God's Amazing Love

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This is the last in my series  Elder Care – My Dad’s Journey.  If you missed my previous posts you can visit them here: 

Love Isn't Just for Valentine's Day

Moving Forward

Christmas - Great Expectations?

Since my post in February, my Dad passed away after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.  He died peacefully in early March on a Sunday night with his wife and two daughters by his side.

Dad’s funeral memorialized his service to his country and his community.  He was a retired US Naval officer (pilot) and a retired high school math teacher.  He volunteered with several local charities and encouraged many in his day to day activities.

I shared some personal memories during his service including the following:

I am the firstborn of two daughters. Dad made a great choice…we’re both excellent cooks!

Our Dad was the kind of guy who went out of his way to play with us, read to us, and just act“silly” with us. We watched Mighty Mouse together, marched around the living room to“Sing Along with Mitch”, and never missed an episode of Lassie on Sunday nights.

Dad taught us to throw a ball, ride a bike, make a fort and drive a car. His greatest gift to us was his time. He always DID things with us.

Later on when we were teenagers – he had immense patience. These were the days of hang-ten T-shirts, sun-in hair lightener, and camera flash-cubes. The “70’s” brought platform shoes, bell-bottoms, and mini-skirts, though I was not allowed to wear them. We enjoyed an adventurous life as kids of a naval officer, and learned to make friends easily.

Dad gave us great advice, though we didn’t always heed it. He always expressed his love for us and helped to foster our healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

He was delighted to welcome into this world his only grandson and has always enjoyed their time together.  He was a “hands on” kind of Grandpa – often playing outside, or helping him with a project, reading a book together, or just goofing around.

Dad lived a full life and enjoyed traveling while in the Navy, helping his students at Orange Park High grasp otherwise difficult math concepts, and volunteered with various local organizations when retired.

Over the years our relationship went through a metamorphosis of sorts. I put a strain on it when I left home in the early 1970’s to marry my first husband.  I was 17 years old and he was 21. It ended in divorce four years later.  Dad was never pleased with my decision, but he and my mother supported me nonetheless.  Later on he and I patched up the rift.  After my marriage to my current husband, things improved greatly between us. My husband and I recently celebrated 32 years of marriage this past January.  Dad always loved him and said he could not have chosen a better son-in-law himself.

A few years ago, while walking his two little dogs in their neighborhood, we began a conversation centered on his childhood and going to church.  His parents belonged to a certain denomination and had a falling-out with their church, which caused them to leave.  He never attended church again until he married my mom.  He was never a particularly religious person and was not involved in a local church.

Right then and there I shared my faith journey with him and told him, “Dad, it’s not about religion, or denomination, or even a one-time experience… it’s about a relationship with The Living God, your Creator, the lover of your soul.”

I related that story to the crowd at his funeral and asked those in attendance to let me know if they wanted to know more about have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I had given my life and heart to Jesus at the age of 33.  I wanted to honor God in that moment by extending an invitation to the many family and friends at his service.

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)

Eleventh-hour conversions are not uncommon. You hear them on the battle field or perhaps after a horrific accident. In Luke 23:39-43 our Lord and two criminals had been nailed to their crosses. Jesus welcomed a repentant sinner into heaven right before he died. One of the thieves, recognizing that he was a sinner – rightly condemned for his crimes, rebuked the other thief and proclaimed Jesus’ innocence. When he asked to be remembered in His future kingdom, Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”

The morning before my Dad died I had the honor and privilege of spending time alone with him. My mother and sister were unable to come until later that afternoon. I knew time was short.  His breathing had changed.- it was shallow and a bit labored.  His eyes were unresponsive.  I held his hand and told him I loved him.  I relayed to him that my sister and I would take good care of my Mom. I squeezed his hand several times and stroked his brow – but he did not respond. 

I had been watching the TV in his room and switched channels to the Sunday morning church program In Touch with Dr. Charles F Stanley. It is one of my favorite shows. Dad and I listed to his message (although he didn't acknowledge it) and at the end Dr. Stanley had a very poignant invitation to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  

My prayer is that my Dad did make peace with God in the quiet of his heart and the moments before he took his last breath on this earth.

I trust God has been pleased with my attitude, actions and words while I cared for my Dad. He spent many days in the hospital prior to his final stay at the adjacent nursing home facility.  I knew the nurses and attendants on both the morning and the evening shifts by name.  They were wonderful, compassionate caregivers, and they treated him with such dignity and love.

