5 Things to Consider in the Midst of Depression

 Sadness is an expression of grief or unhappiness. It often precedes a brief season of depression.

I am generally an upbeat, positive person. Cheerful, encouraging, and hopeful describe me most days.

So why do I find myself feeling so sad at times?  What causes me to well-up inside and become so despondent?  Why can't I control my emotions better - especially in the presence of other believers?

When you live in an unequally-yoked marriage, you feel like you just don't belong in the local church the same way a Christian married couple does. You are essentially a "lone" Christ follower. Your habits and routines are different. Your giving and commitments are different. Your spiritual cadence is different from the other couples. You feel so out-of-step with everyone else. Here is a post I wrote earlier that deals with some of those differences titled  Are You Missing In Action?

Depression is a valid emotion in the cycle of life. Don't let anyone tell you not to feel sad or depressed. You are a human being, not a robot.  However, you can "visit" depression on occasion - just don't take up permanent "residence" there.

In I Kings 19:1-18 we read about Elijah and his struggles with depression. After God miraculously displayed His divine power on Mount Carmel, Elijah withdrew into the desert armed with a death wish. He hid in a cave and wailed "woe is me" before accusing God of leaving him all alone to fight the heathen foreigners.

King David struggled with depression and feelings of intense sadness more than once. Some of his emotions had to do with blatant sin, while others dealt with fear and rejection. He often questioned God about the whole matter.

Here are some of David's heartfelt pleas:  Lord, how long will You look on? Rescue me from their destruction... (Psalm 35:17)  Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You. (Psalm 38:9)  Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? (Psalm 42:5)  Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You. (Psalm 57:1) Lord, I cry out to You; make haste to me! Give ear to my voice when I cry out to You. (Psalm 141:1)

It's okay to cry out to God and raise the question "Why?"

God already knows our struggles and fears. He sees down the road of uncertainty. He is aware of the pitfalls and traps laid by the enemy. He cannot be taken by surprise. Nothing is too difficult for Him to deal with.  So why do we fret and get ourselves so worked up over things we have little or no control over? What do we do with the intense feelings of sadness and heaviness that blanket our souls? How do we make sense of the heartache and sorrowful countenance?

Here are five possible reasons for your sadness...

1.  We are grieving the fact that our marriage partner isn't in sync with us spiritually. Believers have a spiritual discernment. We are instructed by the Spirit of God. Our unbelieving spouse can't grasp that concept and they are spiritually blind. Amos 3:3 declares, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"  And Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

2.  We are saddened by the thought that our best efforts haven't made a substantial difference in their spiritual conversion.  We have to be realistic here in our expectations. God is the one who draws unbelievers into fellowship with Himself. As Paul says in I Corinthians 3:6, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase."

3.  We have difficulty processing the fact that our marriage might never improve on the timetable or in the way we think it should. God has a specific plan for our marriage. He is never in a hurry, and He is never late. The important thing to remember is God wants to do what will bring Him the "most glory" with regards to our mate's salvation. God has given them His permissive "free will" to choose salvation or to reject it. Our place is to pray for their spiritual enlightenment. (Romans 10:20)

4.  We can't seem to grasp the thought of differences that may never be reconciled. One of the hardest things to do is to examine our own emotions and then take steps to deal with them honestly. My previous post  Can't We All Just Get Along?  has some great pointers to help you stay on track.

5.  We reluctantly recognize that depression may visit us for a season. We must come to grips with the fact that we will have good and bad days, ups and downs, highs and lows. Every marriage experiences "seasons" - and quite often they coincide with major life events, changes, challenges, and family dynamics that we have no control over. Our spouse will not always give us the support we long for. However, you can count on this: Jesus will never leave us or forsake us. (Joshua 1:5)

So how do we move forward and regain our spiritual footing?

Be practical and proactive. Start by doing the basics: eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. When you feel overwhelmed - take a deep breath and prioritize. Give yourself permission to process sadness and grief. Keep yourself centered on God's Word. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Reprogram your mind to think on "things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and virtuous" (Philippians 4:8).

Don't worry - and be happy might just be words from a popular song - but they also help to redirect your thoughts. Our Lord Jesus put it this way, "And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?" (Luke 12:25-26).

