About The Author

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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Do you relate to DORY? I hope so...

Disney - Pixar
I must admit that I enjoy many Disney movies made for children. They often have a fun and quirky array of characters, and they generally present a great moral lesson within their story line.

Take the blockbuster Finding Nemo.  A clown fish (Marlin) and his son Nemo are separated after his son strays into the Great Barrier Reef. He is abducted by a boat and taken to Sydney Harbor where he ends up in a dentist's aquarium.

Marlin frantically looks for his son amid the vast ocean and teams up with Dory, a blue tang who suffers from short term memory loss. Together they search for Nemo as they encounter various dangers, sea creatures and unforeseen delays. Dory wants to help - but her constant memory loss diverts her attention to everything except her ongoing search and rescue mission to find Nemo. Marlin refuses to give up even though the task at hand seems hopeless. Father and son will be together again! With help from Dory and many others along the way, Marlin is finally reunited with his son.

I often joke about having "short term memory loss" like Dory - but that might be a good thing! In your unequally-yoked marriage you will have days where forgiveness is key;  no, it is absolutely necessary! Your Christian witness is on the line. You don't want to harbor resentment when your spouse doesn't meet a need, or responds in a gruff way to your request, or simply doesn't share that special spiritual connection with you.

Paul's passage in I Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that love has a responsibility to the other person. It enumerates several qualities that we as Christians should exhibit in our marriage - even to an unbeliever. This post I wrote breaks it all down:   True Definition of Love

Another sticking point in your spiritually mismatched marriage is self-control. A quick temper can derail any chance of a civil resolution to your dilemma. Instead, if you let go of your right to revenge, criticism, and backlash - you can learn to turn a deaf ear to the enemy when you are tempted to answer in anger. Remember, Ephesians 5:33 tells us that the wife should respect her husband. That means your speech, body language and attitude. Here is a past post I wrote about anger that may be helpful:    Anger Management - God's Way

I often remind myself to take a deep breath and bite my tongue if I need to before I respond to something negative. We all can take offense to someone's actions or words. What we need to do is to extend grace to our partner and give our frustrations over to God.

I Peter 3:1-4 lays out what a Godly portrait of submission should look like. Wives can be a greater influence for their unsaved spouses by being whom God created them to be. Conduct is the key to exhibiting Christ-like qualities to your spouse. Are we perfect? No - far from it. However, God will give you the grace and quiet strength that is necessary to live for Him - even in an unequally-yoked marriage.  You can read my past post on submission here:  Oh No - Not the "S" Word !

Below is an excerpt from my book  MISSION POSSIBLE - Chapter 1  You've Embraced Christ - Now What? 

     The enemy will mercilessly bombard you with thoughts, feelings, emotions and physical disdain for your mate. You must take every thought captive (II Corinthians 10:5) and stop looking at your mate as the enemy. Don't let his actions and words provoke you into disobedience.

     Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for building up, that it may impart grace to the hearers."  Matthew 18:9 states, "and if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you."  So it goes with your tongue.

     Stop committing spiritual murder against your mate! Bite it off and cast it away! Don't sin by grieving God as you curse the very person God wills to join you to, as ONE!

Copyright  © Deborah McCarragher and God Mission Possible, 2010-2017 

Now back to the whole matter of  "what are you going to do when push comes to shove?"  My best advice is to be like Dory...  Make sure you have short-term memory loss.  Don't hold a grudge. Forgive quickly and fully. Keep your focus on what God would have you do to keep your marriage in balance and pleasing to Him. 

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The ABIGAIL SYNDROME - What not to do

Do you feel that if you could just "dump" your husband, everything would be okay?

No - really... Being unequally yoked in marriage is difficult most days and near impossible other days. Is he the real reason you can't serve God how you'd like to? Suppose you could just go back in time and redo the whole marriage thing. I'm talking about after you became a Christian.  There are many of us that came to faith in Jesus Christ later on in our marriage. If we were honest, many of us would say "YES" to the redo, but that would be erroneous and sinful wouldn't it?

When I became a Christian at 33 yrs. old, I had already been married for seven years. As time went by I began to grow more and more unsettled. I was a new creature in Christ. I had new interests and desires. But God stopped my flawed thinking and convicted me of what I was plotting. I believe God told me I would get a new husband with the same man!

