Showing posts with label elderly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elderly. Show all posts

Monday, March 24, 2014

God's Amazing Love

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This is the last in my series  Elder Care – My Dad’s Journey.  If you missed my previous posts you can visit them here: 


Since my post in February, my Dad passed away after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.  He died peacefully in early March on a Sunday night with his wife and two daughters by his side.

Dad’s funeral memorialized his service to his country and his community.  He was a retired US Naval officer (pilot) and a retired high school math teacher.  He volunteered with several local charities and encouraged many in his day to day activities.

I shared some personal memories during his service including the following:

I am the firstborn of two daughters. Dad made a great choice…we’re both excellent cooks!

Our Dad was the kind of guy who went out of his way to play with us, read to us, and just act“silly” with us. We watched Mighty Mouse together, marched around the living room to“Sing Along with Mitch”, and never missed an episode of Lassie on Sunday nights.

Dad taught us to throw a ball, ride a bike, make a fort and drive a car. His greatest gift to us was his time. He always DID things with us.

Later on when we were teenagers – he had immense patience. These were the days of hang-ten T-shirts, sun-in hair lightener, and camera flash-cubes. The “70’s” brought platform shoes, bell-bottoms, and mini-skirts, though I was not allowed to wear them. We enjoyed an adventurous life as kids of a naval officer, and learned to make friends easily.

Dad gave us great advice, though we didn’t always heed it. He always expressed his love for us and helped to foster our healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

He was delighted to welcome into this world his only grandson and has always enjoyed their time together.  He was a “hands on” kind of Grandpa – often playing outside, or helping him with a project, reading a book together, or just goofing around.

Dad lived a full life and enjoyed traveling while in the Navy, helping his students at Orange Park High grasp otherwise difficult math concepts, and volunteered with various local organizations when retired.

Over the years our relationship went through a metamorphosis of sorts. I put a strain on it when I left home in the early 1970’s to marry my first husband.  I was 17 years old and he was 21. It ended in divorce four years later.  Dad was never pleased with my decision, but he and my mother supported me nonetheless.  Later on he and I patched up the rift.  After my marriage to my current husband, things improved greatly between us. My husband and I recently celebrated 32 years of marriage this past January.  Dad always loved him and said he could not have chosen a better son-in-law himself.



A few years ago, while walking his two little dogs in their neighborhood, we began a conversation centered on his childhood and going to church.  His parents belonged to a certain denomination and had a falling-out with their church, which caused them to leave.  He never attended church again until he married my mom.  He was never a particularly religious person and was not involved in a local church.

Right then and there I shared my faith journey with him and told him, “Dad, it’s not about religion, or denomination, or even a one-time experience… it’s about a relationship with The Living God, your Creator, the lover of your soul.”

I related that story to the crowd at his funeral and asked those in attendance to let me know if they wanted to know more about have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I had given my life and heart to Jesus at the age of 33.  I wanted to honor God in that moment by extending an invitation to the many family and friends at his service.

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)

Eleventh-hour conversions are not uncommon. You hear them on the battle field or perhaps after a horrific accident. In Luke 23:39-43 our Lord and two criminals had been nailed to their crosses. Jesus welcomed a repentant sinner into heaven right before he died. One of the thieves, recognizing that he was a sinner – rightly condemned for his crimes, rebuked the other thief and proclaimed Jesus’ innocence. When he asked to be remembered in His future kingdom, Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”

The morning before my Dad died I had the honor and privilege of spending time alone with him. My mother and sister were unable to come until later that afternoon. I knew time was short.  His breathing had changed.- it was shallow and a bit labored.  His eyes were unresponsive.  I held his hand and told him I loved him.  I relayed to him that my sister and I would take good care of my Mom. I squeezed his hand several times and stroked his brow – but he did not respond. 

