Amazing love... How can it be? A Resurrection Gift...

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain?
For me, who Him to death pursued?

   Amazing love! how can it be
   That Thou, my Lord, shouldst die for me?
                      [Charles Wesley  1780]

She was freed from seven devils by the power of Jesus, and she joined the women who accompanied the disciples. She was from Magdala, on the Southwest coast of the Sea of Galilee. 

She could not comprehend how this Prophet whom the disciples called "The Son of God" would show her such unmerited kindness and mercy.  How could she ever repay Him?

She remembered how Simon Peter spoke of a parable that Jesus taught of two debtors, saying, "There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?"  Simon answered Him and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more."  And Jesus said to him, "You have rightly judged."  

Jesus spoke this parable of the women who had anointed His feet with a costly flask of fragrant oil during dinner in a Pharisee's house. He continued the parable, saying to Simon and the others, "Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.  But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little."

She watched as the Lord and His disciples traveled throughout Galilee and the surrounding area performing miracles and ministering to the masses.  She observed firsthand how the crowds grew in anticipation of a conquering King. Then they began to fall away when their expectations did not materialize.  

Who was this Jesus Who had commanded the demons to flee and the Spirit of God to come into her heart? 

Mary recalled that He often withdrew privately to pray to His Father.  She reminisced how He taught with authority and wisdom, confounding the lawyers and Pharisees.  He had preached to all who would listen, often late into the day. She and the others frequently heard the parables Jesus shared as He instructed the people in the ways of righteousness and Kingdom living.

Then she relived the horrors of the days leading up to His crucifixion with the criminals. She recalled the humiliation and pain, and the gore that surrounded His death. Her tears and those of His mother Mary, as well as the other women who witnessed the Roman punishment, had been bitter and frequent since that fateful day.  

When Joseph of Arimathea and Nichodemus secured His body from Pilate, they took the strips of linen with the spices, as was the custom of the Jews, and prepared Him for burial.  Mary also went with the wife of Clopas (Mary) and Salome the mother of James and John with additional spices to the tomb to pay homage to the slain Son of God..

On the Sabbath - the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning while it was still dark. As she stood there she observed that the stone had been taken away. She ran and found Simon Peter and John - crying and pleading with them - asking them where her Lord had been taken.  They were both stunned and ran to the tomb. John arrived at and peered into the tomb first. Peter quickly followed and went inside the tomb to discover the linen cloths and handkerchief lying on the stone.

Mary recalled the pain in her heart as she longed to see her Savior once again. She stood outside by the empty tomb in disbelief. She recalled the encounter with the two heavenly messengers clothed in white as they sat - one at the head and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had laid. They asked her why she was weeping, and Mary said to them, "Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him."

She heard Jesus say to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?"  And then she said to Him, supposing Him to be the gardener, "Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away."

Mary then grinned as she recalled her response to His calling out her name, "Mary!"  She surprised herself at her quick heartfelt shout of, "Rabboni!". 

Yes - Mary's heart was filled with gratitude and amazement as she gazed into heaven while Jesus  ascended to His Father. That was a day she would never forget...

(Scripture references:  Luke 7:40-47; John 19:38-42; John 20:1-18)

What about you?  As we celebrate Resurrection Sunday - what is your response to the Risen Lord?  Are you also amazed at His gracious love and mercy?  Do you gaze heavenward in anticipation of His return?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.   Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Amazing love... How can it be? A Resurrection Gift...

Do you relate to DORY? I hope so...

Disney - Pixar

I must admit that I enjoy many Disney movies made for children. They often have a fun and quirky array of characters, and they generally present a great moral lesson within their story line.

Take the blockbuster Finding Nemo.  A clown fish (Marlin) and his son Nemo are separated after his son strays into the Great Barrier Reef. He is abducted by a boat and taken to Sydney Harbor where he ends up in a dentist's aquarium.

