5 Things to do While You Wait on God...

Waiting... It's not our favorite thing to do.

When you give your life to the Lord, you want everyone else in your household and family to do the same - at least that is how I felt.

I was the first one in my family to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in a public setting.  My mother has a deep faith and belief in God, but I never really comprehended what that meant growing up.  My father wasn't interested in church attendance or the things of God. My sister is still resistant to God and religion in general.

When my husband and I married, we were both unbelievers. Seven years later I had a powerful conversion experience that had real consequences. There were immediate changes in my behavior, thoughts and heart. I wrote a blog post about how to tell if the experience is real or not:  A Bona Fide Convert

So - what came next?  WAITING...

Here is an excerpt from my book  MISSION POSSIBLE  -  Chapter 6  "In the Meantime - Serve"
     

During your time of "waiting on the Lord" (Psalm 27:14), you must be courageous. This is not a time for whimpering and whining. This is a time to dig in and serve - and a time to dig trenches and fortify your position in Christ regarding your mate. The enemy is stealthy and clever in distraction regarding your mission. He will try to divert your energy and resources into other areas that might be good, but not GOD's best! Be careful with too many church activities and over commitment. Remember, your spouse does not understand your need to serve the kingdom purposes. They just don't understand it. Balance is crucial when it comes to home, church, and work. Pray that God will prepare your husband's heart and give you that understanding and favor regarding your "God assignments".

5 Things to do While You Wait on God...

1.    Pray for your spouse -
      
        Praying for your spouse is powerful and helps you to see their spiritual darkness as God sees it. One of the Scriptures I pray for my husband is Ephesians 1:17-19 , "...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power."

Another one is Romans 10:20 , "But Isaiah is very bold and says: 'I was found by those who did not seek Me; I was made manifest to those who did not ask for Me."

2.    Sow seeds for a harvest -

        Go ahead and plant seed.  Share the basics of the Gospel in a loving, sensitive way.  The worst thing you can do is to "preach to them" and point out glaring faults in a legalistic way.  Unless they have had their heart regenerated - it won't make any sense to them.  Remember, they are spiritually blind. I Corinthians 2:14 says "But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."

3.    Remember it is God who draws them -

        You are not "Holy Spirit Jr." - so don't try so hard to make it happen. God is the one who initiates the wooing of their spirit man. Hosea 11:4 says, "I drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love, and I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck. I stooped and fed them." Jesus says in John 6:44, "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him..."

4.    Live as a witness -

        In order to be a witness, you have to emulate Jesus' characteristics and desire what he desires. The fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 are the attributes we should be displaying if we are living a life hid in Christ Jesus. He says this in John 15:5, "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."

5.    Have patience and perseverance -

         Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Our faith in God and hope in His Word give us the strength and endurance we need to "keep on keeping on".  God's perfect plan may be an immediate salvation experience or it may be years away. Either way - wouldn't you rejoice in your mate's conversion - even if that meant waiting for the right time, place, and situation? Don't give up... God is moving in the background and arranging things we don't even know about yet.  

Jesus tells us in Luke 18:-8, "Then the Lord said, 'Hear what the unjust judge said, And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?"


Waiting on the Lord can renew your strength and fortify your hope. Rest in Him as you wait...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

5 Things to do While You Wait on God...

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say...

Who do you confide in when you are at the end of your rope?  Do you bottle everything up inside, or do you reach for your cell phone?  

Do your close friends know every detail of your fledgling relationship? 


Don't dishonor God by revealing things that would be unflattering or misconstrued by others regarding your marriage. Gossip is destructive and slander is evil - especially when it damages your spouse.

Here's a post I wrote a few years ago about this very thing:

Don't Trash Your Marriage

On occasion I have things run through my mind that are like a "powder keg" waiting to blow. My husband might be doing something seemingly harmless like watching a TV program - but it is affecting my spirit in a negative way. It is often offensive in nature (bleeping every other word) or violent content that grieves me when I hear it or see it.  Sometimes I just have to go into another room and collect my thoughts before I say something I'll regret.

