About The Author

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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Did Someone Say "Work"?

WORKThe word itself conjures up sweat, time & effort. 

Webster in part defines work as:  sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.

Work is hard.  Work is...well, work! Marriage demands time and effort. Based on the definition above, what exactly is our objective or desired result?  According to God’s Word it is unity, honor, edification, submission to authority, spiritual fruit-bearing and unconditional love  (I Peter, I Corinthians and Ephesians). 

Often when we enter into marriage we come with preconceived ideas about what it should look like.  Sometimes we have high expectations.  We often drag our over-stuffed baggage into our marriage and begin to unpack it.  We just aren’t realistic about what a healthy God-patterned marriage should look like. It can be devastating, in an unequally-yoked marriage, if you don’t grasp the biblical teaching concerning your role as a believer in your union.  God's standards are high - but attainable.  Work is definitely involved if you want good results.

Back to the basics we go.  First, there needs to be unity in the marriage.  This can be difficult if only one spouse loves and serves the Lord.  You must be in unity with Christ first, and then you can be in unity with your spouse in the areas of your marriage that don’t contradict God’s Word.  Be at peace with everyone as much as depends on you (Romans 12:18).  Paul addressed the first-century church no different than he would today: submit to one another in love.  Ephesians 4:1-3 says, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Submission is such a misunderstood word in the church, especially for women.  Godly submission is taught in the book of Ephesians and in the book of Romans, and its premise is demonstrated throughout the Bible.  Christ is the Head [of the Church] and ideally the husband is submitted to His authority.  The wife is to be submitted to her husband in the Lord.   We all submit to some form of authority in our lives.  We begin by submitting to our parents, then teachers, law-enforcement, government, employers, church leaders, and others in society.  Submission is best illustrated in John chapter 17 as Jesus prayed for Himself and submitted to His Father’s will. 

We will exhibit spiritual fruit-bearing, worthy of the Lord, when we dig our roots deep into God’s Word and cultivate the soil of our hearts with His Spirit.  Galatians 5:16-18 tells us to “walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”  When we live a Spirit-filled life, we will display the fruits of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. This fruit-bearing should set us apart from those living in the world system.  As Christians, we need to display behavior that is God honoring and exemplifies Christ’s qualities that drew so many people unto Himself.

Finally, loving your spouse isn’t a feeling – it’s a commitment to do what is right.  God loved us “while we were yet sinners” and died for us (Romans 5:8).  We must love our spouses as Christ loves us without preconditions. You don't need a “litmus test” to see if they are worthy of our affections or not.  Love is the greatest of all virtues and does not fail.   I Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”  

 Love is something that we purpose in our heart to do for a lifetime. Our marriage partner deserves our love regardless of what society tells us in movies, TV shows, or in the public square.  We are obligated to "flesh out the love" God has for us, to our spouses in a tangible way – day by day.  

How do you make your marriage work for you instead of against you?  Study and show yourself approved by putting into practice what Scripture teaches (II Timothy 2:15).  Make a decision to conquer the obstacles that stand in your way of achieving a Godly marriage - one step at a time.

 Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit

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  1. Excellent article! It saddens me how people just give up now a days. Even though there are times it 'feels' like work, it is oh so worth it to push through! God is faithful.

    1. Thanks for visiting Christena! I agree with you - too often couples just "throw in the towel" and march off to divorce court. Hard work is God ordained and too few want to put in the effort. So sad...

  2. As in all relationships, it must begin with respect. Respect your spouse above all else. My husband and I have great respect for each other, for our goals and our beliefs. Even though he is not a Believer, he is a good man with high principles, which I can respect. He respects my faith, supporting me even though he does not attend church. Maybe he will someday. Out of respect I do not harangue him about services or prayer. I choose to encourage by example. Great article, Deborah. Many excellent points to savor and reflect on.

  3. Thank you for the Godly wisdom you shared here Cecilia. Indeed, respect is paramount in the marriage relationship. God has admonished me more than once when I failed to obey that command. Honoring our husbands by showing them respect gladdens the heart of God. And yes, Christs's example through our actions is the best witness. Be blessed.



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