4 Wedding Warnings We Should NOT Ignore

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.  (Philippians 2:1-4)



Our Marriages are the testing ground for God to win us to himself. Our marriages are basic training for the one Marriage that will not disappoint.
~ Dan Allender & Tremper Longhman III


Christianity has long called us to this truth: Marriage must be about more than itself because love that does not serve life will die.
~ Evelyn & James Whitehead


How great, then, is the constraint in marriage, which subjects even the stronger to the other; for by mutual constraint each is bound to serve. Nor if one wishes to refrain can he withdraw his neck from the yoke, for he is subject to the [desires] of the other... You see how plainly the servitude of marriage is defined.
~ Ambrose


Marriage is hard work.

It requires humility and sacrifice. It calls us to a higher place of denial and selfless service. The Apostle Paul wrote his eloquent passage on "love" in I Corinthians 13:4-8 which is often recited during wedding ceremonies. He also addresses marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33.

Marriage takes teamwork.  It requires a "give & take" attitude and often calls for setting aside your views and wishes for those of your mate. Many couples simply don't take time to reflect sufficiently on the tremendous commitment they are undertaking in marriage.

Let's take this scenario as an example:  

Someone you know is getting married.  You saw the day coming and you are happy for them. Months of preparation have gone into their impending nuptials. The wedding date is quickly approaching - but you begin to see warning signs of trouble ahead. Maybe they are not made for each other after all.

How would you confront your friend? Would you tell them you were concerned that their decision to marry might be the wrong one? Could you honestly share your heart with them and plead for them to reconsider?

Spiritually speaking, as Christians, we have a wedding date in the future with our Groom [Jesus Christ]. Do we take seriously the pledge to our future husband? Do we contemplate life with our beloved? Are we keeping ourselves pure for Him only?

Here are four wedding warnings in the spiritual realm we shouldn't ignore:

1.  We have little or no preparation -  Ephesians 5:26 tells us that Jesus cleanses us with the washing of water by the word [of God]. Time spent in the holy Scriptures allows the Spirit to test our hearts and search our minds - conforming us to His standards and not the world's. Our outward appearance as a Christian and primping for the public eye is useless if we do not concern ourselves with our inner beauty and purity.


2.  We have a wandering eye -  Our God is a jealous God. We are the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8). When we yearn and lust after the world, we demonstrate our wandering heart. God repeatedly chastised the nation of Israel for playing the harlot. Hosea 2:19-20 tells us that God betroths us to Himself forever.  Longing for yesteryear or days gone by with affection is dangerous and deadly. Every believer in Jesus Christ needs to have "eyes for Him only".


3.  We don't take it seriously -  How often do we "play games" with our spiritual heritage. Well meaning rituals, programs, even service to God can become mechanical and habitual. Our focus on the Lord Jesus must be heartfelt and genuine. Our lame attempt at sincere devotion is evident when we dismiss meaningful engagement with other believers or avoid church wide commitment. Brides look forward to their wedding.


4.   We lack fervent anticipation -  Longing for our Lord Jesus is key to our heart's desire to be with Him for all eternity.  Matthew 25:1-13 says that the virgins that were waiting for the bridegroom were a divided lot. Half of them were wise and half of them were foolish.  The wise virgins had the oil they needed for their lamps when he came unexpectedly. The Apostle Paul also expressed great joy in anticipating Christ's return in I Thessalonians 2:19 and I Thessalonians 4:16-17. True love waits with a longing that is easily recognizable.


Marriage is a lifetime commitment. That means it is permanent. God intended that a man and a women would be partners for their entire natural life. Christ and His church is the heavenly portrait of what our marriage on earth should be patterned after. It is also a glimpse of our relationship with Him for eternity as we are the bride of Christ.

May and June are traditional wedding months for many couples. Take some personal time to reflect on your commitment to a Groom who loves you with an everlasting love...