God will help you with your feelings of sadness and depression. Prayer and meditating on His Word brings comfort and security. God is our Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).

Stay well connected with Christian friends. Continue with your small group studies and church activities when you find yourself wanting to withdraw. We were meant to be part of a community of believers. Encourage one another and extend grace even when it is undeserved.

Each day begins with a clean slate. Every dawn holds new opportunities and possibilities. Today is a good day for a good day...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

 If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

 

 

5 Things to Consider in the Midst of Depression

MISSION POSSIBLE - Resource for those in a Spiritually Uneven Marriage

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy…For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband whether you will save your wife?”   

(I Corinthians 7:14, 16)

Living in an unequally-yoked marriage is a challenge at best...  It is a real-life dilemma that requires great patience, understanding, and perseverance.

MISSION POSSIBLE  was written to encourage and enlighten women (and men) who are living in  a spiritually uneven marriage. The book is in an easy-to-read format with Bible study questions at the end of each chapter for enrichment and personal reflection.

I wanted to re-introduce this valuable resource to those who might not have heard about it before. I am determined to continue to spread the word to women who need help and hope in this vital area of ministry. Below is an intro to my book  MISSION POSSIBLE.

Women, are you in an unequally-yoked marriage?  Are you tired of attending church alone? Do you yearn for a relationship with your husband that’s spiritually satisfying?  You can influence your home for Christ even within a spiritually mismatched marriage.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to stand in the gap for your mate’s soul. This small book is a powerful tool for any woman who is married to a man who does not share her passion for Jesus. It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.

  

Everyone has at least ONE friend who needs this book! In Mission Possible you will:

-- Discover how to believe with radical faith for your spouse’s salvation.

-- Learn the secret to “staying the course” while you wait for your promise.

-- Find out why many women don’t like to share their “secret sorrow”.

-- Overcome your own fears and doubts about your husband’s future with God.

-- Join other women in the knowledge that God has a perfect plan of unity for you

   and your spouse.

MISSION POSSIBLE  was awarded the 2010 Gold Seal Best Book in the Christian Non-Fiction category on Readers Favorite. 

You can purchase MISSION POSSIBLE on Amazon (paperback and Kindle) or on Smashwords as an e-book in a variety of formats for popular e-Readers.

I have also had my Website completely revamped and redesigned for optimal viewing on all devices including desktops, tablets and mobile devices.  Please check it out and share with others who need hope and help in their spiritually mismatched marriage. 

Visit  Godmissionpossible  or  Spirituallyunevenmarriage   to view the website.  

I especially love the  Social Media Wall.  Let me know what you think!

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

MISSION POSSIBLE - Resource for those in a Spiritually Uneven Marriage

The ABIGAIL SYNDROME - What not to do

Do you feel that if you could just "dump" your husband, everything would be okay?

Not - really... Being unequally yoked in marriage is difficult most days and near impossible other days. Is he the real reason you can't serve God how you'd like to? Suppose you could just go back in time and redo the whole marriage thing. I'm talking about after you became a Christian.  There are many of us that came to faith in Jesus Christ later on in our marriage. If we were honest, many of us would say "YES" to the redo, but that would be erroneous and sinful wouldn't it?

When I became a Christian at 33 yrs. old, I had already been married for seven years. As time went by I began to grow more and more unsettled. I was a new creature in Christ. I had new interests and desires. But God stopped my flawed thinking and convicted me of what I was plotting. I believe God told me I would get a new husband with the same man!

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife…For how do you know, 

O wife, whether you will save your husband?” (I Corinthians 7: 14, 16)

And now a little background history on Abigail and David:

After King David had commanded several successful military campaigns, he mercifully spared King Saul’s life in a cave in the region of En Gedi. David then journeyed into the wilderness of Paran following Samuel’s death and burial. Samuel had, under God’s direction, chosen and anointed David as the future King of Israel.

By this time David had already taken Saul’s daughter Michal as his wife; a gift from the King to David for a crushing defeat of the Philistines in exchange for his bride’s dowry, as vengeance on the King’s enemies. David and his men were in the wilderness when he heard that a man in Carmel named Nabel, whose sheep were being sheared, might have provisions for him and his young warriors (I Samuel 21-24).

