About The Author

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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

You Have To Work At It To Make It All Worthwhile

WORK - The word itself conjures up sweat, effort, and time.

Webster in part defines work as: sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.

Wow! I’m tired just thinking about that definition of work. But seriously, marriage is hard work!

So what exactly is our objective or desired result? According to God’s Word it is unity, honor, edification, submission to authority, spiritual fruit-bearing and unconditional love (I Peter, Ephesians, and I Corinthians).

Often when we enter marriage we come with pre-conceived ideas about what it should look like. We have high expectations. We come dragging in our over-stuffed baggage. We just aren’t realistic about what a healthy God-patterned marriage should look like. If you are in an unequally-yoked marriage, it can be devastating if you don’t grasp the biblical teaching concerning your role as God’s marital representative in that particular situation.

Back to the basics we go. First, there needs to be unity in the marriage. This can be difficult if only one spouse loves and serves the Lord. You must be in unity with Christ first, and then you can unify with your spouse in the areas of your marriage that don’t contradict God’s Word. Be at peace with everyone as much as depends on you (Romans 12:18). Paul addressed the first-century church no different than he would today: submit to one another in love. Ephesians 4:1-3 says, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Submission is such a misunderstood word in the church, especially for women. Godly submission is taught in the book of Ephesians and in the book of Romans, and its premise is demonstrated throughout the Bible. Christ is the Head (of the Church) and ideally the husband is submitted to His authority. The wife is to be submitted to her husband in the Lord. We all submit to some form of authority in our lives. We begin submitting to our parents, then teachers, law-enforcement, government, employers, church leaders, and more. Submission is best illustrated in John chapter 17 as Jesus prayed for Himself and submitted to His Father’s Will.

Also, we will exhibit spiritual fruit-bearing, worthy of the Lord when we dig our roots deep into God’s Word and cultivate the soil of our hearts with His Spirit. Galatians Chapter 5 tells us to “walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” When we live a Spirit-filled life, we will display the fruits of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. This fruit-bearing should set us apart from those living in the world system. As Christians, we should display behavior that is God honoring and exemplifies Christ’s qualities that drew so many people to Him.

Finally, loving your spouse isn’t a feeling – it’s a commitment to do what is right. God loved us “while we were yet sinners” and died for us (Romans 5:8). We must love our spouses as Christ loves us without pre-conditions or a “litmus test” to see if they are worthy of our affections or not. Love is the greatest of all virtues and does not fail. I Corinthians chapter 13 tells us, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love is something that we purpose in our heart to do for a lifetime to our marriage partner, regardless of what society tells us in movies, TV shows, or in the public square. We are obligated to flesh out the love God has for us to our spouse in a tangible way – day by day.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion. It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.




  1. Finally, loving your spouse isn’t a feeling – it’s a commitment to do what is right...

    Amen my friend. Amen..... Great article. It's a joy to serve the Kingdom with you. Hugs.

  2. Thanks so much Lynn - you're such an encouragement! {{hugs}}

  3. Excellent Note; Sometimes marriage is hard work; other times everything just flows--like the waters, there is an ebb and flow to it.

  4. What a great post. I think sometimes as Christian's we forget to work at making our marriages work.

  5. I agree Donna - there is often an ebb & flow in marriage. I mention that in my book!

    Debra, you are so right! Marriage is work no matter if you are an equally or unequally yoked couple! Thanks for the comment!



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