling relationship? 


Don't dishonor God by revealing things that would be unflattering or misconstrued by others regarding your marriage. Gossip is destructive and slander is evil - especially when it damages your spouse.

Here's a post I wrote a few years ago about this very thing:

Don't Trash Your Marriage

On occasion I have things run through my mind that are like a "powder keg" waiting to blow. My husband might be doing something seemingly harmless like watching a TV program - but it is affecting my spirit in a negative way. It is often offensive in nature (bleeping every other word) or violent content that grieves me when I hear it or see it.  Sometimes I just have to go into another room and collect my thoughts before I say something I'll regret.

II Corinthians 10:5 says this, "... casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."

There is no doubt that I generally "bring every thought" kicking and screaming to obey the nature of Christ. Flesh wars against the spirit. The tug-o-war is real. The evil one wants to create an atmosphere of defeat, discouragement and doubt. His desire is for you to exhibit distain and disgust towards your mate.  He wants to unravel any victory or alliance that would bring God glory.

Galatians 5:22-23 is one of the greatest New Testament passages written by Paul that contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit. In my humble opinion self-control is paramount to overcoming an adverse and abrasive nature.

Our words carry an immeasurable weight with our spouses. We can bless them with uplifting positive speech or we can curse them with careless negative talk. Jesus Christ Himself said, "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."  You can't disguise how you really feel.

"...For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34)

Ask God to help you with your temper, your criticism, and your negativity. Pray for your fruits of the Spirit to be evident to your mate. Immerse yourself in Scripture and meditate on passages that reinforce edifying speech.  Here is a post I wrote on the Fruit of the Spirit:

Fruitful or Barren?

What do you struggle with most in your unequally-yoked marriage? Do your words get you into trouble? Do you fall into the trap of bad-mouthing your spouse? How do you effectively battle this issue in your home?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say...

Five Things We Can Learn From the Resurrection Aftermath

Resurrection Sunday has come and gone. Christians world-wide celebrated the fact that Jesus’ power was on full display as He overcame death.

In the natural realm, what would the empty tomb represent?  "Empty" denotes void, barren, forsaken, depleted, and lacking. 

The disciples had just witnessed a level of devastation and grief they most likely never knew before. They were confused, lost, and scared....

For some, emptiness represents unfulfilled dreams, dashed hopes, and unmet expectations.  

Do you have an empty place in your life that requires a miracle?  Is your marriage on the verge of a collapse?  Is your child wayward and faltering in the world?  Do you struggle with acute physical pain and limitations?  Jesus can minister to you in whatever circumstances you face in life.

Here are five things we can learn from those closest to Jesus after the resurrection...  (John 20, 21; Luke 24; Mark 16)

1.  Our expectations are not always met.

When Mary approached Jesus' tomb she wasn’t expecting it to be empty. She had come with the other women bearing spices in order to anoint Jesus' body. The thought of a bodily resurrection had not crossed her mind - not yet of course.

2.  We generally don’t like surprises. 

We like things to stay relatively calm and predictable. Mary had already had her world turned upside down. Now she was fretting over the fact that her Lord was missing.

      3.  We often don’t recognize what is right in front of us.

Mary mistook Jesus for the gardener. Her grief and pain clouded her perception. It wasn't until Jesus called out her name that she realized it was indeed Him. She didn't expect to receive that level of personal tenderness and compassion in her fragile state.

4.  We have an inherent propensity to doubt.

Thomas was missing in action when Jesus presented Himself to the disciples. We don't know why he wasn't there - but he wasn't buying any part of their story. He put conditions on his belief and lacked faith in their eyewitness account. He was in effect saying, "prove it!".

       5.  We frequently go back to old habits.

Peter had been in that empty tomb. He knew Jesus was raised from the dead. He saw Jesus when they had assembled in prayer and He showed Himself to them. Days later, Peter was feeling somewhat dejected and told the others he was going fishing. They also went with him, and after fishing all night, caught nothing... just as it was when Jesus found him on the shores of Lake Gennesaret.