Here is an excerpt from my book  MISSION POSSIBLE - Chapter 4 "The Abigail Syndrome".  Mission Possible is a book for women who are unequally-yoked in marriage. Using God's Word, it offers the reader hope and encouragement, while applying Biblical truths.

The traditional story of Abigail in I Samuel 25 is a familiar one. Abigail was married to Nabal, a man of means who treated her and everyone else like dirt. Though Nabal was descended from Caleb, he shared none of his virtues. When King David heard that her husband Nabal reviled his men, he was ready to kill him and his household. Abigail went out to meet David with humility and gifts. David highly praised Abigail’s courage and advice. Nabal soon died upon hearing what took place after his drunken binge. Abigail became David’s wife when he proposed after learning of Nabal’s fate. Abigail would now reside with the King in a “fairy tale” ending.

Not so fast… Don’t be “caught up” in the Abigail syndrome. I believe God has a New Testament application for those of us who stand in the gap for our unbelieving husbands. Let’s look at what this passage does not represent:

We don’t pray that our husbands will “drop dead” so we can marry a believer as that would not be in God’s perfect will for us. Neither do we hope he’ll die from a heart attack to “pay him back” for his evil ways. God has a better plan. I believe this would be the God honoring scenario for the wife who believes for her husband’s salvation.

Abigail was a woman of good understanding. (I Samuel 25:3). Godly wisdom and understanding promote knowing God’s will. Isaiah 11:2 is a picture of the Holy Spirit for us today: “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon [us], the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” We must be in tune with what God would have us do with regards to our mate. Daily prayer and being in God’sWord helps us to know God’s will.

Interestingly, when David sent his men to ask favor and provision from Nabal, he was indifferent and inquired: “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse?…Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat … and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” (I Samuel 25:10-11). Likewise, your husband, just as Nabal, doesn’t know the King yet.

Often times it is difficult to tithe, attend every church service, or be at every Bible study or function because your husband doesn’t see a need for you to participate or share you with God. Be patient. He must see your commitment and desire to be with God’s people and in God’s presence.

Nabal was a self-made man who was very prideful and greedy. Reading Jesus’ parable of the rich fool in Luke 12:16-20, we see similarities. Nabal was not thankful for anything, nor recognized God’s hand of provision at all. Your husband may be “rich and full of worldly things.” His equating “good things & provision” to GOD are foreign. Only GOD can change his heart and priorities as you pray for his spiritual enlightenment (Ephesians 1:18). Pray for God to woo him by His Spirit into a curiosity and awareness of the things of God.

Unlike King David who planned to wipe out Nabal’s lineage, God has compassion and mercy on our spouses. He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). God wills that your spouse join you in “holy union.” The apostle Paul states in I Corinthians 7:14, 16 “for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife …for how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?”

When Abigail heard what Nabal had done, she quickly prepared an offering for King David. Our offering brought to our King is a humble heart, a willing & submissive spirit, and unwavering obedience. We intercede on our husband’s behalf by meeting the King of Kings.

King David praised Abigail for her good sense and devotion: “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you , because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed… unless you had hastened and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal” (I Samuel 25:32-34). David would have wiped out Nabal’s name but it was God’s desire to “promote a Godly lineage.” Abigail’s actions and attitude spared Nabal but Nabal didn’t recognize her sacrifice. Our sacrifice on our spouse’s behalf is unwavering faith and persistent prayers offered up to the Throne of Grace. GOD always takes notice of devotion!

Copyright © Deborah McCarragher and God Mission Possible, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this Blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Deborah McCarragher and/or God Mission Possible with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. All guest content remains the property of the appropriate author - any reproduction is strictly prohibited without their prior written approval.

How would God have you treat your spouse? What would He have you do to honor your vows before God - even though your husband isn't a Christian yet?  Share with me your experiences in marriage that might mirror that of Abigail's petition before the king.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The ABIGAIL SYNDROME - What not to do

3 Things We Know About God's Love

Valentine's Day often reminds us of why we love someone...

Those we love capture our hearts. They can arouse strong feelings of joy, pride, and deep devotion.

Love is a verb - it is passionate, purposeful and continual.  The Apostle Paul describes love for us in I Corinthians 13:4-8.  Biblical love has many important characteristics that are often contrary to what society tells us about love.

