5 Things to Consider in the Midst of Depression

 Sadness is an expression of grief or unhappiness. It often precedes a brief season of depression.

I am generally an upbeat, positive person. Cheerful, encouraging, and hopeful describe me most days.

So why do I find myself feeling so sad at times?  What causes me to well-up inside and become so despondent?  Why can't I control my emotions better - especially in the presence of other believers?

When you live in an unequally-yoked marriage, you feel like you just don't belong in the local church the same way a Christian married couple does. You are essentially a "lone" Christ follower. Your habits and routines are different. Your giving and commitments are different. Your spiritual cadence is different from the other couples. You feel so out-of-step with everyone else. Here is a post I wrote earlier that deals with some of those differences titled  Are You Missing In Action?

Depression is a valid emotion in the cycle of life. Don't let anyone tell you not to feel sad or depressed. You are a human being, not a robot.  However, you can "visit" depression on occasion - just don't take up permanent "residence" there.

In I Kings 19:1-18 we read about Elijah and his struggles with depression. After God miraculously displayed His divine power on Mount Carmel, Elijah withdrew into the desert armed with a death wish. He hid in a cave and wailed "woe is me" before accusing God of leaving him all alone to fight the heathen foreigners.

King David struggled with depression and feelings of intense sadness more than once. Some of his emotions had to do with blatant sin, while others dealt with fear and rejection. He often questioned God about the whole matter.

Here are some of David's heartfelt pleas:  Lord, how long will You look on? Rescue me from their destruction... (Psalm 35:17)  Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You. (Psalm 38:9)  Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? (Psalm 42:5)  Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You. (Psalm 57:1) Lord, I cry out to You; make haste to me! Give ear to my voice when I cry out to You. (Psalm 141:1)

It's okay to cry out to God and raise the question "Why?"

God already knows our struggles and fears. He sees down the road of uncertainty. He is aware of the pitfalls and traps laid by the enemy. He cannot be taken by surprise. Nothing is too difficult for Him to deal with.  So why do we fret and get ourselves so worked up over things we have little or no control over? What do we do with the intense feelings of sadness and heaviness that blanket our souls? How do we make sense of the heartache and sorrowful countenance?

Here are five possible reasons for your sadness...

1.  We are grieving the fact that our marriage partner isn't in sync with us spiritually. Believers have a spiritual discernment. We are instructed by the Spirit of God. Our unbelieving spouse can't grasp that concept and they are spiritually blind. Amos 3:3 declares, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"  And Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

2.  We are saddened by the thought that our best efforts haven't made a substantial difference in their spiritual conversion.  We have to be realistic here in our expectations. God is the one who draws unbelievers into fellowship with Himself. As Paul says in I Corinthians 3:6, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase."

3.  We have difficulty processing the fact that our marriage might never improve on the timetable or in the way we think it should. God has a specific plan for our marriage. He is never in a hurry, and He is never late. The important thing to remember is God wants to do what will bring Him the "most glory" with regards to our mate's salvation. God has given them His permissive "free will" to choose salvation or to reject it. Our place is to pray for their spiritual enlightenment. (Romans 10:20)

4.  We can't seem to grasp the thought of differences that may never be reconciled. One of the hardest things to do is to examine our own emotions and then take steps to deal with them honestly. My previous post  Can't We All Just Get Along?  has some great pointers to help you stay on track.

5.  We reluctantly recognize that depression may visit us for a season. We must come to grips with the fact that we will have good and bad days, ups and downs, highs and lows. Every marriage experiences "seasons" - and quite often they coincide with major life events, changes, challenges, and family dynamics that we have no control over. Our spouse will not always give us the support we long for. However, you can count on this: Jesus will never leave us or forsake us. (Joshua 1:5)

So how do we move forward and regain our spiritual footing?

Be practical and proactive. Start by doing the basics: eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. When you feel overwhelmed - take a deep breath and prioritize. Give yourself permission to process sadness and grief. Keep yourself centered on God's Word. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Reprogram your mind to think on "things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and virtuous" (Philippians 4:8).

Don't worry - and be happy might just be words from a popular song - but they also help to redirect your thoughts. Our Lord Jesus put it this way, "And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?" (Luke 12:25-26).