So what does all of this have to do with us?  Well... everything. 

We often struggle when we forget that Jesus is alive and still in control.  How can we be so ignorant of those facts when His Word is replete with encouragement and hope?

The examples above end in victory for each one of them. They all became overcomers through the power and person of Jesus Christ. He will do the same for you.

Here is another post from the past to encourage you:   Turn Your Devastation Into Regeneration

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Five Things We Can Learn From the Resurrection Aftermath

Is Your Testimony - Open Mouth and Insert Foot?

Yep - I had to bite my tongue... again.

Never return evil for evil or insult for insult... but on the contrary blessing - praying for their welfare, happiness and protection, and truly pitying and loving them. For know to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing (from God) - obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection. (I Peter 3:9 AMP)

I suppose I'm the only one that routinely visits this scenario. I'm having to once again swallow my pride, humble myself and return a kind word in exchange for a gruff remark.

"Did he get up on the wrong side of the bed again?" I ask myself.  Why do I feel that any little thing sets him off like a firecracker? Lord, I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt and my ego bruised again. Why must I always be the one to back down and extend grace?

Yes - I'm being melodramatic here for a reason.  First of all, when we continuously refer to ourselves and our feelings as we complain to the Lord, we are in effect answering in the rhetorical because we already know what the answer is.  We are Christians and we don't act like the world. We are to act like Christ.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  (Proverbs 15:1)

Here is a brief excerpt from my book  MISSION POSSIBLE   

Chapter 6   In The Meantime - Serve

I Peter 5:7 says, [in humility] "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." Sometimes we have many concerns and burdens to cast upon Him. There are days we must ask God to forgive us for an attitude that is less than honorable. When my husband hurt me with a comment or action, I would find myself saying to God, "Forgive him, Lord, for he knows not what he does."  

We cannot afford to hold a grudge and give place to the devil. We must be peacemakers.  Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."  Love is the "bond of perfection" and you must "let the peace of God rule in your hearts..." (Colossians 3:14-15). We need to remind ourselves that "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).  Your husband is not the enemy - Satan is!    © 2010-2015

I was listening to a sermon the other day via a pod cast by a well-known pastor. He was teaching on the subject of repentance with reference to the crowds that surrounded Peter as he was preaching during Pentacost. His boldness had dramatically increased after the Holy Spirit had empowered him and the other disciples. The Apostle Peter confronted them with the death of the promised Messiah and their own sin (Acts 2:36-41).

Paul writes to the Corinthians telling them that he rejoiced in the fact that their sorrow led them to a true repentance that in turn led to salvation (2 Corinthians 7:9-10).  I began to see with my spiritual eyes that godly sorrow in me would produce true repentance - not just "lip service" to the Lord.  My actions needed to align themselves with what I was "saying I would change." Christians have to repent too! 

I needed to turn from my former ways of coping with the difficulties in my marriage to a more Godly response that was born from a pure heart's motive.

Thankfully Jesus is a God of second chances. He knows our frailties. He sees our innermost struggles. If we ask Him for strength, perseverance, and wisdom He will oblige us in our request. Purpose to submit yourself to His plans and His ways. Remember, taking on His yoke is easier than trying to do it all by yourself (Matthew 11:29-30).

Speaking of submission - always view it from the perspective of submitting to Jesus. That will help you as your spouse's helpmeet to do what is required by the Lord to preserve harmony and a safety zone within your marriage.  Here is a link to one of my popular posts about submission:  Oh No - Not the S Word .

So tell me - what is your greatest stumbling block in your spiritually mismatched marriage?  Do you cry out to the Lord in frustration?  Have you seen a rise in spiritual tension in your home?

Stay on your knees... that just might be a sign of a pending breakthrough in the heavenlies...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Is Your Testimony - Open Mouth and Insert Foot?

You need to check your eye --- I think I see a speck...

"I bet he is enjoying the fact that I made a mistake!" I thought to myself. 

