About The Author

My photo

Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

If You Follow Christ – What Will It Cost You?

Living in an unequally-yoked household is never easy.  

It’s Sunday morning again and you’re dreading what’s ahead.  Do you get yourself and your child ready for church and head out the door, knowing full well that you might have another confrontation when you return?  Maybe you don’t even get a reply when you ask if your spouse would like to accompany you to church.  Whatever the scenario at your house – it can be costly…

Read the following contemporary rendering of Matthew 10:34-39 from The Message

“Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut – make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law – cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God.  Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies.  If you prefer father or mother over me, you don’t deserve me.  If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don’t deserve me.  If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me.  If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself.  But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.”

…and Luke 12:51-53 from The Message

“Do you think I came to smooth things over and make everything nice?  Not so.  I’ve come to disrupt and confront!  From now on, when you find five in a house, it will be-
Three against two, and two against three;
            Father against son, and son against father;
Mother against daughter, and daughter against mother;
Mother-in-law against bride, and bride against mother-in-law.”

Wow! Could it be any clearer?  Is it just me, or doesn’t it sound like we might as well be prepared for some rough days ahead at home.  A spiritual battle rages as we step out in faith to live our lives for Christ.  There will be turmoil.  There will be indifference.  There will be distain for your love of the Lord.  Get used to it!

I’m not trying to be ugly here.  No, I’m trying to get your attention!  You must be spiritually prepared for the day to day challenges of living in a marriage where you don’t see eye to eye. You must stay “prayed up” and battle ready or your enemy will take advantage of your situation.  That enemy is none other than Satan – the one who is the father of lies, and he wants you to think that your marriage will never be any different than it is right now.  Lies!

One thing that got my attention was the word “cut”.  The New King James Bible version says, “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth, I did not come to bring peace but a sword.”  The significance of the verse is not in doing violence to those with whom you disagree, but a realization that you will be challenged by the power of the gospel to separate yourself unto Him.  There must be a severing of any relationship that gets between you and Jesus Christ.  The sword is the Word of God and it will be the arbitrator in any spiritual disagreement.  Scripture tells us that Jesus Himself was divisive and provoked many to rage.  The Word cuts to the core of our being – and it hurts!  It reveals the hidden things of the inner man.

Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

The following paragraph is from my book Mission Possible  Chapter 1  You’ve Embraced Christ – Now What?  

"The spiritual skirmish had begun. Don’t underestimate the enemy. I did not fully understand spiritual warfare and would learn about that as time progressed.  I began to grow in my understanding of God’s Word and how Satan opposes a couple’s holy union.  I would learn about “putting on the whole armor of God” (Ephesians 6:10-19).  I would learn that “standing firm” was mandatory - - not an option.  My spiritual clothing was necessary for survival as “half of a saved couple”.  God desires for you to become “one flesh” – at the altar and in the spirit realm.  Satan can’t bear the thought of it.  This is where your perseverance plays a huge part."

So – what does following Christ cost you?  Probably not your life.  Most likely not your marriage.  But it will cost you something...  Jesus is worth whatever it is in light of eternity. You may have some spirited disagreements and tearful pleas.  There may be lonely periods in the days ahead as you embrace your spiritual destiny.  Jesus knows your struggles.  Grow in grace with Him and leave the results in His hands.   

One more thing...
I have heard sermons that reference Matthew 19:29-30, Mark 10:28-30, and Luke 18:28-30 as food for thought regarding your spouse and whether or not it would be an occasion for abandoning them for Jesus.  Paul addresses that issue in I Corinthians 7:12-16.   We know that Peter stayed married while following and serving Jesus. In his case, his wife was a believer according to several extra-Biblical sources.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who lovethe Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 




  1. Encouraging post, sister! Being unequally yoked is a great training ground for learning to keep the Lord ahead of your spouse. Oftentimes, that's the only way to be able to cope with your spouse.

    (Being unequally yoked to either a believing or an unbelieving husband is far too common. I'm reminded of the poem, "God, Give Us Men!")

  2. Thanks for your kind comments Laura. Indeed, coping with those struggles while maintaining your Christian witness is only possible by relying on Him and His strength in us.

    God bless...
    (p.s. Great poem by the way...)

  3. This was neat - I'm fortunate to have married a wonderful Christian man, but I have several friends who, at church, are "half a couple" because the spouse won't come. I can't imagine how frustrating that would be on the homefront!
    Thanks for a great post!
    :) Mags, everydayplaces.blogspot.com

  4. You bless me Mags! Thanks for the encouragement! God's grace keeps us going, Amen? Please spread the word about my Blog and book for those who struggle in a spiritually mismatched marriage. God bless... :)



Related Posts with Thumbnails