II Corinthians 10:5 says this, "... casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."

There is no doubt that I generally "bring every thought" kicking and screaming to obey the nature of Christ. Flesh wars against the spirit. The tug-o-war is real. The evil one wants to create an atmosphere of defeat, discouragement and doubt. His desire is for you to exhibit distain and disgust towards your mate.  He wants to unravel any victory or alliance that would bring God glory.

Galatians 5:22-23 is one of the greatest New Testament passages written by Paul that contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit. In my humble opinion self-control is paramount to overcoming an adverse and abrasive nature.

Our words carry an immeasurable weight with our spouses. We can bless them with uplifting positive speech or we can curse them with careless negative talk. Jesus Christ Himself said, "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."  You can't disguise how you really feel.

"...For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34)

Ask God to help you with your temper, your criticism, and your negativity. Pray for your fruits of the Spirit to be evident to your mate. Immerse yourself in Scripture and meditate on passages that reinforce edifying speech.  Here is a post I wrote on the Fruit of the Spirit:

Fruitful or Barren?

What do you struggle with most in your unequally-yoked marriage? Do your words get you into trouble? Do you fall into the trap of bad-mouthing your spouse? How do you effectively battle this issue in your home?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say...

3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Just like Groundhog Day - it's a replay from the year before... New Year's Eve and all the anticipation that it brings...

We make resolutions, start diets & exercise, begin healthy habits, quit things that we've decided not to do anymore, all in an attempt to start afresh with a clean slate...

So - why do we feel like all the effort never pays off?  What can we do differently THIS YEAR to make our goals and dreams a reality?

Remember, you are in control of your own spiritual destiny with God.  Your mind, will, and emotions play an important part. Your volitional level involves your will (or willingness).  Your emotions and intellect carry out your desire. Make sure you aim for success by making the decision to follow through with your plans.  Here are a few tips to get you started...

First of all ---  Don't stress out!  God's Word declares His mercy and compassion are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).  When we fail (and we will) we know He is a God of fresh beginnings and second chances.  These are two of my favorites verses for encouragement:

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”  

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, go give you a future and a hope."

Secondly ---  Map out your overall strategy for the year ahead. Start out with small steps towards your goal. Keep reminding yourself that you're doing better than the previous year. Stay focused on the "big picture" and not on your failures. You will have setbacks and disappointments, so be ready for bumps in the road.  Thank God for your progress and ask Him to help you in your spiritual journey.

Thirdly ---  Keep on keeping on! Don't give up or let the enemy of your soul taunt you. Every day that you set your mind and affection on Jesus Christ is a winning day!  Bask in His Word, keep on praying, and stay in fellowship with other believers. Isolation is one of Satan's greatest weapons. Encourage yourself daily in the Lord.  Ask Him to help you succeed by producing good fruit in your spiritual life (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).

As we walk day by day through the year 2015, let us be comforted by this great hymn.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

   Leaning, leaning,

   Safe and secure from all alarms;

   Leaning, leaning,

   Leaning on the everlasting arms.

O, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

O, how bright the path grows from day to day,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,

Leaning on the everlasting arms?

I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

(Elisha Albright Hoffman)

In this new year resolve to make forward progress towards Christ:

As the Apostle Paul states in Philippians verse 13-14, “but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  

Enjoy two of my favorite New Year's Eve posts from years past:

The New Year - Time For a Change

A Sure Foundation for the New Year

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others. 

3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Left Behind or Forward March?

With the premier of the new movie LEFT BEHIND - I was again feeling a bit uneasy. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, then most likely you have family members who aren't. This is especially difficult if you have a spouse who doesn't yet profess the name of Jesus as Savior.

I asked my husband if he would like to see the much anticipated movie at the theater near us next week. His mother had read many of the books years ago and enjoyed them from a "fiction" standpoint. I don't recall that he ever read one himself.  However, he just might go see this movie with me out of nothing more than obligation and sheer curiosity.