God will help you with your feelings of sadness and depression. Prayer and meditating on His Word brings comfort and security. God is our Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).

Stay well connected with Christian friends. Continue with your small group studies and church activities when you find yourself wanting to withdraw. We were meant to be part of a community of believers. Encourage one another and extend grace even when it is undeserved.

Each day begins with a clean slate. Every dawn holds new opportunities and possibilities. Today is a good day for a good day...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

 If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

 

 

5 Things to Consider in the Midst of Depression

If God Sent You a Valentine...

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentines didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840's by Esther A. Howland. (courtesy Wikipedia)

If God were to send you a Valentine what would it look like?

That is not a difficult question to answer if you are a Christian, for He has already given you one...  God's Word is His Valentine to you and me.  Not just any Valentine - but one that transcends our ability to grasp it's full impact.  God's Love Letter is given to us for all time and for all circumstances.  It is not limited to a special holiday.

God's requirement for us as His beloved is that we make Him our "first love" - wholly committed to Him. Our heart represents our core being.  Loving God with our whole heart means our affections must be focused foremost and fully on Him first. Only then can we love others with the love He loves us...

Love is the highest form of affection.  Agape love is the highest form of love according to God's Word. In your spiritually uneven marriage God wants to love your spouse through you, and that means even when you don't feel like it. 

It is the volition of your will that will direct your emotional response. Decide now that you will show your love by your actions.  Remember your vows:  to love and cherish, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health...  Loving your husband needs to be unconditional and intentional.

When I write these posts I can honestly say I am reinforcing my own need to hear this.  I write and read these blog articles for my own admonishment and encouragement! I too struggle with emotions and the up and down feelings that accompany any marriage - especially when you are spiritually mismatched.  There is often a disconnect - a drifting apart that occurs with regards to spiritual intimacy.

This Valentine's Day do something special for your mate. .Sure - give them candy hearts and a card. Make them their favorite meal and spend quality time together.  Then give them something unexpected..

Give them a look in the eye honest thank-you for all that you have been through together. Men desire - no, men need our respect and love. Tell them that you’d marry them all over again – that they are just what God designed for you! Reinforce that through your marriage, children, family issues, parents' deaths, surgeries, illnesses, moves, remodels, and lots of other LIFE events, that you are totally committed to them!

What has touched my heart more than anything else over the years has been a consistent hand-written note in every Valentine card I receive from my husband, telling me that he loves me, and thanking God for me. This is a gesture of love coming from a man who has yet to make Jesus Christ the Lord of his life. How blessed I am!

In the book of Ephesians Chapter 5 commands us to walk in love towards one another. The Apostle Paul is teaching on submitting to one another in the fear of God. Husbands are admonished to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. Wives are taught to respect their husbands. 

This portion of Scripture is not just for Christian marriages - but for all marriages. Our submission to Christ in our marriage is key to pleasing Him and our spouse.  You can visit a previous post I wrote on the subject of submission HERE .

Give your husband a Valentine straight from God's heart... give him love abounding from a grateful heart established in God's Word - full of peace and grace!

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

 If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

If God Sent You a Valentine...

New Year - New Opportunities!

 Just like Groundhog Day - it's a replay from the year before. The New Year and all the anticipation that it brings hangs in the balance...

But this past year was different. Our lives were turned upside down. We had to adjust to things that were not of our choosing or in our control...

We make resolutions, we start diets & exercise, we begin healthy habits and quit things that we've decided not to do anymore, all in an attempt to start afresh with a clean slate...

So - why do we feel like all the effort never pays off?  What can we do differently THIS YEAR to make our goals and dreams a reality?

Remember, you are in control of your own spiritual destiny with God.  It is a personal relationship between you and your Creator. Your mind, will, and emotions play an important part. Your volitional level involves your will (or willingness).  Your emotions and intellect carry out your desire. Make sure you aim for success by making the decision to follow through with your plans.  Here are a few tips to get you started...

First of all ---  Don't stress out!  God's Word declares His mercy and compassion are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).  When we fail (and we will) we know He is a God of fresh beginnings and second chances.  These are two of my favorites verses for encouragement:

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”  

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, go give you a future and a hope."