Marlin frantically looks for his son amid the vast ocean and teams up with Dory, a blue tang who suffers from short term memory loss. Together they search for Nemo as they encounter various dangers, sea creatures and unforeseen delays. Dory wants to help - but her constant memory loss diverts her attention to everything except her ongoing search and rescue mission to find Nemo. Marlin refuses to give up even though the task at hand seems hopeless. Father and son will be together again! With help from Dory and many others along the way, Marlin is finally reunited with his son.

I often joke about having "short term memory loss" like Dory - but that might be a good thing! In your unequally-yoked marriage you will have days where forgiveness is key;  no, it is absolutely necessary! Your Christian witness is on the line. You don't want to harbor resentment when your spouse doesn't meet a need, or responds in a gruff way to your request, or simply doesn't share that special spiritual connection with you.

Paul's passage in I Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that love has a responsibility to the other person. It enumerates several qualities that we as Christians should exhibit in our marriage - even to an unbeliever. This post I wrote breaks it all down:   True Definition of Love

Another sticking point in your spiritually mismatched marriage is self-control. A quick temper can derail any chance of a civil resolution to your dilemma. Instead, if you let go of your right to revenge, criticism, and backlash - you can learn to turn a deaf ear to the enemy when you are tempted to answer in anger. Remember, Ephesians 5:33 tells us that the wife should respect her husband. That means your speech, body language and attitude. Here is a past post I wrote about anger that may be helpful:    Anger Management - God's Way

I often remind myself to take a deep breath and bite my tongue if I need to before I respond to something negative. We all can take offense to someone's actions or words. What we need to do is to extend grace to our partner and give our frustrations over to God.

I Peter 3:1-4 lays out what a Godly portrait of submission should look like. Wives can be a greater influence for their unsaved spouses by being whom God created them to be. Conduct is the key to exhibiting Christ-like qualities to your spouse. Are we perfect? No - far from it. However, God will give you the grace and quiet strength that is necessary to live for Him - even in an unequally-yoked marriage.  You can read my past post on submission here:  Oh No - Not the "S" Word !


Below is an excerpt from my book  MISSION POSSIBLE - Chapter 1  You've Embraced Christ - Now What? 

     The enemy will mercilessly bombard you with thoughts, feelings, emotions and physical disdain for your mate. You must take every thought captive (II Corinthians 10:5) and stop looking at your mate as the enemy. Don't let his actions and words provoke you into disobedience.

     Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for building up, that it may impart grace to the hearers."  Matthew 18:9 states, "and if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you."  So it goes with your tongue.

     Stop committing spiritual murder against your mate! Bite it off and cast it away! Don't sin by grieving God as you curse the very person God wills to join you to, as ONE!

Copyright  © Deborah McCarragher and God Mission Possible, 2010-2017 

Now back to the whole matter of  "what are you going to do when push comes to shove?"  My best advice is to be like Dory...  Make sure you have short-term memory loss.  Don't hold a grudge. Forgive quickly and fully. Keep your focus on what God would have you do to keep your marriage in balance and pleasing to Him. 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Do you relate to DORY? I hope so...

Bunnies, Baskets and Bulbs... What about Jesus?

The traditional Easter celebration has morphed over the years into a mega commercial holiday.  It is second in the sale of candy only to Halloween.  Jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and candy eggs top the popular wish list.  Easter baskets are adorned with paper or plastic grass, small toys, and stuffed animals (bunnies, lambs, and chicks).

The Easter bunny originated in Europe and migrated to the United States.  It has always been a symbol of fertility.  Other animals played a significant role in Easter traditions throughout Europe such as doves, foxes and geese.  

Dyeing Easter eggs may have their origin in the 40 day period of Lent where often Christians would "give up" such dietary items as meat, eggs, and milk.  Eggs were decorated and kept for presenting in baskets lined with color straw as a treat after the fast.  Great care was given to extravagant design and a wide array of colorful dyes in order to ready them for presentation.