God bless you Dad… you will be greatly missed.

I implore you, don't leave earth without being certain of your salvation. If you are in doubt - please read my post It's Not About Religion - It's About Relationship

My chains are gone, I’ve been set free

My God my Savior has ransomed me,

And like a flood, His mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing Grace

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) - by Chris Tomlin 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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God's Amazing Love

In the Eye of the Beholder

Okay, so we know that men (and our husbands in particular) are visual creatures…

In her book,  For Women Only – Shaunti Feldhahn tells her readers that she believes God created man “with two strong tendencies to be visually driven”.  One is that a woman with a great body is an eye magnet, and the other is that each man has a mental rolodex of stored images that can intrude into his thought life at random.

Shaunti goes on to say, “…You love your husband as a man, and this characteristic is part of what makes him a man. Even if your husband is the finest man in all the earth, and even if you were a gorgeous model, your husband would still have this vulnerability…”  “Remember the garden in Genesis 2:23?  Adam was excited to see Eve. He was visually attracted to his new mate.”

Proverbs 27:20 says, “The eyes of man are never satisfied” (KJV).

Men have an obligation to their wives to “forsake all others” according to the vows they take during their marital ceremony.  Looking is not adultery.  However, looking can lead to sin, as evidenced by King David in II Samuel 11:1-5.  God has wired men to be stimulated by sight.  Only He knows why He did it. However, Job makes an important statement about his personal integrity with regards to other women: “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?” (Job 31:1).

I personally believe it is important to look attractive for your spouse, as well as for your own self-esteem. Going to the gym or exercising at home, eating right, getting plenty of sleep, grooming and dressing appropriately for your age are all needful to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. 

My husband might gaze at another woman for a moment, and admire her shape, but he’s out in public with me.  It’s important to him that he is out with a woman that is attractive and happy with herself and her appearance.  Let me give you an example:

A few years ago my sister-in-law was living with us for a brief period while she was separated from her husband.  She is the eldest of four siblings.  My husband is the youngest.  I was working late one evening and we agreed that I would meet the two of them for dinner near our home.  My sister-in-law didn’t make a real effort that night to look as presentable as she could have.  When they arrived at the restaurant, the manager asked him if he and his wife would like a booth or a table.  Well, that really bugged him and I heard all about it.  He was used to going out in public with me.  I generally look nice and neat, with hair and makeup done.  He said, “From now on you come home first so we can ride together and be seated together!” 

He was simply embarrassed by the whole ordeal and felt uncomfortable with a woman who wasn’t dressed well.   He valued the initiative I took to look presentable for him.  It made him feel proud to have me by his side. 

I imagine Adam was elated to have Eve by his side, as she was attractive and made him feel complete.

I say all that to say this:  I may not be a “head turner” or look like I used to 35 years ago, but I do try to take good care of myself and work with what I have!  I make sure that when I go out with my husband, I make him proud to be out in public with me.  Men have pride in their mates and it’s in their nature to show off their wife – even if it’s subconsciously. 

However, our self-image should not be solely in our appearance.  God’s Word tells us in I Peter 3:3-4 “Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

We know in Genesis 12:11-20 that Abram referred to his wife Sarai as “a woman of beautiful countenance”.  It was not only her physical beauty that made her attractive, but her quiet and gentle spirit.  She drew the attention of others – including Pharaoh himself on more than one occasion – which caused Abram severe anxiety.  But more likely she exhibited those qualities coveted by women who are more interested in pleasing the heart of God, than in pleasing the eyes of men.

Colossians 3:12-14 exhort us to “…put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, forgiveness and above all – put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”  Paul admonishes us to “put on” these qualities which exhibit the very nature of God by deliberate effort. That is what is truly attractive to our spouses and the world around us.

What do we do with our desire to look good for our man and our devotion to the Lord?  

We can honor both with our actions and decisions.  We can model God’s attributes while we care for our temples.  We can strive to preserve our physical bodies as we vow to nurture our spiritual ones.

Don’t be caught up in the latest fashion trend, spray tan, or age-defying beauty treatments.  Keep your eyes on your Creator.  He will preserve you and give you a healthy glow.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”  (Proverbs 31:30)

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

In the Eye of the Beholder