Secondly ---  Map out your overall strategy for the year ahead. Start out with small steps towards your goal. Keep reminding yourself that you're doing better than the previous year. Stay focused on the "big picture" and not on your failures. You will have setbacks and disappointments, so be ready for bumps in the road.  Thank God for your progress and ask Him to help you in your spiritual journey.

Thirdly ---  Keep on keeping on! Don't give up or let the enemy of your soul taunt you. Every day that you set your mind and affection on Jesus Christ is a winning day!  Bask in His Word, keep on praying, and stay in fellowship with other believers. Isolation is one of Satan's greatest weapons. Encourage yourself daily in the Lord.  Ask Him to help you succeed by producing good fruit in your spiritual life (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).

As we walk day by day through the year 2021, let us be comforted by this great hymn.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

   Leaning, leaning,

   Safe and secure from all alarms;

   Leaning, leaning,

   Leaning on the everlasting arms.

O, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

O, how bright the path grows from day to day,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,

Leaning on the everlasting arms?

I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

(Elisha Albright Hoffman)

In this New Year resolve to make forward progress with Christ:

As the Apostle Paul states in Philippians verse 13-14, “but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  

Enjoy two more of my favorite New Year's Eve posts from years past:

3 Steps to a New Year's Resolution You Can Keep

A Sure Foundation for the New Year

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

New Year - New Opportunities!

Holiday Expectations - Keeping It Real

 It’s that time of year when expectations run high… but they often don’t quite measure-up to reality. 

This holiday season is different for sure... Travel is being discouraged, gathering to share a meal with multi generations is frowned upon, and many do not have the additional resources to spare for lavish presents and overindulgences. 

We all have unmet expectations when it comes to Christmas.  

Now might be a good time to reevaluate what is really important this Christmas.  Faith, family and charity are my favorite things to focus on during this time of year. Here is my take on each of them:Christmas. 

FAITH -   Jesus is certainly the Reason for the Season. The babe in the manger born in Bethlehem came into this world to fulfill prophesy foretold long ago of a Savior – Christ the Lord.  He is our Prince of Peace during times of turmoil and uncertainty.  Jesus is the “indescribable gift” from the Father above.

(II Corinthians 9:15).

FAMILY -   Now there is a “loaded” subject.  We all have them, but sometimes we don't like them very much.  Often during family gatherings tensions arise between siblings, parents and children, and spouses.  Every family has their danger zone when it comes to relationship pitfalls.  Placing unrealistic expectations on your family can cause depression, anxiety, and anger.  Be sure bathe your holidays in prayer.  Extend grace where needed and use self-control liberally.

CHARITY -  Nothing makes you feel better than meeting a need and helping someone less fortunate than yourself.  Giving emulates the character of Jesus.  This is the season for gift giving and donating your time, energy and finances to worthy causes.  Share with others what the Lord has blessed you with. Remember, it is not the size of your gift – but the heart motive that matters.

Oftentimes family gatherings are a flashpoint for tensions.  

First of all - we likely don't have a perfect family - who does?  It might be stressful to deal with an ex-spouse or ex-in-laws.  Many people deal with new dynamics in a blended family. Things don’t always go as planned, so be sure to stay flexible and non-confrontational if possible.  Extend grace to others.  Don’t assume wrong motives.  Allow extra time for yourself in order to avoid a melt-down in the middle of cooking, cleaning and socializing with your extended family.  Ask others to help with food preparation, gift-wrapping, decorating and cleanup.

Give yourself permission to “let something go” that was on your to-do list without the guilt. Every year isn’t going to be a Norman Rockwell Christmas – and that is OKAY.   Recognize that not everyone is going to want to do what you want to do at Christmastime.  Give and take is essential with a large family as much as it is with a small one.  Feelings will get hurt and toes will get stepped on.  It’s OKAY.  Focus on the major things and don’t fret over the minor things.  Making memories that will last is honorable – but not at the expense of your sanity or your relationships.

Enjoy the journey. Keep your sanity by maintaining some boundaries.  Get plenty of rest, eat right, and exercise to keep yourself healthy and mentally balanced. Slow down...

Remember – JESUS is the Reason for the Season.  Everything else is just filler...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.   Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

 If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Holiday Expectations - Keeping It Real

The Virus God Saw Coming...

