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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The ABIGAIL SYNDROME - What not to do

Do you feel that if you could just "dump" your husband, everything would be okay?

No - really... Being unequally yoked in marriage is difficult most days and near impossible other days. Is he the real reason you can't serve God how you'd like to? Suppose you could just go back in time and redo the whole marriage thing. I'm talking about after you became a Christian.  There are many of us that came to faith in Jesus Christ later on in our marriage. If we were honest, many of us would say "YES" to the redo, but that would be erroneous and sinful wouldn't it?

When I became a Christian at 33 yrs. old, I had already been married for seven years. As time went by I began to grow more and more unsettled. I was a new creature in Christ. I had new interests and desires. But God stopped my flawed thinking and convicted me of what I was plotting. I believe God told me I would get a new husband with the same man!

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife…For how do you know, 
O wife, whether you will save your husband?” (I Corinthians 7: 14, 16)

And now a little background history on Abigail and David:

After King David had commanded several successful military campaigns, he mercifully spared King Saul’s life in a cave in the region of En Gedi. David then journeyed into the wilderness of Paran following Samuel’s death and burial. Samuel had, under God’s direction, chosen and anointed David as the future King of Israel.

By this time David had already taken Saul’s daughter Michal as his wife; a gift from the King to David for a crushing defeat of the Philistines in exchange for his bride’s dowry, as vengeance on the King’s enemies. David and his men were in the wilderness when he heard that a man in Carmel named Nabel, whose sheep were being sheared, might have provisions for him and his young warriors (I Samuel 21-24).

Here is an excerpt from  MISSION POSSIBLE Chapter 4 "The Abigail Syndrome".  Mission Possible is a book for women who are unequally-yoked in marriage. Using God's Word, it offers the reader hope and encouragement, while applying Biblical truths.

The traditional story of Abigail in I Samuel 25 is a familiar one. Abigail was married to Nabal, a man of means who treated her and everyone else like dirt. Though Nabal was descended from Caleb, he shared none of his virtues. When King David heard that her husband Nabal reviled his men, he was ready to kill him and his household. Abigail went out to meet David with humility and gifts. David highly praised Abigail’s courage and advice. Nabal soon died upon hearing what took place after his drunken binge. Abigail became David’s wife when he proposed after learning of Nabal’s fate. Abigail would now reside with the King in a “fairy tale” ending.

Not so fast… Don’t be “caught up” in the Abigail syndrome. I believe God has a New Testament application for those of us who stand in the gap for our unbelieving husbands. Let’s look at what this passage does not represent:

We don’t pray that our husbands will “drop dead” so we can marry a believer as that would not be in God’s perfect will for us. Neither do we hope he’ll die from a heart attack to “pay him back” for his evil ways. God has a better plan. I believe this would be the God honoring scenario for the wife who believes for her husband’s salvation.

Abigail was a woman of good understanding. (I Samuel 25:3). Godly wisdom and understanding promote knowing God’s will. Isaiah 11:2 is a picture of the Holy Spirit for us today: “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon [us], the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” We must be in tune with what God would have us do with regards to our mate. Daily prayer and being in God’sWord helps us to know God’s will.

Interestingly, when David sent his men to ask favor and provision from Nabal, he was indifferent and inquired: “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse?…Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat … and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” (I Samuel 25:10-11). Likewise, your husband, just as Nabal, doesn’t know the King yet.

Often times it is difficult to tithe, attend every church service, or be at every Bible study or function because your husband doesn’t see a need for you to participate or share you with God. Be patient. He must see your commitment and desire to be with God’s people and in God’s presence.

Nabal was a self-made man who was very prideful and greedy. Reading Jesus’ parable of the rich fool in Luke 12:16-20, we see similarities. Nabal was not thankful for anything, nor recognized God’s hand of provision at all. Your husband may be “rich and full of worldly things.” His equating “good things & provision” to GOD are foreign. Only GOD can change his heart and priorities as you pray for his spiritual enlightenment (Ephesians 1:18). Pray for God to woo him by His Spirit into a curiosity and awareness of the things of God.

Unlike King David who planned to wipe out Nabal’s lineage, God has compassion and mercy on our spouses. He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). God wills that your spouse join you in “holy union.” The apostle Paul states in I Corinthians 7:14, 16 “for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife …for how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?”

When Abigail heard what Nabal had done, she quickly prepared an offering for King David. Our offering brought to our King is a humble heart, a willing & submissive spirit, and unwavering obedience. We intercede on our husband’s behalf by meeting the King of Kings.

