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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Kill the Root Quickly - Bloom for God

As I headed out the door to church last Sunday, I sent up a quick prayer to the Lord in my thoughts, saying,  
"Jesus, help me to not have a root of bitterness towards my husband. Help me to let go of unmet expectations, disappointments, and awful feelings right now."

I know you might have struggled with the same thing.  We’re not unique.  There are many women living in a spiritually mismatched marriage that go to church - week in and week out alone.  We pull into the parking lot and sometimes just sit in the car – watching the other families heading into the building.  Other times we make our way into the sanctuary – scanning the crowd – looking for a place to settle in…alone.

You see – I have been attending church alone for quite some time now.  My husband has come on occasions like Christmas, Easter, and Mother’s Day.  He has attended some Sunday school socials with me and had brunch or dinner with the other couples in my class – but he isn’t really interested in church fellowship or the things of God.  I keep telling myself that one day it will all change.  He will actually verbalize a desire to go with me…  I won’t even have to ask him to come.

I’m well aware of the fact that we all have different life experiences with regards to church attendance and our childhoods.  My family was in the military.  We moved frequently and we did not attend church regularly.  I wasn’t interested in God until I was in my early 30’s with a small child of my own.  However, my husband grew up going to a religious school as a youngster, and attended church as part of his family’s tradition.  I personally don’t believe he ever really connected his heart with his actions.

When we married, neither of us entered a house of worship with any regularity or passion.  It wasn’t until a neighbor of mine invited me (with my young son) to attend church with her that I finally had my eyes “opened” to the True and Living God.  I was born again and a fire was lit within my heart for Jesus. That was 23 years ago.  Living in an unequally-yoked marriage for that length of time gives you greater perspective on what matters most in God’s eyes.

God’s Word tells us in Hebrews 12:14-15 to “Pursue peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:  looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any roof of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled”.   Pursuing peace involves action on our part.  We must submit our emotions and reactions to Him and not manifest outward frustrations to our spouse.  King David’s wife Michal had a root of bitterness fed by jealousy (2 Samuel 20-22).  We must “…cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…”  (II Corinthians 10:5).

After spending time in our flower beds this past week – I observed how some of the weeds had shallow roots and others were deeper.  When I pulled at them – trying to dislodge the weed - many times I simply broke off the plant, leaving roots just below the surface.  I merely removed what I saw – but underneath the soil the plant still existed.  It would burst up through the dirt again in time. I really hadn’t taken care of the problem.

Many times a root of bitterness can develop when we simply try to remove what we perceive is the surface problem.  However, deep below are the true causes of those weeds:  anger, resentment, jealousy, pride, and many more.  Roots need to be eradicated swiftly and completely in order for the weed to disappear for good.  It often requires digging it up with a sharp claw or tool that will loosen the dirt around the roots.  

God’s Word acts as our tool to dislodge the weeds that root in our soul.  He lovingly loosens our emotions and pulls out sin-filled thoughts by His Spirit, as He weeds our garden and prepares us for heavenly fruit bearing.  

When I am conflicted and overwhelmed with unkind thoughts towards my husband, I ask the Father to visit my flower bed and inspect it for weeds.  I don’t want a root of bitterness to ruin my Christian witness or affect my relationship at home. 

I hate pulling weeds and I imagine God probably doesn’t really enjoy doing it either…


Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit


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