This is a  particularly worrisome time for all who can't help but see & hear the newscasts day in and day out regarding the Coronavirus disease (COVID-19)

But it is also a unique time in our history, one which presents a rare silver lining for Christians. We can use this as an opportunity to share our faith and hope in Jesus Christ.

There will be debates whether or not God allowed this sinister pandemic to occur in order to bring about His sovereign plan to unfold at this time in our nation's history. There will also be discussions on a litany of subjects related to end-time events and signs of the times as it relates to Christ's return.

One thing I know for sure:  God saw this virus coming... 

Nothing takes God by surprise. He is not "wringing His hands" and "shaking His head" because the virus is spreading globally. God is still on His Throne. He already sees the beginning of this crisis from the end. 

So what can we do in the meantime as we are faced with possible government imposed Martial Law? (you can read about it here if you are curious) Martial Law in the U.S.  How should we spend endless hours of self-quarantine in our homes? Can we still be productive and make a difference around us?

Some people have careers that allow them to work from home with little difficulty. Others have jobs that require them to be in close proximity to the public at large - whether they are in law enforcement, the medical field, or the food & home goods supply chain. Many simply won't be able to keep their jobs because their places of business have suspended operations or closed down temporarily.

If you are blessed to work part-time from home or still have children (or grandchildren) under your roof, then you might have some discretionary time like I do to be an "encourager from afar." This blog post is a small contribution I can make to the public at large. My little blog reaches across the globe with the click of a mouse. I know that the internet can play a vital role for those who are isolated - irregardless of this virus.

People are becoming more aware of their mortality and vulnerabilities. They are increasingly uneasy and are more afraid of the unknown. We all have some level of anxiety of what is yet to come. However, the Christian is in the unique position to spread God's truth and give a testimony for the "hope we have within us" (I Peter 3:15).

When we are in the midst of a crisis and face afflictions and suffering, first use it as a time of self-reflection. Then use what you have learned as a tool for ministering to others. Tell them why you have a relationship with Jesus Christ vs religion (I wrote a blog post about it here) Relationship with Jesus - Not Religion . Share your testimony. Explain to them why they need a Savior and a spiritual rebirth in order to be with God in heaven.  

In times of uncertainty you can still be an effective ambassador 

for Jesus Christ. Don't let fear rob you of your mission.

First, clothe yourself with humility

Second, divest yourself of anxiety and worry

Third, arm yourself with sobriety

Fourth, remind yourself of eternity

Remember, FEAR is an acronym for:  False Evidence Appearing Real.  Many times what we fear actually never comes to pass. As President Franklin D. Roosevelt said over the radio to millions of Americans in 1933, "You have nothing to fear but fear itself."  

Fear is a weapon Satan uses to immobilize the masses in a way that is debilitating and destructive. In Luke 12:32 Jesus said, "Do not fear..."  So how can we rise above that feeling and function in a healthy environment with those around us?

Here are three things from God's Word that you and I can take comfort in:

1.  God can be trusted in times of trouble
      Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."  

Number 23:19 says, "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?"  God is indeed trustworthy.

Corrie ten Boom said, "God has no problems, only plans."

2.  God will take care of us in times of trouble
      Psalm 91:9-11 says, "Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your habitation, no evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways."  I Peter 5:7 encourages us to, "...cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Martin Luther said the following, "Pray and let God worry."

3.  God will always be with us in times of trouble
      Joshua 1:9 declares, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Remember the three Hebrew youths Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego who were cast into the fiery furnace? Even Nebuchadnezzar acknowledged God's presence in Daniel 3:25, "Look! I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God."

Jesus Himself said, "...and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." 

(Matthew 28:20)

Take heart... God never sleeps nor slumbers (Psalms 121:3-4)  

He is still Sovereign over all - now and forever. 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The Virus God Saw Coming...

The Abigail Syndrome

When I became a Christian at the age of 33 yrs. old, I had already been married for seven years to my present husband. Neither of us went to church or were interested in the things of God.

As time went by, I began to grow more and more unsettled. I was a new creature in Christ.  I had new interests and desires.  I was growing in the Lord and was still an immature Christian who had much to learn. I became irritated with my husband when he didn't want to attend church with me. I even began thinking about what it would be like to be married to a Christian. Maybe I needed a new husband.