What defines love for you? Who is the recipient of your affection? It could be your "first love" or perhaps your very best friend. It might be someone in your family like a spouse, a child, a parent or a sibling.

God's Word is His "Love Letter" to us. 

So - what does it have to say about His love?

1.   God's love is sacrificial

      In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  (I John 4:10)

2.   God's love is relational

      As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.  (John 15:9)

3.   God's love is eternal
      The Lord has appeared of old to me saying: Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.  (Jeremiah 31:3)

Enjoy some Valentine's Day "Favorite Past Posts"

Be My First Love

The Love Boat - Don't Miss It

Love Isn't Just for Valentine's Day

How do I love Thee, Lord Jesus?

1.    He demonstrated His own love toward me, that while I was still a sinner, 

Christ died for me (Romans 5:8).

2.    For God so loved the world (me) that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever 
believed in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

3.    For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for me, that I might become the 

righteousness of God in Him (II Corinthians 5:21).

4.    Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on me, that I 

should be called a child of God (I John 3:1).

5.    By this I know love, because He laid down His life for me (I John 3:16).

6.    But the Lord is faithful, who will establish me and guard me from the evil one (II Thess.3:3).

7.    He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was 

manifest in these last times for me (I Peter 1:20).

8.    For I was like a sheep going astray, but have now returned to the 

Shepherd and Overseer of my soul (I Peter 2:25).

9.    For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring me to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit (I Peter 3:18).

10.    I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God 

while I have my being (Psalm 104:33).

Celebrate this Valentine's Day knowing your Heavenly Father 

loves and embraces you just the way your are!

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

3 Things We Know About God's Love

Five Things We Can Learn From the Resurrection Aftermath

Resurrection Sunday has come and gone. Christians world-wide celebrated the fact that Jesus’ power was on full display as He overcame death.

In the natural realm, what would the empty tomb represent?  "Empty" denotes void, barren, forsaken, depleted, and lacking. 

The disciples had just witnessed a level of devastation and grief they most likely never knew before. They were confused, lost, and scared....

For some, emptiness represents unfulfilled dreams, dashed hopes, and unmet expectations.  

Do you have an empty place in your life that requires a miracle?  Is your marriage on the verge of a collapse?  Is your child wayward and faltering in the world?  Do you struggle with acute physical pain and limitations?  Jesus can minister to you in whatever circumstances you face in life.

Here are five things we can learn from those closest to Jesus after the resurrection...  (John 20, 21; Luke 24; Mark 16)

1.  Our expectations are not always met.

When Mary approached Jesus' tomb she wasn’t expecting it to be empty. She had come with the other women bearing spices in order to anoint Jesus' body. The thought of a bodily resurrection had not crossed her mind - not yet of course.

2.  We generally don’t like surprises. 

We like things to stay relatively calm and predictable. Mary had already had her world turned upside down. Now she was fretting over the fact that her Lord was missing.

      3.  We often don’t recognize what is right in front of us.

Mary mistook Jesus for the gardener. Her grief and pain clouded her perception. It wasn't until Jesus called out her name that she realized it was indeed Him. She didn't expect to receive that level of personal tenderness and compassion in her fragile state.

4.  We have an inherent propensity to doubt.

Thomas was missing in action when Jesus presented Himself to the disciples. We don't know why he wasn't there - but he wasn't buying any part of their story. He put conditions on his belief and lacked faith in their eyewitness account. He was in effect saying, "prove it!".

       5.  We frequently go back to old habits.

Peter had been in that empty tomb. He knew Jesus was raised from the dead. He saw Jesus when they had assembled in prayer and He showed Himself to them. Days later, Peter was feeling somewhat dejected and told the others he was going fishing. They also went with him, and after fishing all night, caught nothing... just as it was when Jesus found him on the shores of Lake Gennesaret.

So what does all of this have to do with us?  Well... everything. 

We often struggle when we forget that Jesus is alive and still in control.  How can we be so ignorant of those facts when His Word is replete with encouragement and hope?

The examples above end in victory for each one of them. They all became overcomers through the power and person of Jesus Christ. He will do the same for you.

Here is another post from the past to encourage you:   Turn Your Devastation Into Regeneration

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Five Things We Can Learn From the Resurrection Aftermath

This is the Year of Reconciliation

Here is an age-old question to ponder: "Does man seek God or does God seek man?"

