About The Author

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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Greener Grass or Just an Illusion?

You just witnessed a scenario play out in a local restaurant. The couple seated across the room was laughing, conversing and enjoying each other's company.  The husband actually beamed as he listened intently to her words.  They were so engaged with each other that they seemed oblivious to everyone else around them.

Maybe you observed a couple in church as they sat close to each other – reading the Word together and taking in the pastor’s sermon with great interest.  As the husband puts his arm around his wife, you feel a little uncomfortable sitting by yourself.

Perhaps you notice your neighbor’s husband strolling down the sidewalk with her by his side.  They are discussing something interesting because they nod and affirm each other's words repeatedly.

Here you go again – looking across the pasture to the grass on the other side of the fence… It looks so much greener. You just know it will satisfy you and fill that empty void.  Is the grass really greener, or is it just an illusion?

Be careful little eyes what you see --- Don’t believe it!  One of Satan’s clever tactics is to make you think you’re being deprived of something good.   John writes in his first epistle “For all that is in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – is not of the Father, but is of the world” (I John 2:16).  Covetousness  is one of the sins of the eyes – and Hollywood gives us much to covet with regards to the “perfect” relationship.  Their standard is unattainable and unrealistic.  We must base our marriages on God’s Word and His beautiful gift of intimacy in marriage.  God is relational and we must work on our relationship with Him in order to mirror it in our marriage.

Your enemy’s greatest weapon is to create doubt – not only doubt that God loves you, but even more sinister – doubt that your own spouse loves you.  When you’re in a spiritually mismatched marriage, simply “replacing” your spouse will not solve all your problems.  You may know a couple that divorced and remarried – believing that the new spouse would bring a greater happiness or contentment.  Oftentimes this is not the case – but to the contrary – it often creates a feeling of hopelessness when the new spouse fails to live up to those impossible expectations.

Paul addresses the married believer in I Corinthians 7:10, 13-14, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband…And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”

God ordained marriage between one woman and one man – until death do they part.  Marriage isn’t a convenience until you’re not happy anymore, or until your spouse makes you angry, or until you find someone better.  It is an unwavering commitment – based on honor, integrity and devotion – not on feelings and mood swings.  (Please remember abuse is grounds for leaving your marriage)

Your husband may be one that chatters non-stop or hardly talks at all. Every man is different and in most marriages – communication is the key to survival.  We are still working on our marriage after thirty + years.  I tend to be more outgoing and verbal, and he is more reflective and quiet.  Sure makes for an interesting conversation starter.

What has been your experience in your marriage?  Do you struggle with envy and a runaway imagination at times?  Do you have any tips for others in this situation?

There’s a line in the song Rose Garden by Lynne Anderson that says, “I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.”  

It's advisable to take off your “rose colored glasses”.   You will see that the grass is green – but not as lush and inviting as you first thought.  Best to stay in your own pasture...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 



  1. WONDERFUL post! Thank you so much! I am often tempted to think the grass is greener in so many areas of life. Great reminder to my heart today...


  2. Thanks for the kind words Melanie! As I reread my own post - I was encouraged! (lol) Have a blessed rest of your week! :)

  3. The grass is greener? But if we decide to jump over the fence, what do we find? The pasture on the other side not only needs mowing, but it also has weeds and cows! In other words, we will always step into a pasture pile! Never exactly what we expected.

    Sometimes, we only get tempted when we fail to water our own grass! Which means we praise the Lord for the good things in our spouse! In doing so, our attitude changes.

    Great post, Deborah!

  4. Amen Lynn! No wonder the grass looks better on the other side of the fence - it's being maintained! Too often we're neglecting our own piece of turf :)

  5. Your enemy’s greatest weapon is to create doubt – not only doubt that God loves you, but even more sinister – doubt that your own spouse loves you.

    Amen Deborah. Excellent post.

  6. Thanks for stopping by Lynn. You bless me with your sweet affirmation and comments. :)

  7. Great post, Deborah! So very true. :-)

  8. Thank you so much Dineen - I still struggle with it every so often. Got to take off those rose-colored glasses... :)

  9. Deborah, I had so many unrealistic expectations in my first marriage. I also looked at seemingly "more spiritual" couples and coveted what they had--or at least, what I could see.

    God used those experiences to teach me some truths--about Himself, about me, and about my spouse.

    Today, I try to remember those truths in my marriage of less than a year. :) Thank God for a second chance. Thank God for His blessings--on the other side of the fence and on mine. :)


  10. Hi Daphne. Great to see you here! Sounds like you can relate to being tempted to think others have it so much better. We need the power of Christ within us to withstand those lies... So glad He's the God of second chances. We all need His grace.



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