Living in an unequally-yoked marriage is difficult and lonely. You might not recognize the phrase "unequally-yoked". In marriage it refers to a husband and wife who are both non Christians. I have a  FAQ's  section on my website that addresses the issue.

Thank God He soon convicted me and stopped my flawed thinking before it was too late. He was revealing to me an idea I hadn't thought of. God could do the impossible. He could reach my husband for Christ and change his heart. He alone could draw him into a relationship and regenerate his very soul. I would get a new husband with the same man!

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife… For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?”  (I Corinthians 7: 14, 16)

Here is a little history lesson on Abigail and David:

After King David had commanded several successful military campaigns, he mercifully spared King Saul’s life in a cave in the region of En Gedi. David then journeyed into the wilderness of Paran following Samuel’s death and burial. Samuel had, under God’s direction, chosen and anointed David as the future King of Israel.

By this time David had already taken Saul’s daughter Michal as his wife; a gift from the King to David for a crushing defeat of the Philistines in exchange for his bride’s dowry, as vengeance on the King’s enemies. David and his men were in the wilderness when he heard that a man in Carmel named Nabel, whose sheep were being sheared, might have provisions for him and his young warriors (I Samuel 21-24).

Below is an excerpt from my book MISSION POSSIBLE  
Chapter 4   “The Abigail Syndrome”

Mission Possible is a book for women who are unequally-yoked in marriage. 

Using God's Word, it offers the reader hope and encouragement, 
while applying Biblical truths.

The traditional story of “Abigail” in I Samuel 25 is a familiar one. Abigail was married to Nabal, a man of means who treated her and everyone else like dirt. Though Nabal was descended from Caleb, he shared none of his virtues.  When King David heard that her husband Nabal reviled his men, he was ready to kill him and his household. Abigail went out to meet David with humility and gifts. David highly praised Abigail’s courage and advice. Nabal soon died upon hearing what took place after his drunken binge. Abigail became David’s wife when he proposed after learning of Nabal’s fate. Abigail would now reside with the King in a “fairy tale” ending.

Not so fast… Don’t be “caught up” in the Abigail syndrome. I believe God has a New Testament application for those of us who stand in the gap for our unbelieving husbands. Let’s look at what this passage does not represent: 

   We don’t pray that our husbands will “drop dead” so we can marry a believer as that would not be in God’s perfect will for us. Neither do we hope he’ll die from a heart attack to “pay him back” for his evil ways. God has a better plan. I believe this would be the God honoring scenario for the wife who believes for her husband’s salvation.

   Abigail was a woman of good understanding. (I Samuel 25:3). Godly wisdom and understanding promote knowing God’s will. Isaiah 11:2 is a picture of the Holy Spirit for us today:  “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon [us], the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” We must be in tune with what God would have us do with regards to our mate. Daily prayer and being in God’sWord helps us to know God’s will.

   Interestingly, when David sent his men to ask favor and provision from Nabal, he was indifferent and inquired: “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse?…Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat … and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” (I Samuel 25:10-11). Likewise, your husband, just as Nabal, doesn’t know the King yet.

   Often times it is difficult to tithe, attend every church service, or be at every Bible study or function because your husband doesn’t see a need for you to participate or share you with God. Be patient. He must see your commitment and desire to be with God’s people and in God’s presence.

   Nabal was a self-made man who was very prideful and greedy. Reading Jesus’ parable of the rich fool in Luke 12:16-20, we see similarities.  Nabal was not thankful for anything, nor recognized God’s hand of provision at all. Your husband may be “rich and full of worldly things.” His equating “good things & provision” to GOD are foreign. Only GOD can change his heart and priorities as you pray for his spiritual enlightenment (Ephesians 1:18). Pray for God to woo him by His Spirit into a curiosity and awareness of the things of God. 

 Unlike King David who planned to wipe out Nabal’s lineage, God has compassion and mercy on our spouses. He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). God wills that your spouse join you in “holy union.” The apostle Paul states in I Corinthians 7:14, 16 “for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife …for how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?” 

   When Abigail heard what Nabal had done, she quickly prepared an offering for King David. Our offering brought to our King is a humble heart, a willing & submissive spirit, and unwavering obedience. We intercede on our husband’s behalf by meeting the King of Kings.

