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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

The Biggest Loser Isn't Always Better

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Forgiveness is a difficult concept to embrace. It calls for the release of resentment. It pardons an offense. It gives up its claim for retaliation. It grants relief from a debt owed.

So why do we struggle so much with forgiveness? One obvious reason is that we don't want to relinquish our control over an emotion that makes us venerable. 

During your marriage you will have decisions to make regarding forgiveness. Some will be easy. Others will not be so easy. They can range from trust issues to belittling comments, from embarrassment to indifference. Reasons for extending forgiveness are as varied and diversified as the human beings they represent. There are times we extend forgiveness at the drop of a hat. Then again, we might choose to hold onto hurt feelings and withhold forgiveness as some manipulative maneuver to gain control. 

Here is a link to a Blog post I wrote concerning criticism  Check Your Eye - I See a Speck


We know the world has it's own definition, but what does God's Word say about forgiveness?

Following the model prayer in Matthew 6, Jesus said this, "For if you forgive men this trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Paul writes the following in Colossians 3:12-14 regarding your new creation in Christ: "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

Lastly, in Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus teaches Peter and the rest of the disciples about forgiveness in the parable of the unjust servant and his master. Not only did Jesus tell Peter that he should forgive others up to seventy times seven (indefinitely) - but that He would judge each of them who does not forgive from his heart anyone who had trespassed against his brother.

A wise man once said this:  "He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass."




Remember to "take every thought captive, unto the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5). Pray and ask God to realign your will with His. Ask Him to do a refining work in you. Forgiveness is a choice that you must exercise - both in the spiritual and natural realms. God will do miracles in your marriage when you learn to forgive as Christ forgave you, and as you model the grace and humility embodied in a Christ follower.

Here is a link to a post I wrote on putting on your armor  Are You Properly Dressed for Battle?


"I can forgive, but I cannot forget," is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive."  ~Anonymous


In Matthew 10:39 Jesus said, "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."  Losing your claim to your own sense of justification will bring freedom and release from the prison of unforgiveness. 

Ultimately, you are the loser  if you do not deal with an unforgiving spirit. You must "give up" your right to your own feelings and place them in the loving and capable hands of the Lord. He will prepare your heart for the gift of forgiveness and will enable you to extend it to others...







Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

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