I had been watching the TV in his room and switched channels to the Sunday morning church program In Touch with Dr. Charles F Stanley. It is one of my favorite shows. Dad and I listed to his message (although he didn't acknowledge it) and at the end Dr. Stanley had a very poignant invitation to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  

My prayer is that my Dad did make peace with God in the quiet of his heart and the moments before he took his last breath on this earth.

I trust God has been pleased with my attitude, actions and words while I cared for my Dad. He spent many days in the hospital prior to his final stay at the adjacent nursing home facility.  I knew the nurses and attendants on both the morning and the evening shifts by name.  They were wonderful, compassionate caregivers, and they treated him with such dignity and love.

God bless you Dad… you will be greatly missed.

I implore you, don't leave earth without being certain of your salvation. If you are in doubt - please read my post It's Not About Religion - It's About Relationship


My chains are gone, I’ve been set free
My God my Savior has ransomed me,
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing Grace

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) - by Chris Tomlin 











Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.



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Friday, February 14, 2014

Love isn't just for Valentine's Day...

Image credit: 123RF Stock Photo
Love is a peculiar thing... it can often be a fleeting emotion or a stirring euphoria.   

Love is a verb - often encompassing the notion of cherishing or holding dear the object of your affection.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 is one of the most quoted Scripture passages in the Bible - especially during wedding ceremonies.

I began to think about Paul's reminder to those in Corinth (and to us as well) to use our spiritual gifts in love.

In Gary Chapman's book  The 5 Love Languages  he lists number 4 as "acts of service". That brought me to a place of self-reflection with regards to my parents, their care, and my involvement as their primary care-giver.  Am I using my "acts of service" Love Language  to help them?  How are they viewing it?

Image credit: 123RF Stock Photo
If you're not familiar with my current situation in caring for my aging parents, my previous posts  Christmas - Keeping It Real  and  Moving Forward  will give you some background material. There are many decisions to be made in the near future concerning my parents that must be bathed in prayer and Godly wisdom.

Honoring my mother and father is my duty as a follower of Christ. That includes how I act and react to their ever-changing circumstances.

Here is my personal application of I Corinthians 13 to my recent interactions with my parents...

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up (vs 4)

     ~  I am learning to have patience in the little things.  Elderly parents don't like to have their schedules, daily routines, or personal "ways of doing things" changed.  Be careful not to over-inflate your ego regarding your care-giving or how much time you are spending on their behalf.  Don't be so full of yourself that you overlook their true needs and desires.  Simple loving actions mean the world to those who have limited mobility or can no longer come and go as they please.

... does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; (vs 5)

     ~ Applying my Fruits of the Spirit are essential when ministering to my parents.  It is easy to get overwhelmed and lose your temper.  I often pray an SOS prayer for God to help me with my replies (words) and my body language (actions) so as not to offend them.  I have to take my thoughts captive (II Corinthians 10:5) and redirect my wayward mindset. 

... does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; (vs 6)

     ~  I continually ask God to forgive me when I knowingly sin. If I say I do not sin, I deceive myself (I John 1:8-9).  I rejoice in the truth that God's love prevails and that His Sovereign will reigns. No matter what I face during this time of turmoil and difficulty - God's love conquers all.

... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (vs 7)

     ~  There is nothing that I cannot do with God's help.  I may bear the brunt of yelling or others' frustrations, but I can treat them with respect and dignity.  I may be tired and discouraged, but I can extend grace and kindness. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)  

Love never fails (vs 8)

     ~  My love for my parents needs to be unconditional - as God's love is for us.  Agape love is Jesus living out through us in our actions and words.  We are an extension of Jesus' hands and feet.  "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 


 In the end, all I know is that my "acts of service" are just what my parents need right now.  I was out last week with their two little dogs, and I remember talking with the Lord while we walked.  I said, "Lord, thank you that I still have my parents and can minister to them through your strength."  "Thank you Lord that You are my loving motivator and You order my steps as I walk this path laid before me."

I encourage you to look deep within as you serve others and use God's gifts to bring Him glory...









Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

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