   King David praised Abigail for her good sense and devotion:  “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you , because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed… unless you had hastened and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal” (I Samuel 25:32-34). David would have wiped out Nabal’s name but it was God’s desire to “promote a Godly lineage.” Abigail’s actions and attitude spared Nabal but Nabal didn’t recognize her sacrifice. Our sacrifice on our spouse’s behalf is unwavering faith and persistent prayers offered up to the Throne of Grace. GOD always takes notice of devotion!

 God cherishes the soul we carry to Him in love when it’s “one flesh” we seek.

You can visit my website  HERE  for information on
ordering a copy of  MISSION POSSIBLE.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The Abigail Syndrome

Is Exercise Really Good For Us?

As I begin to approach my mid-sixties, I am amazed at how quickly the last thirty years have flown by! I am the mother of an adult married son who is now a father to two darling children (my sweet grand kids), and I’m sharing our empty-nest full-time with a retired husband.

I was listening to a pastor’s message on the Christian radio station in my area, and heard a familiar verse that some have used in a humorous way: "exercise profits little".  But as I listened to his sermon, I began to hear and understand it in a whole new light.

I Timothy 4:8 says, “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having the promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.”

Another translation puts it this way:  "...physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things ..."

A brisk walk lowers blood pressure, lowers your cholesterol, and reduces stress on the body. Engaging in some form of regular physical exercise will generally add years to your lifespan. Exercise helps to reduce harmful chemicals in our bodies, and provides a form of abreaction (letting off steam), builds up stamina, counteracts the biochemical effects of stress, and reduces the risk of psychological illness.

I attend a local gym and wear a workout monitor belt using My Zone to track my physical exertion. It tracks your heart rate & is nearly equivalent to an EKG. It shows and rewards your effort (as a percentile) when you work out, as well as your calories burned. The intensity is displayed using color-coded zones. Time spent in each zone is converted into MyZone Effort Points (MEP's) which rewards you based on effort and not your fitness level.

As women of faith, our temples need to be strong and fit, for that is where the Holy Spirit resides. We might not accumulate MEP's, but we will certainly notice when our efforts are making a difference in our personal lives. Spiritual wellness is more important than the latest fad diet or workout routine.

Health and fitness are godly goals when they are balanced with common sense and right priority. In biblical times, physical exercise was not touted as necessary because people living in that time period generally walked everywhere and performed manual labor on a daily basis.

As Christians, sometimes we focus too much on programs, bible studies and the latest book craze for your prayer life or child rearing. All those things in and of themselves are  a good thing, but they shouldn't be the main thing. Our spiritual exercise should consist of reading the Holy scriptures, spending time thanking God and conversing with Him on a regular basis, and practicing our godliness in our everyday lives. Our family, friends and co-workers should see the fruit of our spiritual workouts.

Verse 7 prefaces the previous passage with the following, “…and exercise yourself rather to godliness.”

Spiritually speaking, when we exercise godliness through prayer, Bible study, and self-control, we keep our spiritual man [woman] healthy. But what good is it if we take care of the physical body, but neglect our spiritual woman and coddle our sinful nature?

The eternal value is mentioned in verse 8.  Paul makes it clear that whatever we are doing for the here and now is indeed profitable – even commendable, but that which is to come is of more value and lasting. Taking care of the spirit woman, which is incorruptible and lives forever, is far more important than maintaining a corruptible body that will slowly decay in this world.

Exercise is not my god, nor do I place my fate in its hands. Jesus is my God! Sure, I walk my dog every morning and I still go to the gym a few times a week to a Team workout class.  I make it a point to stay active, eat right, and get a good night’s sleep. But for me, keeping my spirit woman healthy and fit is a higher, God-ordained priority.


Let God speak to you about your “spiritual workout".  What type of changes could you make to minister to your spirit woman as you aim to better your physical woman?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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Is Exercise Really Good For Us?

Motherhood - How Relevant Are We?

A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take.   ~ Cardinal Mermillod

Do you feel as though you have no influence in your home?  Do you look around at your children and wonder if anything you’ve taught them actually permeated their minds and spirits?  The world would have you think so...

Are you even relevant to their success in a society that devalues Godly parenthood? Well, in God’s Eyes you certainly are!