Chocolate eggs and the chocolate bunny had their roots in France and Germany in the 19th century and eventually made their way to the United States.  Chocolate was another common item to give up during Lent - thus making it a much desired item in the Easter basket.

A traditional Easter dinner might be leg of lamb or baked ham.  Lamb is traditional because Jesus' last supper was the Passover meal.   Ham was popular in the past because salted pork would last throughout the winter and be ready to eat in the Spring before other fresh meat was available.

But what about the Christian's celebration of this sacred holiday?  After all - we are celebrating the death and resurrection of our Lord.

The Easter season comprises of a 40 day period called Lent that precedes Easter Sunday. It is a time of reflection and penance, often involving a fast from one or more things - and represents the 40 days that Jesus spent in the wilderness before starting His ministry.

Good Friday honors the day of His crucifixion and Holy Saturday focuses on the transition between the crucifixion and the resurrection.  

Symbolic of purity and the bodily rising of Jesus Christ, Easter lilies adorn Christian homes and houses of worship on the holy day that shares its name.  The flower was so named based on the fact that it often blooms near the time of year that Easter occurs.  White reminds us of the purity of Christ and the gold color represents the royalty of Christ.

Tulips are also popular in the Spring, and as is the case with the Easter lily, both flowers have come to represent Christ's resurrection from the dead.  Christians celebrate life over death in which the bulbs burst forth from the ground and bloom.



What does an empty grave have to do with you and me?  How can Christ's resurrection impact our lives today?

Simply put - Jesus is no longer in the tomb... He is here.  He "tabernacles" with us. He is Emanuel [God with us] and He is ever present in our lives, in our circumstances and in our eternal destiny.   Jesus is with us in pain and in difficulty.  He is with us in solitude and in rejection.  He is with us in loneliness and in despair.  Nothing can separate us from Him and His love...

"We learn that 'the Lord was with Joseph' in slavery, and then in prison.  In other words, God is not just in the garden anymore - He shows up even in the most painful and difficult places.  That's good news for anyone in trouble, and a hint of the Good News to come."

(John Ortberg)

He is the first to rise from the dead - the "first fruit" of the incorruptible seed of humanity. He fulfills prophesy and establishes the order of the final resurrection.  Jesus Christ is the Alpha and the Omega - the Lord Almighty.  He is the originator of our spiritual DNA. 

Celebrate Easter with confidence, knowing that Jesus Christ purchased our access to heaven through His blood - atoning for our sins and sacrificing Himself in order to satisfy the Law's demands.  May we recognize and thank Him for His bountiful grace and mercy... 

Here is a link to one of my past Easter posts   EASTER - Promised Light Eternal

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Bunnies, Baskets and Bulbs... What about Jesus?

The Biggest Loser Isn't Always Better

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Forgiveness is a difficult concept to embrace. It calls for the release of resentment. It pardons an offense. It gives up its claim for retaliation. It grants relief from a debt owed.

So why do we struggle so much with forgiveness? One obvious reason is that we don't want to relinquish our control over an emotion that makes us venerable. 

During your marriage you will have decisions to make regarding forgiveness. Some will be easy. Others will not be so easy. They can range from trust issues to belittling comments, from embarrassment to indifference. Reasons for extending forgiveness are as varied and diversified as the human beings they represent. There are times we extend forgiveness at the drop of a hat. Then again, we might choose to hold onto hurt feelings and withhold forgiveness as some manipulative maneuver to gain control. 

Here is a link to a Blog post I wrote concerning criticism  Check Your Eye - I See a Speck

We know the world has it's own definition, but what does God's Word say about forgiveness?

Following the model prayer in Matthew 6, Jesus said this, "For if you forgive men this trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Paul writes the following in Colossians 3:12-14 regarding your new creation in Christ: "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

Lastly, in Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus teaches Peter and the rest of the disciples about forgiveness in the parable of the unjust servant and his master. Not only did Jesus tell Peter that he should forgive others up to seventy times seven (indefinitely) - but that He would judge each of them who does not forgive from his heart anyone who had trespassed against his brother.