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife…For how do you know, 
O wife, whether you will save your husband?” (I Corinthians 7: 14, 16)

And now a little background history on Abigail and David:

After King David had commanded several successful military campaigns, he mercifully spared King Saul’s life in a cave in the region of En Gedi. David then journeyed into the wilderness of Paran following Samuel’s death and burial. Samuel had, under God’s direction, chosen and anointed David as the future King of Israel.

By this time David had already taken Saul’s daughter Michal as his wife; a gift from the King to David for a crushing defeat of the Philistines in exchange for his bride’s dowry, as vengeance on the King’s enemies. David and his men were in the wilderness when he heard that a man in Carmel named Nabel, whose sheep were being sheared, might have provisions for him and his young warriors (I Samuel 21-24).

Here is an excerpt from  MISSION POSSIBLE Chapter 4 "The Abigail Syndrome".  Mission Possible is a book for women who are unequally-yoked in marriage. Using God's Word, it offers the reader hope and encouragement, while applying Biblical truths.

The traditional story of Abigail in I Samuel 25 is a familiar one. Abigail was married to Nabal, a man of means who treated her and everyone else like dirt. Though Nabal was descended from Caleb, he shared none of his virtues. When King David heard that her husband Nabal reviled his men, he was ready to kill him and his household. Abigail went out to meet David with humility and gifts. David highly praised Abigail’s courage and advice. Nabal soon died upon hearing what took place after his drunken binge. Abigail became David’s wife when he proposed after learning of Nabal’s fate. Abigail would now reside with the King in a “fairy tale” ending.

Not so fast… Don’t be “caught up” in the Abigail syndrome. I believe God has a New Testament application for those of us who stand in the gap for our unbelieving husbands. Let’s look at what this passage does not represent:

We don’t pray that our husbands will “drop dead” so we can marry a believer as that would not be in God’s perfect will for us. Neither do we hope he’ll die from a heart attack to “pay him back” for his evil ways. God has a better plan. I believe this would be the God honoring scenario for the wife who believes for her husband’s salvation.

Abigail was a woman of good understanding. (I Samuel 25:3). Godly wisdom and understanding promote knowing God’s will. Isaiah 11:2 is a picture of the Holy Spirit for us today: “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon [us], the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” We must be in tune with what God would have us do with regards to our mate. Daily prayer and being in God’sWord helps us to know God’s will.

Interestingly, when David sent his men to ask favor and provision from Nabal, he was indifferent and inquired: “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse?…Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat … and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” (I Samuel 25:10-11). Likewise, your husband, just as Nabal, doesn’t know the King yet.

Often times it is difficult to tithe, attend every church service, or be at every Bible study or function because your husband doesn’t see a need for you to participate or share you with God. Be patient. He must see your commitment and desire to be with God’s people and in God’s presence.

Nabal was a self-made man who was very prideful and greedy. Reading Jesus’ parable of the rich fool in Luke 12:16-20, we see similarities. Nabal was not thankful for anything, nor recognized God’s hand of provision at all. Your husband may be “rich and full of worldly things.” His equating “good things & provision” to GOD are foreign. Only GOD can change his heart and priorities as you pray for his spiritual enlightenment (Ephesians 1:18). Pray for God to woo him by His Spirit into a curiosity and awareness of the things of God.

Unlike King David who planned to wipe out Nabal’s lineage, God has compassion and mercy on our spouses. He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). God wills that your spouse join you in “holy union.” The apostle Paul states in I Corinthians 7:14, 16 “for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife …for how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?”

When Abigail heard what Nabal had done, she quickly prepared an offering for King David. Our offering brought to our King is a humble heart, a willing & submissive spirit, and unwavering obedience. We intercede on our husband’s behalf by meeting the King of Kings.

King David praised Abigail for her good sense and devotion: “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you , because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed… unless you had hastened and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal” (I Samuel 25:32-34). David would have wiped out Nabal’s name but it was God’s desire to “promote a Godly lineage.” Abigail’s actions and attitude spared Nabal but Nabal didn’t recognize her sacrifice. Our sacrifice on our spouse’s behalf is unwavering faith and persistent prayers offered up to the Throne of Grace. GOD always takes notice of devotion!

Copyright © Deborah McCarragher and God Mission Possible, 2009-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this Blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Deborah McCarragher and/or God Mission Possible with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. All guest content remains the property of the appropriate author - any reproduction is strictly prohibited without their prior written approval.

How would God have you treat your spouse? What would He have you do to honor your vows before God - even though your husband isn't a Christian yet?  Share with me your experiences in marriage that might mirror that of Abigail's petition before the king.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.



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