He did surprise me this summer when he came home with the DVD  SON OF GOD .  He said we could watch it together. I couldn't believe my ears. I had watched the entire mini series on the History Channel when it originally aired and he had often watched portions with me.  He never discussed them, but continued watching nonetheless.

God is always working behind the scenes.  In my book MISSION POSSIBLE, I mention the fact that your spouse will unknowingly be drawn "to the things of God in you" - completely unaware of God's sovereignty in all circumstances. Our "fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23) all serve to point your spouse (unaware) to God. They will notice the difference, but not be able to pin-point when it happened or why.

So - as time marches on I continue to hold onto the hope that he will indeed ask Jesus into his heart.  I and many others have "planted seed", another will "water" and God will "bring the increase." My husband's salvation is nearer now that it has ever been.

If you are married to someone who doesn't yet know the Lord, or you are not really sure about their salvation - my previous post A Bona Fide Convert  will give you something to think about.

Only God knows the condition of their heart. Only He knows what it will take to soften it and move mightily in their particular situation. Our duty is to pray and live out our life as a testimony of God's goodness and grace in action.

Are you waiting for your miracle? Do you tire at the thought of attending church alone or longing for a true spiritual leader in your home? Put your faith in God's faithfulness and His promises.


"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."  (II Peter 3:9)

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Left Behind or Forward March?

Are You A Caregiver? What About Caring For Your Spouse?

I apologize for a lapse in blog posts recently.  I was functioning in the role of caregiver for close family members during the past two weeks.

As I spent time out of town helping my sister recover after surgery, I began to reflect on what qualities caregivers exhibit most during their time with those they minister to.  Notice I used the word “minister”.

For the Christian, being a caregiver must include not only acts of kindness and mercy, but also walking in the Spirit.  

There is a woman in Scripture who comes to mind when I think of good works and charitable deeds.  In Acts 9:36 Luke tells us about Tabitha (which is translated Dorcas).  She was loved by many and was known for making colorful garments. Dorcas cared for those around her by sewing tunics and sharing them with the less fortunate. When she became sick and died, it was Peter who prayed for her to be revived as a testimony to God’s resurrection power.

In I Corinthians 12:28 the gift of “helps” is listed as essential for the church to function as God designed it.  There is a diversity of Spiritual gifts and callings, but one Spirit.  A gift of mercy and hospitality is necessary in the Body of Christ to care for the flock of God. 

Here are a couple of interesting statistics from the 2009 study funded by the MetLife Foundation for the National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with AARP:

-          Half of caregivers say their loved one lives in his or her own home (51%), while 29% live

together with their care recipient.

-          Half of caregivers (53%) also say that their caregiving takes time away from friends and other family members. Those who have sacrificed this time with family and friends are far more likely to feel high emotional stress (47%) than are those who have been able to maintain the time they spend with family and friends (14%).

There are many in the nursing profession that will tell you that it is their “calling” in life.  Nursing is the quintessential service oriented occupation.  It is one based on selflessness and sacrifice. The gifts of mercy and compassion flow effortlessly. I am convinced that there are natural gifts and God ordained gifts that are given to each believer in order to enrich the lives of others.

Patience, longsuffering and gentleness are three of the Spiritual fruits that are often evident in caregivers.

When the Apostle Paul tells us in I Corinthians 13:1-3 that love is the greatest gift, verse 7 lists how difficult loving can really be.  Endurance is the key to bearing up under the weight of love that is tested and tried.  If we have not love – we have nothing to give that is of importance.

Paul also emphasizes in Ephesians 2:10 that we have been created in Christ Jesus for “good works” which God engineered and prepared for us in advance. 

As we draw on our God-given strengths, we are challenged to demonstrate our fruits (Galatians 5:22-23). 

When I consider the time and effort I put into my caregiving duties with family members, I realize that I should do no less for my own husband.  

