A Valentine for Eternity

As women, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to take the extra steps to make sure that your husband, boyfriend, Dad, son, or any other important man in your life is made to feel very special. We are givers by nature, and we put much thought and energy into doing just the right things to show our love for them.

Concerning your husband - there is always the traditional candy, heart-felt greeting card, and favorite meal to appease them. But sometimes we just need to do more. If you are craft prone, you can create something unique for their office or man-cave. You might get them a gift card to their favorite “big-boys toy store” or let them know you’re taking them out for dinner! You can offer to go to a movie of their choosing, or buy them a half-hour massage at the local spa. The choices are endless.

All those things are great – but do you know what I bet they would really like? Okay, we already know what “we think they want”, but that’s not all that is on their mind.  I really believe they would like a straight-from-the-heart acknowledgement of how glad you are that you married them to begin with! Give them a “look in the eye” honest thank-you for all that you’ve been through together. Men desire our respect and love. Tell them that you’d marry them all over again – that they are just what God designed for you!  I Corinthians 13 is deemed the "love" chapter and is often quoted in weddings. Here is a post I did titled: Love Isn't Just for Valentine's Day

Ephesians 5 commands us to walk in love towards one another. The Apostle Paul is teaching on submitting to one another in the fear of God (verse 21). Husbands are admonished to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. The great mystery Paul talks about not only has to do with the “leaving and cleaving” in a physical holy union between and man and woman, but also of Christ and His Church. We leave the world and cleave unto Him. We forsake all others for our heavenly Husband. We are His alone. Just as Israel played the harlot and was unfaithful to God, we too can become “unfaithful” in our marriage concerning our allegiance. Our earthly husband is our gift from above – our completer, not our competitor. God wants our focus to be on our spouse and our marriage. That is our highest calling.

Paul’s last point in Ephesians 5 is, “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” The point of it is this: women generally have no problem “loving” – but they often have difficulty “respecting” their husband. Honor and respect goes a long way in forging a lasting, healthy and biblical relationship. This applies whether you are both Christians, or if you are unequally-yoked in your marriage. God wills that the wife respect her husband. Here is my post on this touchy subject: Respect: Who Needs It? (Part 1)

Peter lays out God’s perfect plan of submission with regards to women in marriage. I Peter 3 states, “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear [respect]."  Trusting God and His character is the key to showing respect to your spouse, even when it’s undeserved. God will honor your heart and motive. I wrote a blog post on Biblical submission here: Oh No - Not the "S" Word

On a personal note – do I always do everything just right? No way, not by any stretch of the imagination. Do my husband and I have ups and downs in our 36 year marriage? You bet! However, I learned early on in my Christian walk to show respect to my husband, even when I felt he didn’t deserve it. I don’t chide him in public, or belittle him in front of others. Just as a couple walking along the beach, love and respect go hand in hand.

When I first met my husband, he had a little garden area off of his patio at his apartment. He grew a variety of roses varying in color and size. I have always loved roses. That first day we met he presented me with a lovely single dark red rose. Throughout the years, I have received red roses on special occasions (one being the birth of our son), but more often than not – I have yearly received beautiful cards for Valentine’s Day displaying red roses on it.

What has touched my heart more than anything else over the years, has been a consistent hand-written note in the card saying that he loved me, and thanking God for me! This gesture of love comes from a man who has yet to make Jesus Christ the Lord of his life. I’m thankful that he sees the heart of God in me. How very humbling… To God be all the Glory!

    A Little History About Valentine’s Day -

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentines didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the 

oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. 

The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced 

in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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A Valentine for Eternity

Did Someone Say "Work"?

WORK -  The word itself conjures up sweat, time & effort. 

Webster in part defines work as:  sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.

Work is hard.  Work is...well, work! Marriage demands time and effort. Based on the definition above, what exactly is our objective or desired result?  According to God’s Word it is unity, honor, edification, submission to authority, spiritual fruit-bearing and unconditional love  (I Peter, I Corinthians and Ephesians). 

Often when we enter into marriage we come with preconceived ideas about what it should look like.  Sometimes we have high expectations.  We often drag our over-stuffed baggage into our marriage and begin to unpack it.  We just aren’t realistic about what a healthy God-patterned marriage should look like. It can be devastating, in an unequally-yoked marriage, if you don’t grasp the biblical teaching concerning your role as a believer in your union.  God's standards are high - but attainable.  Work is definitely involved if you want good results.

Back to the basics we go.  First, there needs to be unity in the marriage.  This can be difficult if only one spouse loves and serves the Lord.  You must be in unity with Christ first, and then you can be in unity with your spouse in the areas of your marriage that don’t contradict God’s Word.  Be at peace with everyone as much as depends on you (Romans 12:18).  Paul addressed the first-century church no different than he would today: submit to one another in love.  Ephesians 4:1-3 says, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Submission is such a misunderstood word in the church, especially for women.  Godly submission is taught in the book of Ephesians and in the book of Romans, and its premise is demonstrated throughout the Bible.  Christ is the Head [of the Church] and ideally the husband is submitted to His authority.  The wife is to be submitted to her husband in the Lord.   We all submit to some form of authority in our lives.  We begin by submitting to our parents, then teachers, law-enforcement, government, employers, church leaders, and others in society.  Submission is best illustrated in John chapter 17 as Jesus prayed for Himself and submitted to His Father’s will. 

We will exhibit spiritual fruit-bearing, worthy of the Lord, when we dig our roots deep into God’s Word and cultivate the soil of our hearts with His Spirit.  Galatians 5:16-18 tells us to “walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”  When we live a Spirit-filled life, we will display the fruits of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. This fruit-bearing should set us apart from those living in the world system.  As Christians, we need to display behavior that is God honoring and exemplifies Christ’s qualities that drew so many people unto Himself.

Finally, loving your spouse isn’t a feeling – it’s a commitment to do what is right.  God loved us “while we were yet sinners” and died for us (Romans 5:8).  We must love our spouses as Christ loves us without preconditions. You don't need a “litmus test” to see if they are worthy of our affections or not.  Love is the greatest of all virtues and does not fail.   I Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”  

 Love is something that we purpose in our heart to do for a lifetime. Our marriage partner deserves our love regardless of what society tells us in movies, TV shows, or in the public square.  We are obligated to "flesh out the love" God has for us, to our spouses in a tangible way – day by day.  

How do you make your marriage work for you instead of against you?  Study and show yourself approved by putting into practice what Scripture teaches (II Timothy 2:15).  Make a decision to conquer the obstacles that stand in your way of achieving a Godly marriage - one step at a time.

 Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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Did Someone Say "Work"?