How often do I imagine the wrong response and correlating reason for it?

We all do it - married or not... We play Holy Spirit junior (as it were) in an attempt to filter someone else's actions through our own imperfect lens.

The following passage in Matthew 7:1-5 is a familiar one. Jesus Himself is calling out the hypocrites in the crowd. He is teaching on judging others. It is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted scripture references:
     
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the same measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck out of your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye."

There is only one Righteous Judge. When we judge another according to our own standards - we invite the same standard used against us.  Reaping and sowing is an eternal law.  How foolish of us to think that we can withstand judgment according to our own making!  There is a time for judgment with regards to a believer when they are in sin.  The bible devotes passages to church discipline and admonishment. Jesus' own words appear in Matthew 18:15-17.

We think we know why people do or say what  they do or say.  We play amateur clinical psychologist and do a quick analysis of their actions.  We filter their words through our own auditory prism instead of a grace filled ear.  We must be careful when we overextend our comments and thoughts - especially in our marriage.

Oftentimes we are guilty of actually judging their motives - not their actions.  That in and of itself is dangerous, and is outright unspiritual in nature. First, it speaks to a "trust" issue.  Not only do you question their trustworthiness, but you assign a wrong motive to their deed or words. God alone knows the heart motive and sees their intent.  We are better served by extending grace (undeserved favor) to the person and let God bring conviction when it is necessary regarding the circumstances.

In Oswald Chamber's The Utmost for His Highest, he writes the following,

"The average Christian is the most penetratingly critical individual... the Holy Ghost is the only One in  the true position to criticize, He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding... There is no getting away from the penetration of Jesus. If I see the mote in your eye, it means I have a beam in my own. Every wrong thing that I see in you, God locates in me. Every time I judge, I condemn myself (see Romans 2:17-20)."

If I examine my spouse's motives, I risk projecting my own thought process onto their actions.  If I tend to be a bit more defensive when confronted - I might unfairly assign defensiveness to his words or body language. If I downplay their enthusiasm for a particular event, plan or purchase - I risk hurting their feelings and injuring the relationship.  I must stop criticizing the "why" before I know the "what".

Make certain that you refrain from lashing out when you are on the receiving end of criticism and anger. There is often another hidden reason for their outburst and sarcasm. We never really know what has transpired during their day or just before the incident that left you feeling wounded. It might be best to separate yourself for a brief period of time before you respond in a manner that is anything but Christ-like.

I often have to send up one of those "SOS" prayers to the Lord, asking for wisdom and for help with keeping my mouth shut when it is needed.  I don't need to irritate and agitate - I need to disarm and chill out! I need the Holy Spirit to take over and bring calm to a situation that is spiraling out of control.

Extending grace is not focusing on the faults of others - but rather covering them in love. 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

You need to check your eye --- I think I see a speck...

R E S P E C T ... Who Needs It? Part 2

God does not stipulate that my husband must be a believer to be respected.

God expects me to reverence and honor my husband in my actions, words and thoughts, no matter the circumstance.  Ouch!

If you missed the previous post you can read it here:  PART 1

“Familiarity breeds contempt” is something you might say if you know someone very well or you experience something frequently.  That contempt might be shown in your attitude if you stop respecting them.

Our body language is one such thing that can speak volumes to our spouse about our lack of respect.

The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 

Genesis 3:1-24 gives us the behind the scenes narrative of Adam and Eve's fall from grace. Back in the garden Eve exerted influence that was misused and it harmed her and Adam’s standing with each other and with God.  Her “desire” was to lead their relationship. She had exhibited a lack of respect by not submitting to his God-given authority in their marriage.  Now God was instructing her that Adam would take on that role and lead in their marriage.

Respect for your husband ignites the fire within his spirit man to enable him to love you in a God-ordained way. 

“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.”  Ephesians 5:22 [The MESSAGE]

I Peter 3:1-2 tells us that even when an unbelieving spouse does not obey God’s Word, they may be won over to God “by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chase conduct accompanied by fear” [respect]. 

