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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

A Spiritual "Tug-O-War"

Do you feel as though you are in a spiritual tug-o-war? 

When you are living in an unequally-yoked marriage, there will be times when you feel as though you are being pulled in two different directions...

Do you struggle as I do with everyday occurrences that remind you of a scene in "Clash of the Titans"?  This epic story of good versus evil is found in many books, movies and fairy tales. So how does that correlate to a spiritually mismatched marriage?  

The Apostle Paul appeals to believers in II Corinthians 6:14 as follows: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"  His main focus was on everyday life choices including friendships, commerce and social activities. Christians are supposed to be separated unto the Lord to maintain a witness to an unsaved world.

However, he also lays out Godly principles in I Corinthians 7:10-16 regarding believers married to non-believers. He sums up with this: "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" 

Just remember this... ... He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world (I John 4:4). 

First and foremost we must maintain our connection with Jesus Christ and feed our spiritual man [woman]. The world contends for our attention. This quote from C.H. Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening" says it all:  "It is the incessant turmoil of the world, the constant attraction of earthly things, that takes the soul away from Christ".

Be sure that you make time to charge your spiritual battery. You need to stay in fellowship with Jesus in order to live a Christ-centered life at home. Here is one of my Blog posts from the past that explains what I mean:  Exercise Profits Nothing


Next, don't view your spouse as the enemy. Remember they don't yet know the Lord as you do. They are spiritually "dead" to the things of God. In my book MISSION POSSIBLE - Chapter 2 The "Abigail Syndrome", I explain it this way:

"The world does make man like stone and cold to the things of God. Pray for your husband as in Ezekiel 36:26: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."  His spiritual death needs to be recognized by his flesh. When your husband dies to himself, it will be so God can raise him up with "resurrection power" to be the Godly priest of your home [God] intended!"  Copyright © Deborah McCarragher and God Mission Possible, 2010-2015 


Lastly, dwell with your mate in harmony as much as is possible. When my husband wants to watch something on TV that "grates" on my spirit, I just go upstairs to my office and watch something else. Having a heated discussion on what he wants to watch versus what I want to watch only leads to further division. We watch plenty of TV together - so I've learned to choose my battles carefully. 

Do what you can to live in peace. Give and take. Hold your tongue. Defer to your spouse's choices when practical and wait for an appropriate time to discuss your concerns. I wrote a Blog post on this subject here: Can't We All Just Get Along?

If you think you're going to "blow a gasket" - go for a walk. Step into another room and say an SOS prayer. Make provision for quality time for yourself. That way you'll be less likely to react in a dishonorable way.

Don't let the "tug-o-war" become a win or lose scenario. You can win by letting God have His way in your life and peace in your home.







Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

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