About The Author

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Daughter of the King - born from above in 1989.

Deborah grew up in a military family and moved to Florida in the early 1970's.  She began her journey of creative writing soon after coming to know Jesus as her personal Savior. Her primary goal is to share her personal testimony with others while bringing hope and practical help through her writing.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Do You Wish Your Husband Would Drop Dead?

I know what you're thinking... "What did she just ask?"   

I became a Christian seven years into our marriage.  I was thirty-three years old at the time.  I was a new creature in Christ, with new interests and new desires.  I was increasingly more and more unhappy about my situation at home. I became somewhat unsettled in my new found faith.  But God stopped my flawed thinking and convicted me of what I was plotting... (no - not murder).  I just was day-dreaming about a change. Instead of wishing for a "new husband" by ditching my current one, I believe God told me - I would get a new husband with the same man!  

WOW - that was sure freeing for me as I struggled with the day to day tussles in a spiritually mismatched household.

The Biblical story of Abigail and King David is a classic.  Here's a little history lesson:

After King David had commanded several successful military campaigns, he mercifully spared King Saul’s life in a cave in the region of En Gedi.  David then journeyed into the wilderness of Paran following Samuel’s death and burial. Samuel had, under God’s direction, chosen and anointed David as the future King of Israel.

By this time David had already taken Saul’s daughter Michal as his wife; a gift from the King to David for a crushing defeat of the Philistines in exchange for his bride’s dowry, as vengeance on the King’s enemies. David and his men were in the wilderness when he heard that a man in Carmel named Nabel, whose sheep were being sheared, might have provisions for him and his young warriors (I Samuel 21-24).

Below is an excerpt from  MISSION POSSIBLE - Chapter 4   “The Abigail Syndrome”.   
Mission Possible is a book for women living in an unequally-yoked marriage. It offers the reader hope and encouragement using God's Word and applying Biblical truths.
The traditional story of “Abigail” in I Samuel 25 is a familiar one. Abigail was married to Nabal, a man of means who treated her and everyone else like dirt. Though Nabal was descended from Caleb, he shared none of his virtues.  When King David heard that her husband Nabal reviled his men, he was ready to kill him and his household. Abigail went out to meet David with humility and gifts. David highly praised Abigail’s courage and advice. Nabal soon died upon hearing what took place after his drunken binge. Abigail became David’s wife when he proposed after learning of Nabal’s fate. Abigail would now reside with the King in a “fairy tale” ending.

Not so fast… Don’t be “caught up” in the Abigail syndrome. I believe God has a New Testament application for those of us who stand in the gap for our unbelieving husbands. Let’s look at what this passage does not represent

We don’t pray that our husbands will “drop dead” so we can marry a believer as that would not be in God’s perfect will for us. Neither do we hope he’ll die from a heart attack to “pay him back” for his evil ways. God has a better plan. I believe this would be the God honoring scenario for the wife who believes for her husband’s salvation.

Abigail was a woman of good understanding. (I Samuel 25:3). Godly wisdom and understanding promote knowing God’s will. Isaiah 11:2 is a picture of the Holy Spirit for us today:  “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon [us], the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” We must be in tune with what God would have us do with regards to our mate. Daily prayer and being in God’sWord helps us to know God’s will.

Interestingly, when David sent his men to ask favor and provision from Nabal, he was indifferent and inquired: “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse?…Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat … and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” (I Samuel 25:10-11). Likewise, your husband, just as Nabal, doesn’t know the King yet.

Often times it is difficult to tithe, attend every church service, or be at every Bible study or function because your husband doesn’t see a need for you to participate or share you with God. Be patient. He must see your commitment and desire to be with God’s people and in God’s presence.

Nabal was a self-made man who was very prideful and greedy. Reading Jesus’ parable of the rich fool in Luke 12:16-20, we see similarities.  Nabal was not thankful for anything, nor recognized God’s hand of provision at all. Your husband may be “rich and full of worldly things.” His equating “good things & provision” to GOD are foreign. Only GOD can change his heart and priorities as you pray for his spiritual enlightenment (Ephesians 1:18). Pray for God to woo him by His Spirit into a curiosity and awareness of the things of God. 

Unlike King David who planned to wipe out Nabal’s lineage, God has compassion and mercy on our spouses. He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). God wills that your spouse join you in “holy union.” The apostle Paul states in I Corinthians 7:14, 16 “for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife …for how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?” 

When Abigail heard what Nabal had done, she quickly prepared an offering for King David. Our offering brought to our King is a humble heart, a willing & submissive spirit, and unwavering obedience. We intercede on our husband’s behalf by meeting the King of Kings.

King David praised Abigail for her good sense and devotion:  “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you , because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed… unless you had hastened and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal” (I Samuel 25:32-34). David would have wiped out Nabal’s name but it was God’s desire to “promote a Godly lineage.” Abigail’s actions and attitude spared Nabal but Nabal didn’t recognize her sacrifice. Our sacrifice on our spouse’s behalf is unwavering faith and persistent prayers offered up to the Throne of Grace. GOD always takes notice of devotion!

 God cherishes the soul we carry to Him in love when it’s “one flesh” we seek.

Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”.  It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit



  1. Great message, Deborah! The more we love God and draw closer to Him, the deeper love we can have for our spouses.

    My husband is a believer, but we don't share the same passion for God. To keep it from causing division, I have learned to love God with all my heart and not push or judge my husband, but pray and encourage him to come up higher. When I try to push him to be more spiritual, it just pushes him away from God and me.

    Thanks for the wonderful reminder. God bless:)

    1. Thanks Amanda! Loving our spouse and displaying Our love for God is what it's all about. Creating a hunger for God is what we do when we allow Him to move in and through us... Be blessed :)

  2. As a minister, I see this scenario played out time and time again. One or the other spouses waffles at faith in Christ or in exercising a committed faith. This post speaks to those issues wonderfully. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Thanks for blessing me with your kind words Bryan! I pray my little book will encourage the believer in an unequally-yoked marriage to stay with their spouse and let God work in their hearts and minds. My website features the book and links to Amazon, Smashwords, and other online retailers. God bless...

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