A wise man once said this:  "He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass."

Remember to "take every thought captive, unto the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5). Pray and ask God to realign your will with His. Ask Him to do a refining work in you. Forgiveness is a choice that you must exercise - both in the spiritual and natural realms. God will do miracles in your marriage when you learn to forgive as Christ forgave you, and as you model the grace and humility embodied in a Christ follower.

Here is a link to a post I wrote on putting on your armor  Are You Properly Dressed for Battle?

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget," is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive."  ~Anonymous

In Matthew 10:39 Jesus said, "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."  Losing your claim to your own sense of justification will bring freedom and release from the prison of unforgiveness. 

Ultimately, you are the loser  if you do not deal with an unforgiving spirit. You must "give up" your right to your own feelings and place them in the loving and capable hands of the Lord. He will prepare your heart for the gift of forgiveness and will enable you to extend it to others...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The Biggest Loser Isn't Always Better

4th of July and our Independence

Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a celebrated federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. On July 2, 1776 legal separation of the American colonies from the kingdom of Great Britain occurred, declaring freedom from their tyrannical rule. Afterwards, the Second Continental Congress debated and revised the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4th. 

Galatians 5 verse 1 says:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (NIV)
   
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. (KJV)
   
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (NAS)

Freedom comes with a price... 

Jesus Christ bought our freedom with his own blood. The Apostle Paul writes, "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23); "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8); "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23).

We have a responsibility as Christians to uphold a different standard and to be an example to the world around us. We are light and salt (Matthew 5:13-16) 

Liberty sets us free...

Roy Lessin had this to say about liberty:  
"As the heart of the country breaks, God calls His people to open up a healing stream of love and prayer. Pray that broken hearts will turn to Him for healing, that grieving hearts will turn to Him for comfort, and that lost hearts will turn to Him for the gift of salvation that is in Jesus Christ alone. His grace is still being extended, His mercies are still new every morning, and His arms are still outstretched to embrace very hurting heart."

The following 3 minute video is of a Harvard Business School professor, Dr. Clay Christensen, giving a very sobering viewpoint of what happens when we as a nation forsake our foundation of faith. Anne Graham Lotz wrote a Charisma Podcast Network article here in which she boldly implies we have a choice that faces us today as a nation: Would we implode and disintegrate emotionally and spiritually?





Christ can restore our nation...

Pray that our nation will turn back to God.  Pray that our hedge of protection and blessing will be restored once again.  Pray for revival and a renewed interest in the things of God.  Pray for God's influence to permeate every aspect of our culture, politics, and national dialog.

"If My people, which are called by My name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."  (II Chronicles 7:14)

Don't take your freedom for granted. Celebrate this Independence Day knowing that God makes a way for your liberty to be possible - even in a sin-filled world. Jesus Himself declared, “Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.“ (John 8:36)

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.   Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

4th of July and our Independence

R E S P E C T ... Who Needs It? Part 2

God does not stipulate that my husband must be a believer to be respected.

God expects me to reverence and honor my husband in my actions, words and thoughts, no matter the circumstance.  Ouch!

If you missed the previous post you can read it here:  PART 1

“Familiarity breeds contempt” is something you might say if you know someone very well or you experience something frequently.  That contempt might be shown in your attitude if you stop respecting them.

Our body language is one such thing that can speak volumes to our spouse about our lack of respect.

The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 

Genesis 3:1-24 gives us the behind the scenes narrative of Adam and Eve's fall from grace. Back in the garden Eve exerted influence that was misused and it harmed her and Adam’s standing with each other and with God.  Her “desire” was to lead their relationship. She had exhibited a lack of respect by not submitting to his God-given authority in their marriage.  Now God was instructing her that Adam would take on that role and lead in their marriage.

Respect for your husband ignites the fire within his spirit man to enable him to love you in a God-ordained way. 

