WORK - The
word itself conjures up sweat, time & effort.
Webster in part defines
work as: sustained physical or mental
effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.
Work is hard. Work is...well, work! Marriage demands time and effort. Based on the definition above, what exactly is our
objective or desired result? According
to God’s Word it is unity, honor, edification, submission to authority, spiritual fruit-bearing
and unconditional love (I Peter, I Corinthians and Ephesians).
Often when we enter
into marriage we come with preconceived ideas about what it should look like. Sometimes we have high expectations. We often drag our over-stuffed
baggage into our marriage and begin to unpack it. We just aren’t realistic about
what a healthy God-patterned marriage should look like. It can be devastating, in an unequally-yoked marriage, if you don’t grasp the biblical teaching
concerning your role as a believer in your union. God's standards are high - but attainable. Work is definitely involved if you want good results.
Back to the basics we
go. First, there needs to be unity in
the marriage. This can be difficult if
only one spouse loves and serves the Lord.
You must be in unity with Christ first, and then you can be in unity with your
spouse in the areas of your marriage that don’t contradict God’s Word. Be at peace with everyone as much as depends
on you (Romans 12:18). Paul addressed
the first-century church no different than he would today: submit to one
another in love. Ephesians 4:1-3 says,
“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to have a walk worthy of
the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with
longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity
of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Submission is such a
misunderstood word in the church, especially for women. Godly submission is taught in the book of
Ephesians and in the book of Romans, and its premise is demonstrated throughout
the Bible. Christ is the Head [of the
Church] and ideally the husband is submitted to His authority. The wife is to be submitted to her husband in the Lord. We all submit to some form of authority in
our lives. We begin by submitting to our
parents, then teachers, law-enforcement, government, employers, church leaders,
and others in society. Submission is best illustrated
in John chapter 17 as Jesus prayed for Himself and submitted to His Father’s will.
We will exhibit
spiritual fruit-bearing, worthy of the Lord, when we dig our roots deep into
God’s Word and cultivate the soil of our hearts with His Spirit. Galatians 5:16-18 tells us to “walk in the
Spirit, and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” When we live a Spirit-filled life, we will
display the fruits of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness,
gentleness, and self-control. This fruit-bearing should set us apart from those
living in the world system. As
Christians, we need to display behavior that is God honoring and exemplifies
Christ’s qualities that drew so many people unto Himself.
Finally, loving your
spouse isn’t a feeling – it’s a commitment to do what is right. God loved us “while we were yet sinners” and
died for us (Romans 5:8). We must love
our spouses as Christ loves us without preconditions. You don't need a “litmus test” to see
if they are worthy of our affections or not.
Love is the greatest of all virtues and does not fail. I Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, “Love
suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is
not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks
no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all
things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Love is something that we purpose in our
heart to do for a lifetime. Our marriage partner deserves our love regardless of what society
tells us in movies, TV shows, or in the public square. We are obligated to "flesh out the love" God
has for us, to our spouses in a tangible way – day by day.
How do you make your marriage work for you instead of against you? Study and show yourself approved by putting into practice what Scripture teaches (II Timothy 2:15). Make a decision to conquer the obstacles that stand in your way of achieving a Godly marriage - one step at a time.
Deborah is the
author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord
Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion. It will encourage and challenge the reader to
embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit
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Excellent article! It saddens me how people just give up now a days. Even though there are times it 'feels' like work, it is oh so worth it to push through! God is faithful.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting Christena! I agree with you - too often couples just "throw in the towel" and march off to divorce court. Hard work is God ordained and too few want to put in the effort. So sad...
DeleteAs in all relationships, it must begin with respect. Respect your spouse above all else. My husband and I have great respect for each other, for our goals and our beliefs. Even though he is not a Believer, he is a good man with high principles, which I can respect. He respects my faith, supporting me even though he does not attend church. Maybe he will someday. Out of respect I do not harangue him about services or prayer. I choose to encourage by example. Great article, Deborah. Many excellent points to savor and reflect on.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the Godly wisdom you shared here Cecilia. Indeed, respect is paramount in the marriage relationship. God has admonished me more than once when I failed to obey that command. Honoring our husbands by showing them respect gladdens the heart of God. And yes, Christs's example through our actions is the best witness. Be blessed.
ReplyDelete