Women generally don’t have an issue with caregiving – but I have become acutely aware of the fact that I may not always extend the same mercy, longsuffering or patience to my spouse as I would with someone else.  I have been convicted of that very fact since I have returned home to my daily routine and responsibilities.

My husband deserves the same care and concern I would show for any other family member in need.  So why do I often dismiss his needs, but run to help someone else? 

May God continue to help me prioritize and submit to His plan for utilizing my caregiving gifts at home.  I don’t want to discover later on that I let my own agenda sideline God’s plan for being a loving and care centered wife in my own household.

Can I get a witness here?  Do you struggle with caregiving in your family and at home? What helps you stay God-centered as you minister to your loved ones?

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Are You A Caregiver? What About Caring For Your Spouse?

R E S P E C T ... Who Needs It? Part 2

God does not stipulate that my husband must be a believer to be respected.

God expects me to reverence and honor my husband in my actions, words and thoughts, no matter the circumstance.  Ouch!

If you missed the previous post you can read it here:  PART 1

“Familiarity breeds contempt” is something you might say if you know someone very well or you experience something frequently.  That contempt might be shown in your attitude if you stop respecting them.

Our body language is one such thing that can speak volumes to our spouse about our lack of respect.

The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 

Genesis 3:1-24 gives us the behind the scenes narrative of Adam and Eve's fall from grace. Back in the garden Eve exerted influence that was misused and it harmed her and Adam’s standing with each other and with God.  Her “desire” was to lead their relationship. She had exhibited a lack of respect by not submitting to his God-given authority in their marriage.  Now God was instructing her that Adam would take on that role and lead in their marriage.

Respect for your husband ignites the fire within his spirit man to enable him to love you in a God-ordained way. 

“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.”  Ephesians 5:22 [The MESSAGE]

I Peter 3:1-2 tells us that even when an unbelieving spouse does not obey God’s Word, they may be won over to God “by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chase conduct accompanied by fear” [respect]. 

Can you think of a time when you blatantly disrespected your spouse?  Did God lovingly "correct" you and have you genuinely repent?  How did your spouse respond?

The “love chapter” in I Corinthians 13:1-13 teaches us how God’s love shown through us to others can make an impact in all relationships we are in (e.g. husband and wife, parent and child, siblings).  As we mature in Christ, we must put away the childish things.  Many times those things are the perception that we have the right to be right, thinking we are justified in our words or actions, and feeling like we are the victim in our circumstances.

The Lord gently and methodically showed me my venerability in parenting.  I was showing preference within my family relationships that was unhealthy and potentially damaging to my marriage.  He allowed me to view my behavior as rude and provoking.  I had been “puffed up” in my thinking and was not showing love and understanding for my mate’s position in the matter. 

I had violated much of what Paul spoke of in the very verses I read during devotionals on countless occasions.  I Corinthians 13 can attest to what our love walk should look like.  I was not showing love when I yelled at my husband that evening.

This is the conclusion of the matter:  I was wrong in how I handled the whole dilemma.  

As my husband got more irritated during the day and into the evening, I should have affirmed his feelings and his lingering anger at our son’s irresponsibility.  However, I also should have communicated to him that we have all had days that just didn’t work out the way we thought they would.  Grace should have been extended to all parties, and I needed to keep my emotions in check without making a critical error in judgment.

I have confessed my behavior and manipulations to the Lord, and I have released my resentment towards my husband to Him as well.  I want to please God and show the respect my husband is due – no matter what the outcome is for me.  God has that covered.  I need to trust in His Sovereignty and let Him work out the details.

I was also reminded [by the Lord] that our son observed my outburst, and that can have an effect on his future relationships.  He knows I am a Christian in a spiritually mismatched marriage.  I am to model Christ's behavior and leave the results with Him.  I don’t need to insert my flawed thinking into the mix.  I need to trust and obey.  I need to relinquish my rights to my own feelings of being justified and God will convict my husband of his shortcomings.

