Saturday, January 27, 2018

A Valentine for Eternity

As women, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to take the extra steps to make sure that your husband, boyfriend, Dad, son, or any other important man in your life is made to feel very special. We are givers by nature, and we put much thought and energy into doing just the right things to show our love for them.

Concerning your husband - there is always the traditional candy, heart-felt greeting card, and favorite meal to appease them. But sometimes we just need to do more. If you are craft prone, you can create something unique for their office or man-cave. You might get them a gift card to their favorite “big-boys toy store” or let them know you’re taking them out for dinner! You can offer to go to a movie of their choosing, or buy them a half-hour massage at the local spa. The choices are endless.

All those things are great – but do you know what I bet they would really like? Okay, we already know what “we think they want”, but that’s not all that is on their mind.  I really believe they would like a straight-from-the-heart acknowledgement of how glad you are that you married them to begin with! Give them a “look in the eye” honest thank-you for all that you’ve been through together. Men desire our respect and love. Tell them that you’d marry them all over again – that they are just what God designed for you!  I Corinthians 13 is deemed the "love" chapter and is often quoted in weddings. Here is a post I did titled: Love Isn't Just for Valentine's Day

Ephesians 5 commands us to walk in love towards one another. The Apostle Paul is teaching on submitting to one another in the fear of God (verse 21). Husbands are admonished to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. The great mystery Paul talks about not only has to do with the “leaving and cleaving” in a physical holy union between and man and woman, but also of Christ and His Church. We leave the world and cleave unto Him. We forsake all others for our heavenly Husband. We are His alone. Just as Israel played the harlot and was unfaithful to God, we too can become “unfaithful” in our marriage concerning our allegiance. Our earthly husband is our gift from above – our completer, not our competitor. God wants our focus to be on our spouse and our marriage. That is our highest calling.

Paul’s last point in Ephesians 5 is, “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” The point of it is this: women generally have no problem “loving” – but they often have difficulty “respecting” their husband. Honor and respect goes a long way in forging a lasting, healthy and biblical relationship. This applies whether you are both Christians, or if you are unequally-yoked in your marriage. God wills that the wife respect her husband. Here is my post on this touchy subject: Respect: Who Needs It? (Part 1)

Peter lays out God’s perfect plan of submission with regards to women in marriage. I Peter 3 states, “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear [respect]."  Trusting God and His character is the key to showing respect to your spouse, even when it’s undeserved. God will honor your heart and motive. I wrote a blog post on Biblical submission here: Oh No - Not the "S" Word

On a personal note – do I always do everything just right? No way, not by any stretch of the imagination. Do my husband and I have ups and downs in our 36 year marriage? You bet! However, I learned early on in my Christian walk to show respect to my husband, even when I felt he didn’t deserve it. I don’t chide him in public, or belittle him in front of others. Just as a couple walking along the beach, love and respect go hand in hand.


When I first met my husband, he had a little garden area off of his patio at his apartment. He grew a variety of roses varying in color and size. I have always loved roses. That first day we met he presented me with a lovely single dark red rose. Throughout the years, I have received red roses on special occasions (one being the birth of our son), but more often than not – I have yearly received beautiful cards for Valentine’s Day displaying red roses on it.

What has touched my heart more than anything else over the years, has been a consistent hand-written note in the card saying that he loved me, and thanking God for me! This gesture of love comes from a man who has yet to make Jesus Christ the Lord of his life. I’m thankful that he sees the heart of God in me. How very humbling… To God be all the Glory!


    A Little History About Valentine’s Day -

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentines didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the 
oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. 
The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced 
in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland.












Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It was written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

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