King David praised Abigail for her good sense and devotion: “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you , because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed… unless you had hastened and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal” (I Samuel 25:32-34). David would have wiped out Nabal’s name but it was God’s desire to “promote a Godly lineage.” Abigail’s actions and attitude spared Nabal but Nabal didn’t recognize her sacrifice. Our sacrifice on our spouse’s behalf is unwavering faith and persistent prayers offered up to the Throne of Grace. GOD always takes notice of devotion!

Copyright © Deborah McCarragher and God Mission Possible, 2009-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this Blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Deborah McCarragher and/or God Mission Possible with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. All guest content remains the property of the appropriate author - any reproduction is strictly prohibited without their prior written approval.

How would God have you treat your spouse? What would He have you do to honor your vows before God - even though your husband isn't a Christian yet?  Share with me your experiences in marriage that might mirror that of Abigail's petition before the king.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.


Thursday, April 27, 2017

4 Wedding Warnings We Shouldn't Ignore

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.  (Philippians 2:1-4)

Our Marriages are the testing ground for God to win us to himself. Our marriages are basic training for the one Marriage that will not disappoint.
~ Dan Allender & Tremper Longhman III

Christianity has long called us to this truth: Marriage must be about more than itself because love that does not serve life will die.
~ Evelyn & James Whitehead

How great, then, is the constraint in marriage, which subjects even the stronger to the other; for by mutual constraint each is bound to serve. Nor if one wishes to refrain can he withdraw his neck from the yoke, for he is subject to the [desires] of the other... You see how plainly the servitude of marriage is defined.
~ Ambrose

Marriage is hard work.

It requires humility and sacrifice. It calls us to a higher place of denial and selfless service. The Apostle Paul wrote his eloquent passage on "love" in I Corinthians 13:4-8 which is often recited during wedding ceremonies. He also addresses marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33.

Marriage takes teamwork.  It requires a "give & take" attitude and often calls for setting aside your views and wishes for those of your mate. Many couples simply don't take time to reflect sufficiently on the tremendous commitment they are undertaking in marriage.

Let's take this scenario as an example:  

Someone you know is getting married.  You saw the day coming and you are happy for them. Months of preparation have gone into their impending nuptials. The wedding date is quickly approaching - but you begin to see warning signs of trouble ahead. Maybe they are not made for each other after all.

How would you confront your friend? Would you tell them you were concerned that their decision to marry might be the wrong one? Could you honestly share your heart with them and plead for them to reconsider?

Spiritually speaking, as Christians, we have a wedding date in the future with our Groom [Jesus Christ]. Do we take seriously the pledge to our future husband? Do we contemplate life with our beloved? Are we keeping ourselves pure for Him only?

Here are four wedding warnings in the spiritual realm we shouldn't ignore:

1.  We have little or no preparation -  Ephesians 5:26 tells us that Jesus cleanses us with the washing of water by the word [of God]. Time spent in the holy Scriptures allows the Spirit to test our hearts and search our minds - conforming us to His standards and not the world's. Our outward appearance as a Christian and primping for the public eye is useless if we do not concern ourselves with our inner beauty and purity.

2.  We have a wandering eye -  Our God is a jealous God. We are the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8). When we yearn and lust after the world, we demonstrate our wandering heart. God repeatedly chastised the nation of Israel for playing the harlot. Hosea 2:19-20 tells us that God betroths us to Himself forever.  Longing for yesteryear or days gone by with affection is dangerous and deadly. Every believer in Jesus Christ needs to have "eyes for Him only".

3.  We don't take it seriously -  How often do we "play games" with our spiritual heritage. Well meaning rituals, programs, even service to God can become mechanical and habitual. Our focus on the Lord Jesus must be heartfelt and genuine. Our lame attempt at sincere devotion is evident when we dismiss meaningful engagement with other believers or avoid church wide commitment. Brides look forward to their wedding.

4.   We lack fervent anticipation -  Longing for our Lord Jesus is key to our heart's desire to be with Him for all eternity.  Matthew 25:1-13 says that the virgins that were waiting for the bridegroom were a divided lot. Half of them were wise and half of them were foolish.  The wise virgins had the oil they needed for their lamps when he came unexpectedly. The Apostle Paul also expressed great joy in anticipating Christ's return in I Thessalonians 2:19 and I Thessalonians 4:16-17. True love waits with a longing that is easily recognizable.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. That means it is permanent. God intended that a man and a women would be partners for their entire natural life. Christ and His church is the heavenly portrait of what our marriage on earth should be patterned after. It is also a glimpse of our relationship with Him for eternity as we are the bride of Christ.

May and June are traditional wedding months for many couples. Take some personal time to reflect on your commitment to a Groom who loves you with an everlasting love...

Here are two of my "favorite posts" on Marriage and Weddings

                                                             Love and Marriage                    

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.



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