The True Definition of Love...

Love begins when a person feels another person's needs to be as important as his own.    

~ Henry S. Sullivan

Love is a peculiar thing... it can often be a fleeting emotion or a stirring euphoria.  

Love is a verb - often encompassing the notion of cherishing or holding dear the object of your affection.

I Corinthians 13:4-13  is one of the most quoted Scripture passages in the Bible - especially during wedding ceremonies.

I began to think about the Apostle Paul's reminder to those in Corinth (and to us as well) to use our spiritual gifts in love.

In Gary Chapman's book  The 5 Love Languages  he lists number 4 as "acts of service". That brought me to a place of self-reflection with regards to my spiritually mismatched marriage.

Am I using my "acts of service" Love Language  with my spouse?  

How is he viewing it?

Here is my personal application of I Corinthians 13:4-8; 13  in my own unequally-yoked marriage:

1.       Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up (vs 4)

     ~  I am learning to have patience in the little things.  My husband is now fully retired, and that means he's home nearly all day every day. Be careful not to over-inflate your ego regarding your own “Christian” position. Don't be so full of yourself that you overlook their needs and desires.  Simple loving actions mean the world to your spouse – especially for us after being together for over 30+ years.  Familiarity can breed contempt, and you need to remind yourself that every day is a new day to show forth the love of Christ to your spouse.

2.       ... does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; (vs 5)

     ~ Applying my Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) are essential when ministering to my spouse.  It is easy to get overwhelmed and lose your temper.  I often pray an SOS prayer for God to help me with my replies (words) and my body language (actions) so as not to offend him.  I have to take my thoughts captive (II Corinthians 10:5) and redirect my wayward mindset.  I must resist being prideful and rude.

3.       ... does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; (vs 6)

     ~  I continually ask God to forgive me when I knowingly sin. If I say I do not sin, I deceive myself (I John 1:8-9).  I rejoice in the truth that God's love prevails and that His Sovereign will reigns. No matter what I face during times of turmoil and difficulty - God's love conquers all.

4.       ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 
(vs 7)

     ~  There is nothing that I cannot do with God's help.  Though I may bear the brunt of yelling or others' frustrations, I can treat them with respect and dignity.  I may be tired and discouraged, but I can extend grace and kindness. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) 

5.       Love never fails (vs 8)

     ~  My love for my husband needs to be unconditional - as is God's love for us.  When I am distraught and overwhelmed - my help comes from the Lord.  Agape love is a picture of Jesus living out through us in our actions and words.  We are an extension of Jesus' hands and feet.  "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

6.       And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love (vs 13)

    ~  In the end, all I know is that my "acts of service" are just what my husband needs right now.  Your marriage may be in a different phase than ours.  You may be a newlywed or have a young family. Have faith that God will enable you to love your spouse as He intended.

Here is a link to one of my past blog posts for Valentine’s Day 

that talks about showing “love” to those closest to us.   

    The Love Boat - Don't Miss It...

Finally, oftentimes I walk and pray and pour my heart out to God.  One day not long ago I said, "Lord, thank you that I have a good husband, a responsible provider, and a man that loves his family. Thank you Lord that You are my motivation and my help. You order my steps as I walk this path laid before me."

I encourage you to look deep within as you serve your spouse and use God's gifts to bring Him glory...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.   Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The True Definition of Love...

Valentine's Day - Do You Have That "Loving Feeling"?

Love is in the air... 

But is it in your marriage?  Do you demonstrate your love to your husband in the little things you do?  Does he see your love in action - even in the private moments?

Ephesians 5 commands us to walk in love towards one another. Paul was teaching on submitting to one another in the fear of God (verse 21). Husbands are admonished to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. The great mystery Paul talks about not only has to do with the “leaving and cleaving” in a physical union between and man and woman, but also of Christ and His Church. We leave the world and cleave unto Him.

When we marry, we forsake all others for our husband. We are his alone. Just as Israel played the harlot and was unfaithful to God, we too can become “unfaithful” in our marriage concerning our allegiance to our spouse. Our husband is our gift from above – our  completer, not our competitor. God wants our focus to be on our mate and our marriage. 

Paul’s last point in Ephesians 5 is, “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  This is the point:  women generally have no problem “loving” – but they often have difficulty “respecting” their husband. Honor and respect goes a long way in forging a lasting and healthy relationship. This applies whether you are both Christians, or if you are unequally-yoked in your marriage. God wills that the wife love and respect her husband.

The message that was given to the church at Ephesus in the book of Revelation was to the point and quite startling.  Jesus acknowledged their works, labor, patience and endurance. He commended their perseverance, but He also reprimanded them for one important thing:  they left their first love.  He told them to repent and do the first works.  

That got me to thinking...  If you don't abandon your first Love, you won't abandon your second love (your spouse).  Christ is the key to loving your husband in a way that brings glory to God.

God sent us a Valentine in Jesus...

He demonstrated His own love toward me, that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me (Romans 5:8).

For God so loved the world (me) that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believed in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

  

Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on me, that I should be called a child of God 

(I John 3:1).

By this I know love, because He laid down His life for me (I John 3:16).

Love Is In The Air -  (this will take you back a few years! - Disco style)

Show some love... I shared this list on my  Anniversary Blog Post  (January 2nd 2012)

“30 Things I Love Most About My Husband"

1. Funny
2. Romantic
3. Generous           
4. Careful
5. Sacrificial
6. Organized
7. Mindful
8.   (etc...)

Finally - share with me your thoughts on love...

