God does not stipulate that my husband must be a believer
to be respected.
“Familiarity breeds contempt” is something you might say if you know someone very well or you experience something frequently. That contempt might be shown in your attitude if you stop respecting them.
Our body language is one such thing that can speak volumes to our spouse about our lack of respect.
This is the conclusion of the matter: I was wrong in how I handled the whole dilemma.
God expects me to
reverence and honor my husband in my actions, words and thoughts, no matter the circumstance. Ouch!
If you missed the previous post you can read it here: PART 1
If you missed the previous post you can read it here: PART 1
“Familiarity breeds contempt” is something you might say if you know someone very well or you experience something frequently. That contempt might be shown in your attitude if you stop respecting them.
Our body language is one such thing that can speak volumes to our spouse about our lack of respect.
The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:33,
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as
himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Genesis 3:1-24 gives us the behind the scenes narrative of Adam and Eve's fall from grace. Back in the garden Eve exerted influence that was
misused and it harmed her and Adam’s standing with each other and with
God. Her “desire” was to lead their
relationship. She had exhibited a lack of respect by not submitting to his
God-given authority in their marriage. Now
God was instructing her that Adam would take on that role and lead in their
marriage.
Respect for your husband ignites the fire within his
spirit man to enable him to love you in a God-ordained way.
“Out of respect
for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and
support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.” Ephesians 5:22 [The MESSAGE]
I Peter 3:1-2 tells us that even when an unbelieving
spouse does not obey God’s Word, they may be won over to God “by the conduct of
their wives, when they observe your chase conduct accompanied by fear” [respect].
Can you think of a time when you blatantly disrespected your spouse? Did God lovingly "correct" you and have you genuinely repent? How did your spouse respond?
Can you think of a time when you blatantly disrespected your spouse? Did God lovingly "correct" you and have you genuinely repent? How did your spouse respond?
The “love chapter” in I Corinthians 13:1-13 teaches us how God’s love shown through us to others can make an impact in all
relationships we are in (e.g. husband and wife, parent and child,
siblings). As we mature in Christ, we
must put away the childish things. Many
times those things are the perception that we have the right to be right, thinking we are justified in
our words or actions, and feeling like we are the victim in our circumstances.
The Lord gently and methodically showed me my
venerability in parenting. I was showing
preference within my family relationships that was unhealthy and potentially
damaging to my marriage. He allowed me
to view my behavior as rude and provoking.
I had been “puffed up” in my thinking and was not showing love and
understanding for my mate’s position in the matter.
I had violated much of what Paul spoke of in the very
verses I read during devotionals on countless occasions. I Corinthians 13 can attest to what our love walk should look like. I was not showing love when I yelled at my
husband that evening.
This is the conclusion of the matter: I was wrong in how I handled the whole dilemma.
As my husband got more irritated during the
day and into the evening, I should have affirmed his feelings and his lingering
anger at our son’s irresponsibility.
However, I also should have communicated to him that we have all had
days that just didn’t work out the way we thought they would. Grace should have been extended to all
parties, and I needed to keep my emotions in check without making a critical
error in judgment.
I have confessed my behavior and manipulations to the
Lord, and I have released my resentment towards my husband to Him as well. I want to please God and show the respect my
husband is due – no matter what the outcome is for me. God has that covered. I need to trust in His Sovereignty and let
Him work out the details.
I was also reminded [by the Lord] that our son observed my outburst, and that can have an effect on his future relationships. He knows I am a Christian in a spiritually mismatched marriage. I am to model Christ's behavior and leave
the results with Him. I don’t need to
insert my flawed thinking into the mix.
I need to trust and obey. I need
to relinquish my rights to my own feelings of being justified and God will
convict my husband of his shortcomings.
There is only one thing more painful than learning from
experience, and that is not learning
from experience. ~Anonymous
Deborah
is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is
written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their
passion. It will encourage and challenge
the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.
If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to
share it with others.
Great conclusion, Deborah! So glad our God is so merciful and so redeeming. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Dineen. Ah - so many times I have thanked the Lord for His unending love and redemption. :)
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