Here are two of my "favorite posts" on Marriage and Weddings

                                                             Love and Marriage                    

If you follow Christ

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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4 Wedding Warnings We Should NOT Ignore

In the Eye of the Beholder

Okay, so we know that men (and our husbands in particular) are visual creatures…

In her book,  For Women Only – Shaunti Feldhahn tells her readers that she believes God created man “with two strong tendencies to be visually driven”.  One is that a woman with a great body is an eye magnet, and the other is that each man has a mental rolodex of stored images that can intrude into his thought life at random.

Shaunti goes on to say, “…You love your husband as a man, and this characteristic is part of what makes him a man. Even if your husband is the finest man in all the earth, and even if you were a gorgeous model, your husband would still have this vulnerability…”  “Remember the garden in Genesis 2:23?  Adam was excited to see Eve. He was visually attracted to his new mate.”

Proverbs 27:20 says, “The eyes of man are never satisfied” (KJV).

Men have an obligation to their wives to “forsake all others” according to the vows they take during their marital ceremony.  Looking is not adultery.  However, looking can lead to sin, as evidenced by King David in II Samuel 11:1-5.  God has wired men to be stimulated by sight.  Only He knows why He did it. However, Job makes an important statement about his personal integrity with regards to other women: “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?” (Job 31:1).

I personally believe it is important to look attractive for your spouse, as well as for your own self-esteem. Going to the gym or exercising at home, eating right, getting plenty of sleep, grooming and dressing appropriately for your age are all needful to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. 

My husband might gaze at another woman for a moment, and admire her shape, but he’s out in public with me.  It’s important to him that he is out with a woman that is attractive and happy with herself and her appearance.  Let me give you an example:

A few years ago my sister-in-law was living with us for a brief period while she was separated from her husband.  She is the eldest of four siblings.  My husband is the youngest.  I was working late one evening and we agreed that I would meet the two of them for dinner near our home.  My sister-in-law didn’t make a real effort that night to look as presentable as she could have.  When they arrived at the restaurant, the manager asked him if he and his wife would like a booth or a table.  Well, that really bugged him and I heard all about it.  He was used to going out in public with me.  I generally look nice and neat, with hair and makeup done.  He said, “From now on you come home first so we can ride together and be seated together!” 

He was simply embarrassed by the whole ordeal and felt uncomfortable with a woman who wasn’t dressed well.   He valued the initiative I took to look presentable for him.  It made him feel proud to have me by his side. 

I imagine Adam was elated to have Eve by his side, as she was attractive and made him feel complete.

I say all that to say this:  I may not be a “head turner” or look like I used to 35 years ago, but I do try to take good care of myself and work with what I have!  I make sure that when I go out with my husband, I make him proud to be out in public with me.  Men have pride in their mates and it’s in their nature to show off their wife – even if it’s subconsciously. 

However, our self-image should not be solely in our appearance.  God’s Word tells us in I Peter 3:3-4 “Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

We know in Genesis 12:11-20 that Abram referred to his wife Sarai as “a woman of beautiful countenance”.  It was not only her physical beauty that made her attractive, but her quiet and gentle spirit.  She drew the attention of others – including Pharaoh himself on more than one occasion – which caused Abram severe anxiety.  But more likely she exhibited those qualities coveted by women who are more interested in pleasing the heart of God, than in pleasing the eyes of men.

Colossians 3:12-14 exhort us to “…put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, forgiveness and above all – put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”  Paul admonishes us to “put on” these qualities which exhibit the very nature of God by deliberate effort. That is what is truly attractive to our spouses and the world around us.

What do we do with our desire to look good for our man and our devotion to the Lord?  

We can honor both with our actions and decisions.  We can model God’s attributes while we care for our temples.  We can strive to preserve our physical bodies as we vow to nurture our spiritual ones.

Don’t be caught up in the latest fashion trend, spray tan, or age-defying beauty treatments.  Keep your eyes on your Creator.  He will preserve you and give you a healthy glow.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”  (Proverbs 31:30)

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

In the Eye of the Beholder