What verse do you claim when you're not  "feeling the love" ?

What verse gives you the grace to love like Christ does in your marriage?

 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Valentine's Day - Do You Have That "Loving Feeling"?

Prince Charming or a Frog?

Do you ever look at your spouse and think, “Aren’t I supposed to end up with a Prince Charming? Isn’t that what fairy tales are all about?”

Whatever happened to hopes and dreams and ideals? Did we really think we’d end up living in a make believe world? Were our expectations unrealistic when we said, “I do”? Short of being swept away by a knight in shining armor – I’d say many of us would settle for the frog, as long as we had a chance of having it turn into a prince, right?

The world collectively held its breath as we watched the pageantry of the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. We anxiously waited for the magic kiss as they stepped onto the palace balcony before thousands of loyal subjects, eager to share in their marital bliss.

Let’s get real here… most of us will never marry a prince, much less see one. But there is a subtle parallel between a famous fairy tale and the fact that we are royalty – daughters of the King of Kings.

In the story The Frog Prince, by the Brothers Grimm, we have a recital of love in an unlikely pairing.  The tale began when the young princess took a walk by herself in the woods and rested by a cool spring of water. She had a particular golden ball which she favored as a play toy, and as she was tossing it into the air and catching it, the ball rolled into the water. Crying, she lamented that she would give everything up – her fine clothes, jewels, and all her riches in order to have it back again.

While she was speaking, a frog’s head emerged out of the water and inquired as to reason for her weeping. She was startled by his presence and with distain she said, “Alas! What can you do for me, you nasty frog? My golden ball has fallen into the spring.”


The frog merely stated that he was not interested in her riches, but if she would love him, and allow him to reside with her, eat with her and sleep in her bed chambers, he would retrieve her prized toy. She agreed and the frog dove into the water and came up with the ball in his mouth, placing it onto the edge of the spring.


As it happened, when the princess saw her golden ball, she ran to pick it up, forgetting all about the frog and his honorable deed. The next day, as she sat down to dinner, she heard a strange noise – as if something was gently knocking at the door. It was the frog! He said:

“Open the door, my princess dear; open the door to thy true love here!

And mind the words that thou and I said,
by the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.”

The King, her father, seeing that something was wrong, asked her what it was. “There is a nasty frog at the door,” she said, “that lifted my ball for me out of the spring yesterday morning.” “I told him he should live with me here, thinking that he could never get out of the spring; but here he is – waiting at the door.”

The king said to the young princess, “As you have given your word – so you must keep it; so go and let him in.” She obliged her father the king and opened the door. The frog hopped into the room, then up to the table where he insisted on sitting next to her to share in her meal. Afterwards, he asked to be carried upstairs to be put into her bed. At daylight, the frog disappeared. Thinking that he was gone for good, she resumed her day.

But she was sadly mistaken; for when night came again, she heard the same strange noise as the day before. Tap, tap on the door and the same plea as before. Again she let the frog accompany her to the dinner table and upstairs to bed. And as before, at day break, the frog disappeared once more. The third night repeated the whole scenario – right down to the frog laying its head on her pillow.

When the princess awoke on the following morning she was astonished to see, instead of the frog, a handsome prince, gazing on her with the most beautiful eyes she had ever beheld, as he stood at the head of her bed. He told her that he had been enchanted by a spiteful fairy, which had changed him into a frog. His fate had been to remain a frog until such time as a princess should take him out of the spring, and let him eat from her plate, and sleep upon her bed for three nights.

“You,” said the prince, “have broken this cruel charm, and now I have nothing to wish for but that you should go with me into my father’s kingdom, where I will marry you, and love you as long as you live.”

The young princess was not long in saying ‘Yes’ to all this; and as they spoke, a stunning coach drove up, with eight beautiful horses, decked with a golden harness and plumes of feathers. The king gave his blessing and they departed for the prince’s kingdom, where they lived happily ever after.

So – did I miss something here? What about the princess placing a well-planted kiss on the frog’s lips? Maybe that was another fable – but nonetheless – there is a moral to this story: Next time there’s a frog at your doorway – you might want to let him in! No, seriously; let’s look at this story from another prospective: Who is your prince charming? Should we really put that weight on the shoulders of our husband, or someone else who can handle the weight of the whole world?

There is a Prince [Charming], who not only laid His life down for you, but who also wants to spend eternity with you in His Father’s Kingdom. It isn’t any ordinary kingdom – but a place where the streets are pure gold and precious gems line the walls of the Celestial metropolis. There are mansions dotting the landscape and a crystal clear river running through it. Jesus Christ Himself prepared this place for us and He will usher in His Bride to their everlasting abode.

Our Prince knocks at the door of our hearts – waiting for the invitation to dine with us and abide with us. He desires fellowship with us; that we might enjoy the closeness He has with His Father. We are unaware of His beauty until we behold His Face and gaze into His loving eyes.

Make haste and kiss the Son. He is your Prince of Peace and King of the universe. He who cherishes His betrothed will come for her soon. Say “Yes” to His proposal and receive the blessing of His Father. You can live happily ever after for all eternity with Jesus Christ.

 (Ref:  John 14:1-3; Revelation 3:20; Revelation 21-22)  

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion. It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.

http://www.Godmissionpossible.com 

Prince Charming or a Frog?