Romans 3:11 says this, "There is none who seeks after God."   Isaiah 65:1 declares, "I was sought by those who did not ask for Me; I was found by those who did not seek Me."

As in Paradise, God walks in the Holy Scriptures, seeking man...  Ambrose

Paul knew firsthand what it was like to be pursued by God. There are no obstacles that can thwart God's advance.  He seeks and saves those who are lost. (Matthew 18:11)

When you are in an unequally-yoked marriage, you often wonder if your spouse will ever accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior.  Years may go by with little evidence of change...

In my book  MISSION POSSIBLE  Chapter 5 - Timing is Everything!  I have a passage that speaks to this very dilemma:

     In the natural realm, Jesus is with your spouse - He just isn't recognized by him yet. Your spouse died in sin and now Jesus wants to resurrect him.  I Corinthians 2:14 says, "But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."  Death can be the gateway to life for your husband!                     (Copyright 2010-2016)

There are numerous Bible passages in the New Testament that clearly show God pursues us in love. Your spouse may not respond the way you would like him to, or in your timing, but take heart - God is longsuffering, not willing that anyone should perish (2 Peter 3:9).  James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..."  Lastly, Jesus Himself says in Revelation 3:20, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me."

Pray that your spouse will hear the call of God and answer it. Pray that their eyes would be open to the things of God. Pray for reconciliation between them and their Creator.

Finally, Paul makes this abundantly clear in 2 Corinthians 5:18-21, "All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

We have a weighty responsibility towards our unsaved spouse. Your "MISSION" is to stand in the gap for your spouse. As this new year unfolds - make a commitment to enhance your personal relationship with Jesus Christ in a new and fresh way.  Here's a blog post I wrote last year that will give you a head start...

3...2...1... Happy New Year!

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

This is the Year of Reconciliation

The Potter, the Clay and the Outcome...

       clay            lump             speed           

            whirling               pressure         

impression          shaping           carve      
           
         band             stop              glaze             

                fire           rest            use

Is this a picture of your spiritual life?  Has the Master Potter spent considerable time and effort on your vessel?  Do you know for what purpose you were created? 

Wikipedia has this definition:  Pottery is made by forming clay into objects of a required shape and heating them to high temperatures in a kiln or oven to induce reactions that lead to permanent changes including increasing their strength and setting their shape. 

Wow - did you just grasp what that said?  Christ is forming us [clay] into objects of a certain shape and purpose [of His choosing] and heating us to induce reactions [purifying us] that lead to permanent change [new creation] in order to increase our strength and permanent use [for His Glory].

Our Potter determines what material, what shape, what purpose, and what prominence we have in His Kingdom.  We are clay formed from the dust of this world into a vessel of honor for our Potter’s honor and glory.  Ephesians 2:10 declare, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works…”

In his devotional My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers says this concerning our vision of what our reality should be according to our own inclination:

     “We always have visions, before a thing is made real…God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way… Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don’t lose heart in the process.”

Chapter 18 in the book of Jeremiah contains the famous passage of the potter and the clay.  Jeremiah was lamenting and admonishing Israel about their grievous sin and idolatry.  He stood in the gates of Jerusalem proclaiming God’s words of warning to a stiff-necked people.  During this time the Lord spoke to Jeremiah and said, “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.”  

When Jeremiah visited his house he observed him making something at the wheel.  Jeremiah says in verses 4-6, “And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter, so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make. Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: ‘O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?’ says the Lord. ‘Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel?’”

This  pottery “factory” in Palestine (mentioned in Jeremiah 18) was in the Valley of Hinnom near the Potsherd Gate and near the tower of the furnaces or pottery kilns (Nehemiah 3:11; 12:38).   Potter’s clay was made by “weathering” the dry native clay-dust or the wet stream-bank clay before treading it by foot for use in making cooking vessels and water pots.  Often the clay was hand-kneaded several hours in order to remove all of the air bubbles before working with it on the wheel.  After it dried to a leathery consistency, the vessel would be returned to the wheel for turning, cutting and paring off excess clay.  It was then beautified with a variety of tools and techniques before having a “slip” coat for color or sheen.  Finally, it was “fired” by heating it in an open fire or in a kiln and later removed for cooling.