There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience.  ~Anonymous

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

R E S P E C T ... Who Needs It? Part 2

R E S P E C T ... Who needs it? Part 1

Some of you might identify with my sentiments here.  You might even agree with me in principle.  But more importantly – what does God have to say regarding the matter?

Respect  can be defined as:  the act of giving particular attention; to consider worthy of high regard; the quality or state of being esteemed; to refrain from interfering with.

I’m going to share a personal story here that occurred during this past holiday season.  God has spoken to my heart about what took place.  I feel it could be a conversation starter as well as thought provoking for those in a spiritually mismatched marriage.  

This Post is PART  1 of 2  ~

My husband and I were enjoying our adult son’s two week visit along with his 3 yr. old daughter. He had been on deployment for 9 months and was on leave before heading back to his duty station.  Things were going great and we loved watching him interact with his toddler daughter after the long separation.

A couple of days after Christmas he went golfing with a friend and promised to return in time for me to go to work half a day.  I kept our granddaughter in the morning and we agreed he would meet me in town after his golf outing.  But things didn’t quite work out as we planned.

Long story made short – 18 holes ended up taking much longer than he anticipated, and to make things worse – he forgot to leave me the car seat for our granddaughter.  Needless to say, I couldn’t go to work or transport his daughter anywhere.  As the day wore on, my husband’s temper reflected it proportionately.

By the time evening rolled around our son was approaching the last hole on the golf course and still had to drive back to his friend’s house to get his car and the car seat.  By now my husband was fuming and our dinner plans to meet the rest of the family were in jeopardy.  The holiday season was not so merry…

It shouldn’t have happened, but it did.  I was making excuses for our son and trying to be the peacemaker in our home.  Family members were waiting for us to join them in town and the plans had been changed multiple times.  My husband was livid with our son for being irresponsible and for his lack of proper planning.  

When our son finally returned home (over 4 hours late), I was waiting with our granddaughter when my husband informed me he wasn’t going with us.  He got in his car to leave to go get something to eat and at that very moment our son pulled into the driveway - blocking him from leaving.  That did it.

My husband started yelling from inside of his vehicle while I was trying to put our granddaughter into our son’s car.  Our son wasn’t aware that his dad was so angry.  Then I saw the look on his face as he was caught in the crossfire of his dad and me fighting.  Once we were on our way to meet the others, he asked me why dad was in such a foul mood.  I had to gently but firmly explain to him what led up to the night’s messy ending.

In our 30+ years of marriage we hadn’t traded barbs with each other verbally like that in a long, long time.  I shouldn’t have yelled back at him, but I was so angry and he was so out of control over what I thought was an insignificant thing.  I realize now that I made things worse by downplaying the whole event while telling him to, “just go and leave us alone!”

I would like to take this opportunity to say that our son is a great young man and a wonderful father. He is responsible and thoughtful.  He simply made an error in judgment that day that had ugly ramifications.  He was out of his element after being on deployment for 9 months, and he was here visiting us instead of at home in his normal environment and routine. 

Later that evening we were all “walking on egg shells” as we skirted the issue in order to keep the conversation civil.  By the next day – my husband and I briefly discussed what had happened and I felt the Lord convict me of my bad behavior the night before.  My son apologized for any inconvenience he caused us and I apologized for acting in an ungodly fashion to my husband.

Now – let me say that I felt completely justified in what I had said and done during that episode of “behaving badly”.  Isn’t that exactly what we do when we know we are not honoring God (or our spouse) while we are angry.  Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry, and do not sin”; do not let the sun go down on your wrath…” 

The parent / child relationship really doesn’t change that much as the years go by.  I found myself taking sides again with our son instead of my husband, something I had repented for long ago (I thought).  Okay – am I the only one who regrets putting preference for my child over my spouse?  Am I the first wife to show disrespect by marginalizing my husband’s opinion for that of my own?  Wow – why was I so selfish and controlling with my words?