Can you think of a time when you blatantly disrespected your spouse?  Did God lovingly "correct" you and have you genuinely repent?  How did your spouse respond?

The “love chapter” in I Corinthians 13:1-13 teaches us how God’s love shown through us to others can make an impact in all relationships we are in (e.g. husband and wife, parent and child, siblings).  As we mature in Christ, we must put away the childish things.  Many times those things are the perception that we have the right to be right, thinking we are justified in our words or actions, and feeling like we are the victim in our circumstances.

The Lord gently and methodically showed me my venerability in parenting.  I was showing preference within my family relationships that was unhealthy and potentially damaging to my marriage.  He allowed me to view my behavior as rude and provoking.  I had been “puffed up” in my thinking and was not showing love and understanding for my mate’s position in the matter. 

I had violated much of what Paul spoke of in the very verses I read during devotionals on countless occasions.  I Corinthians 13 can attest to what our love walk should look like.  I was not showing love when I yelled at my husband that evening.

This is the conclusion of the matter:  I was wrong in how I handled the whole dilemma.  

As my husband got more irritated during the day and into the evening, I should have affirmed his feelings and his lingering anger at our son’s irresponsibility.  However, I also should have communicated to him that we have all had days that just didn’t work out the way we thought they would.  Grace should have been extended to all parties, and I needed to keep my emotions in check without making a critical error in judgment.

I have confessed my behavior and manipulations to the Lord, and I have released my resentment towards my husband to Him as well.  I want to please God and show the respect my husband is due – no matter what the outcome is for me.  God has that covered.  I need to trust in His Sovereignty and let Him work out the details.

I was also reminded [by the Lord] that our son observed my outburst, and that can have an effect on his future relationships.  He knows I am a Christian in a spiritually mismatched marriage.  I am to model Christ's behavior and leave the results with Him.  I don’t need to insert my flawed thinking into the mix.  I need to trust and obey.  I need to relinquish my rights to my own feelings of being justified and God will convict my husband of his shortcomings.

There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience.  ~Anonymous

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

R E S P E C T ... Who Needs It? Part 2

R E S P E C T ... Who needs it? Part 1

Some of you might identify with my sentiments here.  You might even agree with me in principle.  But more importantly – what does God have to say regarding the matter?

Respect  can be defined as:  the act of giving particular attention; to consider worthy of high regard; the quality or state of being esteemed; to refrain from interfering with.

I’m going to share a personal story here that occurred during this past holiday season.  God has spoken to my heart about what took place.  I feel it could be a conversation starter as well as thought provoking for those in a spiritually mismatched marriage.  

This Post is PART  1 of 2  ~

My husband and I were enjoying our adult son’s two week visit along with his 3 yr. old daughter. He had been on deployment for 9 months and was on leave before heading back to his duty station.  Things were going great and we loved watching him interact with his toddler daughter after the long separation.

A couple of days after Christmas he went golfing with a friend and promised to return in time for me to go to work half a day.  I kept our granddaughter in the morning and we agreed he would meet me in town after his golf outing.  But things didn’t quite work out as we planned.

Long story made short – 18 holes ended up taking much longer than he anticipated, and to make things worse – he forgot to leave me the car seat for our granddaughter.  Needless to say, I couldn’t go to work or transport his daughter anywhere.  As the day wore on, my husband’s temper reflected it proportionately.

By the time evening rolled around our son was approaching the last hole on the golf course and still had to drive back to his friend’s house to get his car and the car seat.  By now my husband was fuming and our dinner plans to meet the rest of the family were in jeopardy.  The holiday season was not so merry…

It shouldn’t have happened, but it did.  I was making excuses for our son and trying to be the peacemaker in our home.  Family members were waiting for us to join them in town and the plans had been changed multiple times.  My husband was livid with our son for being irresponsible and for his lack of proper planning.  

