About The Author

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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Why Are We So Sad? Five Possible Reasons...

Sadness is an expression of grief or unhappiness. It often precedes a brief season of depression.

I am generally an upbeat, positive person. Cheerful, encouraging, and hopeful describe me most days.

So why do I find myself feeling so sad lately?  What causes me to well-up inside and become so despondent?  Why can't I control my emotions better?

When you live in an unequally-yoked marriage, you feel like you just don't belong in the local church the way a Christian married couple does. Your habits and routines are different. Your giving and commitments are different. Your spiritual cadence is different from other couples. You feel so out-of-step with everyone else. Here is a post I wrote earlier that deals with some of those differences titled  Are You Missing In Action?

Depression is a valid emotion in the cycle of life. You can "visit" depression - just don't take up "residence" there.

In I Kings 19:1-18 we read about Elijah and his struggles with depression. After God miraculously displayed His power on Mount Carmel, Elijah withdrew into the desert armed with a death wish. He hid in a cave and wailed "woe is me" before accusing God of leaving him all alone to fight the heathen foreigners.

King David struggled with depression and feelings of intense sadness more than once. Some of the emotions had to do with blatant sin, while others dealt with fear and rejection. He often questioned God about the whole matter.

Here are some of David's heartfelt pleas:  Lord, how long will You look on? Rescue me from their destruction... (Psalm 35:17)  Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You. (Psalm 38:9)  Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? (Psalm 42:5)  Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You. (Psalm 57:1) Lord, I cry out to You; make haste to me! Give ear to my voice when I cry out to You. (Psalm 141:1)

It's okay to cry out to God and raise the question "Why?"

God already knows our struggles and fears. He sees down the road of uncertainty. He is aware of the pitfalls and traps laid by the enemy. He cannot be taken by surprise. Nothing is too difficult for Him to deal with.  So why do we fret and get ourselves so worked up over things we have little or no control over? What do we do with the intense feelings of sadness and heaviness that blanket our souls? How do we make sense of the heartache and sorrowful countenance?

Here are five possible reasons for the sadness...

1.  We are grieving the fact that our marriage partner isn't in sync with us spiritually. Believers have a spiritual discernment. We are instructed by the Spirit of God. Our unbelieving spouse can't grasp that concept and they are spiritually blind. Amos 3:3 declares, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"  And Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

2.  We are saddened by the thought that our best efforts haven't made a substantial difference in their spiritual conversion.  We have to be realistic here in our expectations. God is the one who draws unbelievers into fellowship with Himself. As Paul says in I Corinthians 3:6, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase."

3.  We have difficulty processing the fact that our marriage might never improve on the timetable or in the way we think it should. God has a specific plan for our marriage. He is never in a hurry, and He is never late. The important thing to remember is God wants to do what will bring Him the "most glory" with regards to our mate's salvation. God has given them His permissive "free will" to choose salvation or to reject it. Our place is to pray for their spiritual enlightenment. (Romans 10:20)

4.  We can't seem to grasp the thought of differences that may never be reconciled. One of the hardest things to do is to examine our own emotions and then take steps to deal with them honestly. My previous post  Can't We All Just Get Along?  has some great pointers to help you stay on track.

5.  We reluctantly recognize that depression may visit us for a season. We must come to grips with the fact that we will have good and bad days, ups and downs, highs and lows. Every marriage experiences "seasons" - and quite often they coincide with major life events, changes, challenges, and family dynamics that we have no control over. Our spouse will not always give us the support we long for. However, you can count on this: Jesus will never leave us or forsake us. (Joshua 1:5)

So how do we move forward and regain our spiritual footing?

Be practical and proactive. Start by doing the basics: eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. When you feel overwhelmed - take a deep breath and prioritize. Give yourself permission to process sadness and grief. Keep yourself centered on God's Word. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Reprogram your mind to think on "things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, and virtuous" (Philippians 4:8).

Don't worry - and be happy might just be words from a popular song - but they also help to redirect your thoughts. Our Lord Jesus put it this way, "And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?" (Luke 12:25-26).

God will help you with your feelings of sadness and depression. Prayer and meditating on His Word brings comfort and security. God is our Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).

Stay well connected with Christian friends. Continue with your small group studies and church activities when you find yourself wanting to withdraw. We were meant to be part of a community of believers. Encourage one another and extend grace even when it is undeserved.

Each day begins with a clean slate. Every dawn holds new opportunities and possibilities. Today is a good day for a good day...

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.


Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Hidden Dangers: 3 Ways to Inspect Your Foundation

foundation is a prepared base or support for a structure to be built on

In times past, a  foundation stone was laid with great fanfare, often in a public ceremony. Many times during a ground-breaking ceremony, a local dignitary would symbolically put a shovel into the dirt and pose for a picture to commemorate the event.

The foundation is the most important part of any building. The materials and work on a slab foundation is literally “set in stone”, and has no room for errors. In this type of foundation wooden forms are built which then hold the poured concrete. A footing trench is dug around the perimeter to provide added thickness along the end of the slab. These edges are stress prone and the weakest point of the foundation. Usually sand or gravel is spread below where the concrete is poured. This technique prevents the slab from sinking under the weight of the concrete. A vapor barrier is usually installed above the sand or gravel, and wire mesh is placed in the center of the slab with rebar (steel rods) in the footing areas to add rigidity and prevent cracking.

What about your foundation? Does it show fault lines or signs of stress?

Sometimes before the concrete has thoroughly cured, cracks and other imperfections appear, They can weaken the foundation, preventing adequate under-girding of the intended structure. 

It is periodically necessary to take an honest look at your spiritual foundation. As we grow and mature in Christ - we develop a greater ability to discern and evaluate exactly what we believe as it lines up with Scripture. Isaiah 28:10 says this regarding the learning process: "For precept must be upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little."

Here are (3) things you can examine regarding your spiritual foundation:

1. Our spiritual foundation needs to be built upon the Word of God. 

The Apostle Paul took time in Corinth to teach on the concept of the right foundation. In I Corinthians 3:9-14 Paul explains the importance of a sure and righteous foundation: “For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. 

For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now, if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become manifest; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward.”  

2. Our spiritual foundation needs to have Jesus Christ at its center.

JESUS is the Chief Cornerstone of our faith.

Peter quotes Isaiah in I Peter 2:6-7 stating,“Behold, I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he who believes on Him will be no means be put to shame.” Therefore, to you who believe, He is precious; but to those who are disobedient,“The stone which the builders rejected has become the Chief cornerstone.”

Jesus Himself quoted Psalm 118:22-23 and said, “Did you never read in the Scriptures: ‘The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone. This was the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes?"  The Lord Jesus Christ is the Cornerstone of the church.  He was dismissed and ultimately rejected by the Jews. He came first to the lost sheep of Israel, only to be mocked, insulted and executed by those who heard His message.

3. Our spiritual foundation needs to be grounded in doctrinal truths

Peter preached to the Sanhedrin in boldness and truth in Acts 4:8-12 saying, "...that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole. This is the stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone. Nor is there salvation is any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Jesus told the parable of the two builders in Matthew 7:24-27: "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: "and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. Now everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: "and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall."

In closing - here are two past Blog posts I wrote that confirm the importance of "rebooting" 
your mindset as a new Christian, and how to keep your "spiritual muscles" in top condition:

When we examine our own spiritual foundation, 
will we find these important components?

~ Discipleship opportunities and Bible Study
~ Decision making, obedience and submission to God’s leading
~ Discernment, wisdom and stewardship
~ Fellowship, outreach and ministry
~ Charity, hospitality and good works

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.



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