In our marriages we must remember that our Potter created us to be unique.  His process differs from one vessel to another. He knows just how to make us so we will fit into our particular family unit.  Our clay may have been tread on for a longer period of time. Our kneading might have lasted a little longer than someone else.  We may possess a different color or texture than the next vessel.  We might have been whirled and whirled and stretched longer and harder.  Maybe we were beveled or poked or intricately cut more than the others. Finally – just when we thought we couldn’t take one more second in that intense heat – we are removed. Now we wait… and wait… and wait as we sit and cool. Our Potter knows best.

God formed Adam from the “dust” in Genesis 2:7, and we are likened to the potter’s creation as found in Job 10:8-9, “Your hands have made me and fashioned me, an intricate unity; Yet You would destroy me. Remember, I pray, that You have made me like clay.”  And in Isaiah 29:16 we read of God’s reply to him saying, “Surely you have things turned around! Shall the potter be esteemed as the clay; for shall the thing made say of Him who made it, ‘He did not make me?’ Or shall the thing formed say of Him who formed it, ‘He has no understanding?’”

Paul makes a similar plea to the Romans in Chapter 9:20-21.  He states, “But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to Him who formed it, ‘Why have you made me like this?’  Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make one vessel for honor and another for dishonor?” Who are we to complain or self-determine with what or how we will serve Him?

I have finally given up trying to analyze how I was formed and how I will be used. I am coming to peace with myself and my Potter. There are times when I simply don’t grasp His methods or timing.  But this I know: as He was with the three Hebrew youth in the fiery furnace, so will the Lord be with you (Daniel 3:25).

Below is one of my favorite worship songs of all time - The Potter’s Hand by Darlene Zschech of Hillsong.  One of the repeated lyrics is, “Take me; mold me; use me; fill me. I give my life to the Potter’s Hand.”

“Click on Play” and let it minister to you as you continue to browse online or work on your computer. It’s a magnificent outpouring of our love to the Master Potter…

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The Potter, the Clay and the Outcome...

The Biggest Loser Isn't Always Better

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Forgiveness is a difficult concept to embrace. It calls for the release of resentment. It pardons an offense. It gives up its claim for retaliation. It grants relief from a debt owed.

So why do we struggle so much with forgiveness? One obvious reason is that we don't want to relinquish our control over an emotion that makes us venerable. 

During your marriage you will have decisions to make regarding forgiveness. Some will be easy. Others will not be so easy. They can range from trust issues to belittling comments, from embarrassment to indifference. Reasons for extending forgiveness are as varied and diversified as the human beings they represent. There are times we extend forgiveness at the drop of a hat. Then again, we might choose to hold onto hurt feelings and withhold forgiveness as some manipulative maneuver to gain control. 

Here is a link to a Blog post I wrote concerning criticism  Check Your Eye - I See a Speck

We know the world has it's own definition, but what does God's Word say about forgiveness?

Following the model prayer in Matthew 6, Jesus said this, "For if you forgive men this trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Paul writes the following in Colossians 3:12-14 regarding your new creation in Christ: "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

Lastly, in Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus teaches Peter and the rest of the disciples about forgiveness in the parable of the unjust servant and his master. Not only did Jesus tell Peter that he should forgive others up to seventy times seven (indefinitely) - but that He would judge each of them who does not forgive from his heart anyone who had trespassed against his brother.

A wise man once said this:  "He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass."

Remember to "take every thought captive, unto the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5). Pray and ask God to realign your will with His. Ask Him to do a refining work in you. Forgiveness is a choice that you must exercise - both in the spiritual and natural realms. God will do miracles in your marriage when you learn to forgive as Christ forgave you, and as you model the grace and humility embodied in a Christ follower.

Here is a link to a post I wrote on putting on your armor  Are You Properly Dressed for Battle?

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget," is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive."  ~Anonymous

In Matthew 10:39 Jesus said, "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."  Losing your claim to your own sense of justification will bring freedom and release from the prison of unforgiveness. 

Ultimately, you are the loser  if you do not deal with an unforgiving spirit. You must "give up" your right to your own feelings and place them in the loving and capable hands of the Lord. He will prepare your heart for the gift of forgiveness and will enable you to extend it to others...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The Biggest Loser Isn't Always Better