Anger Management God's Way

Why can't you act civil?  Don't talk to me that way! Didn't you hear what I said?  I'm not yelling... I'm making a point!

How often do conversations and remarks get out of hand at your house?  If you're in a spiritually uneven marriage things can escalate rapidly.  What happens when you just don't see eye to eye?  I don't necessarily expect you to answer me - but I do know one thing...we all lose our tempers and react instead of acting with self-control.

Anger is a menacing thing - it simmers and stews and boils over.  It produces toxic poisons that seep into a relationship unless you take measures to stop it. There are many Scriptures concerning anger. Here's a sampling of them:

It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army. ~Solomon (Proverbs 16:32)

A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 25:28)

A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 29:11)

Self-control means controlling the tongue! A quick retort can ruin everything.   ~Solomon (Proverbs 13:3)

A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 14:29)

A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 15:1)

If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun to down with you still angry - get over it quickly;  for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.  ~Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.  ~Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:31)

(All Scripture quoted is from The Living Bible - TLB)

Whether you are in a Christian marriage or in an unequally-yoked marriage, if you are a child of the King, you possess a different set of anger management skills than a non-believer.  God has equipped you with Spiritual sensitivity and an important component of your fruit of the Spirit; namely self-control.  

The Apostle Paul lists self-control last in the fruit array - but certainly not least (Galatians 5:22-23).  This particular quality enables the believer to mentally "pause in the heavenlies" before acting out in the flesh.  Christ in us provides us with a check in our Spirit man and the power to overcome our flesh in a time of weakness. Simon Peter writes in his epistle about our growth in the Lord, citing self-control as one of the keys to being fruitful in your walk in and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ (II Peter 1:5-8).

 So - what do you intend to do with your your anger?  How about no retaliation?  How about bury it in the sea of forgetfulness?  How about trading it in for constraint? 


Below is an excerpt from Mission Possible - Chapter 4 ~ Painful Reality

 "Many times, in discouragement I would say, "God, I can't do this anymore; I'm too tired."  Then I would hear God speak to my heart, "Yes, I know you are...just rest in Me and leave this at My altar.  My grace is sufficient for you...My strength is made perfect in your weakness" (II Corinthians 12:9).  He would say "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden [weary], and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Verse 29 specifically says "rest for your souls." 

When you are weary from the battle and tired of the struggles in your marriage, what Bible verse brings you guidance and comfort?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Anger Management God's Way

You've Got Mail !

Don’t you wish God would just send you an e-mail and keep you current on what He’s up to?  Perhaps He could instant message us when we’ve over-reacted to our spouse’s ugly reply. Maybe He can have a Priority Mail envelope appear at our front door with an answer we’ve been seeking. Being married means having to practice “conflict resolution” on a regular basis. As a Christian married to a non-Christian we need our communication line wide open to God. Remember hearing your computer’s audible alert “You’ve got mail!”? Well, God has His own way of getting our attention in this tech savvy world of ours…

For years current pollsters like George Gallup and George Barna have revealed through their polling data that Christian marriages fare little better than marriages at large. The divorce rate is nearly identical. Biblical teaching and preaching on marriage is readily available from well known pastors and ministries. Many of them provide easy access to sermons and programming on their websites, MP-3 podcasts, radio programs and TV shows. Marriages are under attack. It’s not a matter of “if”, but “when”.

All of this “advice” is great – however, the best resource for marital woes is still directly from God’s Word. You must search the Scriptures and allow God to speak to you one on one. I like to think of it as “checking my God-mail”. By taking the time to stop and look at my “Inbox” – I allow the Holy Spirit to remind me of an action, thought or word that I need to reflect upon in order to respond appropriately.

I might have been overly critical with my husband on an issue that was emotionally charged for me. No matter; you must let the Holy Spirit speak to you about your behavior, actions and heart motives. The health of your marriage depends on your ability to “delete the spam” and open the important God-messages that He sends your way. Practice extending grace to your mate. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Sometimes we complain to the Lord about our spouse. We grumble about their behavior or general demeanor. Let’s be clear here – we’re not responsible for their actions. Jesus told Peter in John 21:22, “If I will that he [John] remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.” In other words, don’t worry yourself about what Jesus is going to do or not do for that person… you follow Him and what He has destined for your life. Let God work in you to resolve your issues regarding your mate. You’re a “work in progress” that God will complete according to His divine wisdom and sovereignty. Commitment to your mate and vows is critical to overcoming adversity at home. You have to purpose to work through problems and extend grace liberally.

Pastor Greg Laurie, on his radio show A New Beginning, said this regarding marital strife and minding your own business: “Read your own mail.”  He was preaching on the state of marriage within the Church and how the enemy delights in our willingness to “play the Jr. Holy Spirit” [my words] when it comes to pointing out your mate’s sin. We all get caught-up in recognizing sin in another person's behavior. We focus on our own hurt, pain and betrayal. We keep our gaze on our feelings instead of God’s character and His ability to alter our thinking and circumstances. Jesus clearly reminds me to “remove the plank from my own eye, so I can then clearly see to remove the speck from my brother’s eye.”

The Bible portrays godly marriage as a representation of Christ and His Church. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” God’s love is the foundation of a couple’s marriage – even when only one spouse puts that concept into practice. John 3:16 is the love gesture given for both marriage partners and the tie that binds the heavenly seal over your marital covenant. Your commitment to Christ sanctifies your marriage in the eyes of God. I Corinthians 7:14 states, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband…”

Next time you sit at your computer or grab your iphone, just remember - God might be vying for your attention. Listen for the Spirit's alert subtly announcing “You’ve Got Mail !”

 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

http://www.Godmissionpossible.com

You've Got Mail !