“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.”  Ephesians 5:22 [The MESSAGE]

I Peter 3:1-2 tells us that even when an unbelieving spouse does not obey God’s Word, they may be won over to God “by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chase conduct accompanied by fear” [respect]. 

Can you think of a time when you blatantly disrespected your spouse?  Did God lovingly "correct" you and have you genuinely repent?  How did your spouse respond?

The “love chapter” in I Corinthians 13:1-13 teaches us how God’s love shown through us to others can make an impact in all relationships we are in (e.g. husband and wife, parent and child, siblings).  As we mature in Christ, we must put away the childish things.  Many times those things are the perception that we have the right to be right, thinking we are justified in our words or actions, and feeling like we are the victim in our circumstances.

The Lord gently and methodically showed me my venerability in parenting.  I was showing preference within my family relationships that was unhealthy and potentially damaging to my marriage.  He allowed me to view my behavior as rude and provoking.  I had been “puffed up” in my thinking and was not showing love and understanding for my mate’s position in the matter. 

I had violated much of what Paul spoke of in the very verses I read during devotionals on countless occasions.  I Corinthians 13 can attest to what our love walk should look like.  I was not showing love when I yelled at my husband that evening.

This is the conclusion of the matter:  I was wrong in how I handled the whole dilemma.  

As my husband got more irritated during the day and into the evening, I should have affirmed his feelings and his lingering anger at our son’s irresponsibility.  However, I also should have communicated to him that we have all had days that just didn’t work out the way we thought they would.  Grace should have been extended to all parties, and I needed to keep my emotions in check without making a critical error in judgment.

I have confessed my behavior and manipulations to the Lord, and I have released my resentment towards my husband to Him as well.  I want to please God and show the respect my husband is due – no matter what the outcome is for me.  God has that covered.  I need to trust in His Sovereignty and let Him work out the details.

I was also reminded [by the Lord] that our son observed my outburst, and that can have an effect on his future relationships.  He knows I am a Christian in a spiritually mismatched marriage.  I am to model Christ's behavior and leave the results with Him.  I don’t need to insert my flawed thinking into the mix.  I need to trust and obey.  I need to relinquish my rights to my own feelings of being justified and God will convict my husband of his shortcomings.

There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience.  ~Anonymous

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

R E S P E C T ... Who Needs It? Part 2

R E S P E C T ... Who needs it? Part 1

Some of you might identify with my sentiments here.  You might even agree with me in principle.  But more importantly – what does God have to say regarding the matter?

Respect  can be defined as:  the act of giving particular attention; to consider worthy of high regard; the quality or state of being esteemed; to refrain from interfering with.

I’m going to share a personal story here that occurred during this past holiday season.  God has spoken to my heart about what took place.  I feel it could be a conversation starter as well as thought provoking for those in a spiritually mismatched marriage.  

This Post is PART  1 of 2  ~

My husband and I were enjoying our adult son’s two week visit along with his 3 yr. old daughter. He had been on deployment for 9 months and was on leave before heading back to his duty station.  Things were going great and we loved watching him interact with his toddler daughter after the long separation.

A couple of days after Christmas he went golfing with a friend and promised to return in time for me to go to work half a day.  I kept our granddaughter in the morning and we agreed he would meet me in town after his golf outing.  But things didn’t quite work out as we planned.

Long story made short – 18 holes ended up taking much longer than he anticipated, and to make things worse – he forgot to leave me the car seat for our granddaughter.  Needless to say, I couldn’t go to work or transport his daughter anywhere.  As the day wore on, my husband’s temper reflected it proportionately.

By the time evening rolled around our son was approaching the last hole on the golf course and still had to drive back to his friend’s house to get his car and the car seat.  By now my husband was fuming and our dinner plans to meet the rest of the family were in jeopardy.  The holiday season was not so merry…

It shouldn’t have happened, but it did.  I was making excuses for our son and trying to be the peacemaker in our home.  Family members were waiting for us to join them in town and the plans had been changed multiple times.  My husband was livid with our son for being irresponsible and for his lack of proper planning.  