We will continue this discussion in Part 2.  I want to share with you what the Lord spoke to my heart in the weeks following this family occurrence, and how I hope to make adjustments in my thinking and behavior in the future.


Come join me for a look at how God turned something hurtful into something hopeful...  in   PART 2

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

R E S P E C T ... Who needs it? Part 1

Fruitful or Barren - What Will Your Spouse See?

     I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn’t bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken.

     Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me.

     I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is – when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.             (John 15:1-8  MSG)

When you are living in a spiritually uneven marriage, your husband becomes a fruit inspector, even if he doesn't totally grasp the concept from a Christian standpoint.

He looks for evidences of your conversion.  He sees your reactions to everyday struggles.  He watches to see if you'll acknowledge him for something he's done for you.  Do you have fruit for him to appreciate, much less notice?

Jesus told us we would bear good fruit when we abide in Him.  That means we are to stay in an intimate relationship with Him which entails Bible study, praying, and following His commandments.  Fruit bearing is a result of living in total surrender to Him. 

The following is an excerpt from an article in the magazine In Touch by Dr. Charles F. Stanley:

The wisest decision you can make is to set your heart, mind, and will on doing whatever is necessary to grow up in Christ.  Then whenever the Lord gives you a specific responsibility of any kind, you will be prepared and equipped to fulfill your calling.  Here are some spiritual markers of a believer.

The Fruit of Spiritual Maturing

Spirit-controlled character  (Gal. 5:22-25)

Stability of sound doctrine  (I Tim. 4:6)

Passion for Christ and His calling  (Phil. 3:7-14)

Increasing love for one another  (I Thess. 3:12-13)

Ability to gently exhort others  (II Tim. 2:24-26)

Discernment  (Heb. 5:14)

Godly wisdom  (James 3:13-18)

Increasing holiness in behavior  (I Peter 1:13-16)

In the New Testament Jesus used the fig tree to illustrate spiritual hypocrisy in the religious community of His day.  Here is one such passage:

Now in the morning, as He [Jesus] returned to the city, He was hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it but leaves, and said to it, “Let no fruit grow on you ever again.” And immediately, the fig tree withered away.  (Matthew 21:18-19)

Jesus cursed the tree because it should have had some fruit on it naturally – simply as a function of its fruit-bearing nature and tendency to blossom nearly year-round.  He correlated the tree’s lack of fruit to the nation of Israel’s spiritual deficit and moral corruption.  The Jewish people had forsaken God and rejected Him time and time again.  The religious leaders made a mockery of the original intent of the Law and had burdened men with hundreds of man-made rules and regulations.

Fig trees in Jesus’ day were abundant and as common as an oak or maple in your front yard today. Everyone had a fig tree and they dotted the landscape in the hillsides surrounding Jerusalem.  In the Old Testament it often represented prosperity.  In I Kings 4:25 we read that “every man was sitting under his own fig tree.”  The fig tree makes a good shade tree, often growing up to 20 feet or more. (John 1:43-50) 

Many times fig trees were planted alongside the grapevines and flourished in the well-maintained vineyards.  Fruit often appears before the leaves which don’t appear until right before summer.  Two crops of fruit appear: one in the spring which is eaten fresh, and the other in fall which is often dried during the winter. 

The first time a fruit tree is mentioned and named in Scripture is in Genesis. Fig leaves were sewed together and used to cover Adam and Eve’s nakedness in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 3:7) The fig leaves are roughly the size of a human hand and are hairy on the back side.

 So, let’s talk about OUR fruit (or lack thereof).  How do we assure a year-round crop of eye-pleasing, mouth-watering fruit?  How do we stay connected to the Vine and grow as a follower of Christ?

We go back to our passage in John 15:1-8.  We abide.  We make Jesus the hub of our lives.  As the Apostle Paul says in Acts 17:28, “for in Him we live and move and have our being…”  What should our fruit look like?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  (Galatians 5:22-23)

I just happen to know a really great Gardener, and His fruit is always ripe.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Fruitful or Barren - What Will Your Spouse See?