When our son finally returned home (over 4 hours late), I was waiting with our granddaughter when my husband informed me he wasn’t going with us.  He got in his car to leave to go get something to eat and at that very moment our son pulled into the driveway - blocking him from leaving.  That did it.

My husband started yelling from inside of his vehicle while I was trying to put our granddaughter into our son’s car.  Our son wasn’t aware that his dad was so angry.  Then I saw the look on his face as he was caught in the crossfire of his dad and me fighting.  Once we were on our way to meet the others, he asked me why dad was in such a foul mood.  I had to gently but firmly explain to him what led up to the night’s messy ending.

In our 30+ years of marriage we hadn’t traded barbs with each other verbally like that in a long, long time.  I shouldn’t have yelled back at him, but I was so angry and he was so out of control over what I thought was an insignificant thing.  I realize now that I made things worse by downplaying the whole event while telling him to, “just go and leave us alone!”

I would like to take this opportunity to say that our son is a great young man and a wonderful father. He is responsible and thoughtful.  He simply made an error in judgment that day that had ugly ramifications.  He was out of his element after being on deployment for 9 months, and he was here visiting us instead of at home in his normal environment and routine. 

Later that evening we were all “walking on egg shells” as we skirted the issue in order to keep the conversation civil.  By the next day – my husband and I briefly discussed what had happened and I felt the Lord convict me of my bad behavior the night before.  My son apologized for any inconvenience he caused us and I apologized for acting in an ungodly fashion to my husband.

Now – let me say that I felt completely justified in what I had said and done during that episode of “behaving badly”.  Isn’t that exactly what we do when we know we are not honoring God (or our spouse) while we are angry.  Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry, and do not sin”; do not let the sun go down on your wrath…” 

The parent / child relationship really doesn’t change that much as the years go by.  I found myself taking sides again with our son instead of my husband, something I had repented for long ago (I thought).  Okay – am I the only one who regrets putting preference for my child over my spouse?  Am I the first wife to show disrespect by marginalizing my husband’s opinion for that of my own?  Wow – why was I so selfish and controlling with my words?

We will continue this discussion in Part 2.  I want to share with you what the Lord spoke to my heart in the weeks following this family occurrence, and how I hope to make adjustments in my thinking and behavior in the future.


Come join me for a look at how God turned something hurtful into something hopeful...  in   PART 2

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

R E S P E C T ... Who needs it? Part 1

Can't We All Just Get Along?

“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

Don’t you just hate to be in the middle of a conflict? Or how about living in a home where there is strife and tension? I don’t know about you, but I desperately want to live in a tranquil environment.  I admit it – when all is said and done, I’m a peacemaker!

That being said, I realize I can’t always control my surroundings, but I surely have a pivotal role to play in how I relate to others when peace becomes elusive.  But what happens when peace is lacking in our family, personal and work relationships?  How is it possible to keep the peace then?

When we endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3), we have done so without offending God and wounding our conscience.  

We have a dire responsibility –a holy charge if you will – to be at peace with all men, but especially in the Lord’s house.  This charge conveys the urgency of nothing being left undone on our part, in order to preserve that peace.   If you want to focus your worship on God, you’ll have to make peace with your fellow man.  

In Matthew 5:23 Jesus says, “Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way.  First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”  He declared that when you are rightly related to God, you will do things differently from the world’s ways.  Jesus had just taught the famous sermon on the mount to the multitudes that surrounded Him on the hillside, including the beatitude; “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.”

Why are the peacemakers blessed?  Because they are submitted to God – under His mighty hand – useful for the Kingdom. They have rightly rejected their right to their own way.  They have peaceably humbled themselves unto God (James 4).

Hebrews 12:14 instructs us to, “Pursue peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…” 

Peace and holiness go hand in hand.  Proverbs 4:23 declares, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”   Psalm 24 says, only “he who has clean hands and a pure heart” can stand in the presence of God.

