Showing posts with label disagreements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disagreements. Show all posts

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Can't We All Just Get Along?


“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

Don’t you just hate to be in the middle of a conflict? Or how about living in a home where there is strife and tension? I don’t know about you, but I desperately want to live in a tranquil environment.  I admit it – when all is said and done, I’m a peacemaker!

That being said, I realize I can’t always control my surroundings, but I surely have a pivotal role to play in how I relate to others when peace becomes elusive.  But what happens when peace is lacking in our family, personal and work relationships?  How is it possible to keep the peace then?

When we endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3), we have done so without offending God and wounding our conscience.  

We have a dire responsibility –a holy charge if you will – to be at peace with all men, but especially in the Lord’s house.  This charge conveys the urgency of nothing being left undone on our part, in order to preserve that peace.   If you want to focus your worship on God, you’ll have to make peace with your fellow man.  

In Matthew 5:23 Jesus says, “Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way.  First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”  He declared that when you are rightly related to God, you will do things differently from the world’s ways.  Jesus had just taught the famous sermon on the mount to the multitudes that surrounded Him on the hillside, including the beatitude; “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.”

Why are the peacemakers blessed?  Because they are submitted to God – under His mighty hand – useful for the Kingdom. They have rightly rejected their right to their own way.  They have peaceably humbled themselves unto God (James 4).

Hebrews 12:14 instructs us to, “Pursue peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…” 

Peace and holiness go hand in hand.  Proverbs 4:23 declares, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”   Psalm 24 says, only “he who has clean hands and a pure heart” can stand in the presence of God.

Preserving peace often entails a sacrifice on your part.  Sometimes it means “biting your tongue” and swallowing unpleasant words to keep from spewing them out.  We are told to impart grace to the hearers (Ephesians 4:29), and season our speech with salt, knowing how to answer those who are curious about our walk with the Lord, thus encouraging dialog in a peaceful manner.  Remember, we are still a “work in progress” and in the process of sanctification.

In the book of Romans, Paul addresses the believers in Rome concerning their Christian duty to God, to themselves, and to their fellow man.  After teaching on the believer’s position in Christ, he exhorts them to live a transformed life, thus bringing glory to God.  Beginning in Chapter 12, verse 1, Paul pleads with them to lay down their lives on the altar, as it were, for the sake of Christ.  By giving over their own bodies as sacrifices, they would relinquish any right to their own destiny or desires.  Their offering is purely voluntary, and thus, honoring to God.

The great bible commentator, Matthew Henry had this to say about the Romans passage: “Study the things that make for peace... peace without purity is the peace of the devil’s palace.”

Faith and patience will enable you to follow after peace and holiness.  Be sure to never discard a conviction, if God brings to mind something that He wants you to do to foster peace in a situation.  Don’t have an obstinate attitude – realize that you will be held accountable to God for dismissing a perfectly good solution to “making peace” with your brother.

Finally, here are four (4) brief things to keep in mind with regards to living in peace…

Don’t be judgmental
Pick your battles wisely
Look for common ground
Always defer to the Holy Spirit’s leading




Remember, others are depending on you to be a peacemaker… If you are God’s child, you have all you need to be successful within God’s sovereign plan.  Make it a point to do all you can to foster true peace, that your spouse would recognize your efforts and God would receive all the glory!








Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

Share/Bookmark

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Anger Management God's Way

Why can't you act civil?  Don't talk to me that way! Didn't you hear what I said?  I'm not yelling... I'm making a point!

How often do conversations and remarks get out of hand at your house?  If you're in a spiritually uneven marriage things can escalate rapidly.  What happens when you just don't see eye to eye?  I don't necessarily expect you to answer me - but I do know one thing...we all lose our tempers and react instead of acting with self-control.

Anger is a menacing thing - it simmers and stews and boils over.  It produces toxic poisons that seep into a relationship unless you take measures to stop it. There are many Scriptures concerning anger. Here's a sampling of them:

It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army. ~Solomon (Proverbs 16:32)

A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 25:28)

A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 29:11)

Self-control means controlling the tongue! A quick retort can ruin everything.   ~Solomon (Proverbs 13:3)

A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 14:29)

A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.  ~Solomon (Proverbs 15:1)

If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun to down with you still angry - get over it quickly;  for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.  ~Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.  ~Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:31)

(All Scripture quoted is from The Living Bible - TLB)

Whether you are in a Christian marriage or in an unequally-yoked marriage, if you are a child of the King, you possess a different set of anger management skills than a non-believer.  God has equipped you with Spiritual sensitivity and an important component of your fruit of the Spirit; namely self-control.  

The Apostle Paul lists self-control last in the fruit array - but certainly not least (Galatians 5:22-23).  This particular quality enables the believer to mentally "pause in the heavenlies" before acting out in the flesh.  Christ in us provides us with a check in our Spirit man and the power to overcome our flesh in a time of weakness. Simon Peter writes in his epistle about our growth in the Lord, citing self-control as one of the keys to being fruitful in your walk in and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ (II Peter 1:5-8).

 So - what do you intend to do with your your anger?  How about no retaliation?  How about bury it in the sea of forgetfulness?  How about trading it in for constraint? 


Below is an excerpt from Mission Possible - Chapter 4 ~ Painful Reality

 "Many times, in discouragement I would say, "God, I can't do this anymore; I'm too tired."  Then I would hear God speak to my heart, "Yes, I know you are...just rest in Me and leave this at My altar.  My grace is sufficient for you...My strength is made perfect in your weakness" (II Corinthians 12:9).  He would say "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden [weary], and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Verse 29 specifically says "rest for your souls." 

When you are weary from the battle and tired of the struggles in your marriage, what Bible verse brings you guidance and comfort?









Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Share/Bookmark

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Feed Shark