When our son finally returned home (over 4 hours late), I was waiting with our granddaughter when my husband informed me he wasn’t going with us.  He got in his car to leave to go get something to eat and at that very moment our son pulled into the driveway - blocking him from leaving.  That did it.

My husband started yelling from inside of his vehicle while I was trying to put our granddaughter into our son’s car.  Our son wasn’t aware that his dad was so angry.  Then I saw the look on his face as he was caught in the crossfire of his dad and me fighting.  Once we were on our way to meet the others, he asked me why dad was in such a foul mood.  I had to gently but firmly explain to him what led up to the night’s messy ending.

In our 30+ years of marriage we hadn’t traded barbs with each other verbally like that in a long, long time.  I shouldn’t have yelled back at him, but I was so angry and he was so out of control over what I thought was an insignificant thing.  I realize now that I made things worse by downplaying the whole event while telling him to, “just go and leave us alone!”

I would like to take this opportunity to say that our son is a great young man and a wonderful father. He is responsible and thoughtful.  He simply made an error in judgment that day that had ugly ramifications.  He was out of his element after being on deployment for 9 months, and he was here visiting us instead of at home in his normal environment and routine. 

Later that evening we were all “walking on egg shells” as we skirted the issue in order to keep the conversation civil.  By the next day – my husband and I briefly discussed what had happened and I felt the Lord convict me of my bad behavior the night before.  My son apologized for any inconvenience he caused us and I apologized for acting in an ungodly fashion to my husband.

Now – let me say that I felt completely justified in what I had said and done during that episode of “behaving badly”.  Isn’t that exactly what we do when we know we are not honoring God (or our spouse) while we are angry.  Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry, and do not sin”; do not let the sun go down on your wrath…” 

The parent / child relationship really doesn’t change that much as the years go by.  I found myself taking sides again with our son instead of my husband, something I had repented for long ago (I thought).  Okay – am I the only one who regrets putting preference for my child over my spouse?  Am I the first wife to show disrespect by marginalizing my husband’s opinion for that of my own?  Wow – why was I so selfish and controlling with my words?

We will continue this discussion in Part 2.  I want to share with you what the Lord spoke to my heart in the weeks following this family occurrence, and how I hope to make adjustments in my thinking and behavior in the future.


Come join me for a look at how God turned something hurtful into something hopeful...  in   PART 2

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

R E S P E C T ... Who needs it? Part 1

Has God Put You In "Time Out" ?

"My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline, but don't be crushed by it either.  It's the child He loves that He disciplines; the child He embraces, He also corrects."   (Hebrews 12:5  MSG)

The point of discipline is to redirect or correct behavior that is inappropriate or unacceptable.

I know we’ve all been there.  God has just pricked our hearts via the Holy Spirit right after we let loose a barrage of hurtful words towards our spouse.  Or perhaps it was the uneasy feeling we had when we realized just how ungrateful we were acting after they had done something nice for us. 

How is it we usually know when we’ve just been disciplined by our Heavenly Father?

In the devotional “My Utmost For His Highest” by Oswald Chambers, this passage speaks to that very point:    Never quench the Spirit, and do not despise Him when He says to you – “Don’t be blind on this point anymore; you are not where you thought you were.”  …We get into sulks with God and say – “Oh, well, I can’t help it; I did pray and things did not turn out right…”

Are you giving the Holy Spirit opportunity to work on your attitude?  Do you allow the Word of God to penetrate and stir your thoughts?  Have godly friends approached you with concerns over your blatant petty actions?

The Apostle Paul struggled with things that we all deal with.  He knew God’s commands were necessary to help point us in the right direction.  However, he also knew that his flesh – his human nature – was at times getting the best of him.  Here’s how he frames the issue in Romans 7:18-23 – (The Message)

     For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

     It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

So what do you do when you first feel the pangs of conviction start to stir?