Preserving peace often entails a sacrifice on your part.  Sometimes it means “biting your tongue” and swallowing unpleasant words to keep from spewing them out.  We are told to impart grace to the hearers (Ephesians 4:29), and season our speech with salt, knowing how to answer those who are curious about our walk with the Lord, thus encouraging dialog in a peaceful manner.  Remember, we are still a “work in progress” and in the process of sanctification.

In the book of Romans, Paul addresses the believers in Rome concerning their Christian duty to God, to themselves, and to their fellow man.  After teaching on the believer’s position in Christ, he exhorts them to live a transformed life, thus bringing glory to God.  Beginning in Chapter 12, verse 1, Paul pleads with them to lay down their lives on the altar, as it were, for the sake of Christ.  By giving over their own bodies as sacrifices, they would relinquish any right to their own destiny or desires.  Their offering is purely voluntary, and thus, honoring to God.

The great bible commentator, Matthew Henry had this to say about the Romans passage: “Study the things that make for peace... peace without purity is the peace of the devil’s palace.”

Faith and patience will enable you to follow after peace and holiness.  Be sure to never discard a conviction, if God brings to mind something that He wants you to do to foster peace in a situation.  Don’t have an obstinate attitude – realize that you will be held accountable to God for dismissing a perfectly good solution to “making peace” with your brother.

Finally, here are four (4) brief things to keep in mind with regards to living in peace…

Don’t be judgmental

Pick your battles wisely

Look for common ground

Always defer to the Holy Spirit’s leading

Remember, others are depending on you to be a peacemaker… If you are God’s child, you have all you need to be successful within God’s sovereign plan.  Make it a point to do all you can to foster true peace, that your spouse would recognize your efforts and God would receive all the glory!

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Anger Management God's Way

Why can't you act civil?  Don't talk to me that way! Didn't you hear what I said?  I'm not yelling... I'm making a point!

How often do conversations and remarks get out of hand at your house?  If you're in a spiritually uneven marriage things can escalate rapidly.  What happens when you just don't see eye to eye?  I don't necessarily expect you to answer me - but I do know one thing...we all lose our tempers and react instead of acting with self-control.

Anger is a menacing thing - it simmers and stews and boils over.  It produces toxic poisons that seep into a relationship unless you take measures to stop it. There are many Scriptures concerning anger. Here's a sampling of them:

It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army. ~Solomon (Proverbs 16:32)

A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 25:28)

A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 29:11)

Self-control means controlling the tongue! A quick retort can ruin everything.   ~Solomon (Proverbs 13:3)

A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 14:29)

A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 15:1)

If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun to down with you still angry - get over it quickly;  for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.  ~Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.  ~Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:31)

(All Scripture quoted is from The Living Bible - TLB)

Whether you are in a Christian marriage or in an unequally-yoked marriage, if you are a child of the King, you possess a different set of anger management skills than a non-believer.  God has equipped you with Spiritual sensitivity and an important component of your fruit of the Spirit; namely self-control.  

The Apostle Paul lists self-control last in the fruit array - but certainly not least (Galatians 5:22-23).  This particular quality enables the believer to mentally "pause in the heavenlies" before acting out in the flesh.  Christ in us provides us with a check in our Spirit man and the power to overcome our flesh in a time of weakness. Simon Peter writes in his epistle about our growth in the Lord, citing self-control as one of the keys to being fruitful in your walk in and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ (II Peter 1:5-8).

 So - what do you intend to do with your your anger?  How about no retaliation?  How about bury it in the sea of forgetfulness?  How about trading it in for constraint? 


Below is an excerpt from Mission Possible - Chapter 4 ~ Painful Reality

 "Many times, in discouragement I would say, "God, I can't do this anymore; I'm too tired."  Then I would hear God speak to my heart, "Yes, I know you are...just rest in Me and leave this at My altar.  My grace is sufficient for you...My strength is made perfect in your weakness" (II Corinthians 12:9).  He would say "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden [weary], and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Verse 29 specifically says "rest for your souls." 

When you are weary from the battle and tired of the struggles in your marriage, what Bible verse brings you guidance and comfort?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Anger Management God's Way