There are moments I wish I could go “back in time” and change what I did or didn’t do.  There are things I should have done with my son, or times I should have taken ownership of a volatile situation or conversation.  I remember opportunities missed and instances where I just should have stood firm and said, “No!” 

We are not perfect Moms, though we strive to be.  We often wish our kids came with Owners Manuals.  I would have enjoyed a “free online Chat support” when I had a question, or perhaps a “pro-rated warranty” as they got older.  But wait - we have something even better – God’s Word and prayer! How many Moms have worn out knees and prayer journals full of petitions on behalf of their kids?  How many of us have purchased books like The New Strong Willed Child by James Dobson, or The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartin?  Let’s face it – we all need help; one way or another! So - how do our parenting skills compare to those in the Bible?

Here are two examples of motherhood in Scripture to contemplate:  

Eve and Jochebed 

They are both mothers of significance. They had children that shaped the future of mankind. Both women faced loss and eventual blessing.  Here are their stories…

First -  Genesis chapters 3 and 4 introduce us to Eve, the first mother.  Adam called her name Eve, because she was the mother of all living humans.  She conceived and bore Cain, and said, “I have gotten a man from the Lord.”  Cain worked in the fields and tilled the earth which yielded crops, of which he presented his sacrifice to the Lord.  She then bore Abel, the son who was loving and responsible, tending the flocks in the meadows.  Able and Cain each offered sacrifices to the Lord God.  However, Able’s sacrifice was accepted, and Cain’s was not.  Cain killed Abel in a jealous rage over what appeared to be God’s favoritism.  Cain was subsequently banished by God for shedding his brother’s blood. 

What loss and devastation Eve must have suffered!  Do you think she blamed herself for the tragedy they were now facing?  How could she go on after losing both sons?  We can only imagine how Eve must have felt when she heard God’s words ringing in her ears, “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children.”  She and Adam had been cursed by God after their disobedience.  Now that sorrow and pain were evidenced in the heartbreak Eve experienced.  The first mother on earth mourned one son who was now dead and the other who was never to be seen again. 

Eventually Adam and Eve conceived Seth, whose lineage began to “call on the name of the Lord” (Gen. 5).  Do you think Eve did things a bit differently in regards to child rearing the second time around?  I imagine she spent more time pouring herself into his little life – teaching him about God’s Goodness and about Godly character.  She and Adam most likely recanted how his two older siblings had lived, and what happened when God’s laws weren’t adhered to.  In God’s great mercy, their third son, Seth,  would provide the pathway to mankind’s salvation over many generations, which eventually culminated in the Lord Jesus Christ Himself (Luke 3).

Second - In Exodus 2 we are introduced to Jochebed, the daughter of Levi, born to him in Egypt.  She was the wife of Amram and was the mother of Aaron, Miriam and Moses.  Her courage and ingenuity saved her son Moses from the wicked mandate of Pharaoh to kill every male Israelite child.  She cleverly hid him for three months, before placing him among the reeds in a water-tight basket along the Nile River.

As she watched Miriam approach Pharaoh’s daughter, she must have been relieved to hear that she would be nursing and weaning the child herself before handing him over permanently.  Those few early years were no doubt full of Godly teaching and a loving example to that little Hebrew child.  Can you imagine the pain and sacrifice she endured as she watched her young son disappear into Pharaoh’s exotic palace to be raised as an Egyptian?

 I believe Jochebed was an important part of Moses’ life as a young child and into the reaches of adulthood.  She no doubt had an influence on his character, integrity and love for the Lord God of Israel.   She also raised Miriam (the eldest) and their brother Aaron, who appeared with Moses in front of the great Pharaoh of Egypt prior to releasing the children of Israel.  Were her children perfect?  No way.  They all displayed major character flaws.  All were reprimanded and punished by God for their disobedience.  However, all three witnessed God’s Sovereign power, deliverance and blessing in their lives and in their future destinies.

The whole of the matter is this:  Mothers have 

great influence over their children.

God’s Word is very clear on what we can do.  The book of Proverbs is rich in advice and practical wisdom.  Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  We must teach by example and pray for their spiritual growth.  We are to “watch over the ways of our household, and not remain idle” – but stay balanced as we lead our children into adulthood one step at a time.  May we look to our Heavenly Father for His guidance and strength.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Motherhood - How Relevant Are We?