First of all, quit making excuses and own your sin.  Don’t be stiff-necked and un-pliable.  Let God chasten you for the purpose of spiritual maturing.  Embrace His gentle and loving rebuke.  In the end, it will “yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).

Tender your heart… Still your mind… Open your ears…

Next time you’ve found yourself at odds with your mate over a matter that seems trivial, use discernment and wisdom that only God can give. The last thing you want to face is your Heavenly Father putting you in a well-deserved “time out”.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Has God Put You In "Time Out" ?

Do You Make Others "Beg" for Forgiveness?

You might not do it verbally.  You might not even mean to - but your actions say it loud and clear.  You might as well tell them to get down on one knee and start begging...

Forgiveness is one of those words we just look at and squirm a little.  You might have a history of "hurts" in your marriage or in your family that just keeps getting in the way of real progress towards forgiveness.  Things said and done during heated discussions.  A forgotten birthday or anniversary.  A bad business decision or a regret over financial mishaps in your marriage can produce an unforgiving spirit. How about betrayal or lying?  What do you do with repeated anger, resentment, and yes - even hatred?


To better understand forgiveness, lets look at its root definition:  to cease to feel resentment against an offender; to pardon.  We have to understand it from God's perspective (Psalm 86:5). When God forgives, it's for good.  It's complete. It's final.  It's gone with no trace of having ever been there (Isaiah 43:25). No dredging up the past; no looking for leftovers, and nothing to retrieve from the hard drive. Zero - Zip!

Can you and I forgive that way?  No - not in our own strength or by our own volition. We can only forgive as Christ does when He lives in our hearts and works in our lives.  As believers, we have been freed from the bondage that unforgiving can cause. Because of Christ we can forgive.  He exhibited the ultimate forgiveness when He hung on the cross for our sins. He purchased our right to be forgiven and modeled forgiveness (Luke 23:34). 


In II Corinthians 2:6-8 the Apostle Paul instructed the Corinthians to forgive someone who has caused grief due to their sin against fellow believers.  His point was to forgive him so that he would not be overcome with too much sorrow, and thus not be received again back into fellowship with God, and ultimately once again within the church.  In marriage, to forgive is to restore hope, and that is essential in moving past the hurt.


You give up the right to your own hurt and disappointment when you forgive someone. You give yourself permission to move on - to release them and the offense.  Healing can take place in a relationship when you both move from bitterness to forgiveness.   

Love and trust can be restored where forgiveness is cherished and pardon is practiced.  

So, how do you keep on forgiving when you're faced with attending a repeat performance year after year?  Can't you just get past it already?  Why do we keep holding on to the same bad memories and heartaches, as though they provide some sort of sadistic satisfaction or revenge?  

Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 18:21-22 to not even consider how many times to forgive, but to have a genuine heartfelt spirit of forgiveness towards others without preconceived parameters.  In other words, keep on forgiving as your heavenly Father extends His mercy towards you. 

Please don't misunderstand me -  I don't condone spousal abuse or mental cruelty, but oftentimes we do have to extend grace far beyond what we would like to.  

Forgiveness is one of those things that takes on a life of itself;  when we walk in the Spirit - we have a supernatural ability from God to practice it in reality.

I personally like to try to live each day as a brand new opportunity, to put behind me the things that I have already forgiven, and move forward with a clean slate. I refuse to let Satan wreck havoc in my marriage where it isn't even warranted.  I have enough to deal with without opening the door to more misunderstandings and misconceptions in our relationship.

 In closing - I'll share these nuggets:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. The Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:32)

 

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.  ~ George Herbert 

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget," is only another way of sayings, "I will not forgive."  

~ Anonymous

A Christian will find it cheaper to pardon than to resent.  Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.  ~ Hannah More

Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.  ~ E.H. Chapin

 

 

 Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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Do You Make Others "Beg" for Forgiveness?